From this weekened

Like everyone, I am not perfect. Not even on the good days am I close to perfect. Lately I've been thinking about the reactions to my actions. I live with the knowledge that I have no regrets. Every action has a consequence, be it good or bad. Every decision I make is mine, and mine alone. I am to blame for all the goes wrong and all that goes right. I am steadfast in this belief. One of few convictions that I will forever stick by.

My actions. Recently, I have got my power back. I've started to really find something wonderful and likable in everyone. I've started to play with ideas of dating, and being in a relationship. For the last year I haven't done this, nor have I wanted to. I temporarily lost my power - you could say I was grounded for a year from a prior action. But I'm off grounding - and everything, EVERYTHING is looking good. For example, Saturday night was the WFC..I talked to every man that looked at me. That was a lot of talking, and a lot of ignoring. But every man got some kind of attention. It was great to spend my time talking, having great conversation and the occasional drunk guy that just wanted to fan up my skirt with disgustingly poetic innuendos. I was severely fine with my actions until I started getting reactions.

Action/Reaction: While I was listening to some drunk-guy drivel - a new guy friend of mine left without saying bye. This bothered me terribly. Why would you leave without saying by to the people you came with? Because while he was hanging out, I was busy listening to drunk drivel. He's a nice one too. We had great conversations.

Action/Reaction: I totally let go of all this tension I had for another friend of mine and told him how much I liked him. Not a big secret, not a big deal. And at this point of the night, I really did like everyone. It's something that I told myself I would tell him next time we were together just to get it out there - and I did. He reacted appropriately in the moment. All was good. I did however turn to my left and start chatting it up with his friend and in a little while, they left. Had a great conversation with the friend - a drunk one, but fun conversation...and I can remember thinking, 'this guy is great too, i might crush on him for a minute'.

So none of this is out of the norms for any kind of drinking event. When women get drunk with power they use it unwisely. I don't want to be that girl this time. I want to be the girl who uses it wisely and snags a good man this time. But that means focus and time. Focusing takes skill - mine is VERY underdeveloped. Time - it's just something none of us have, I have cultivated the skill to make it though. This brings me back to the reactions to my actions. I think the only way to get the reaction that I want is to manipulate the action. It's all about shaping my skills. I really want to make some sort of reference to being an athlete right now.

It's back

So the rash turned into impetigo on my left arm went away, left a scare and is now on my right arm. But I caught it really early and went to a real doctor, instead of the minute clinic at cvs. He says it is an allergic reaction that last time probably turned into impetigo (since I let it go so long and fiddled with it). So he's putting me on a steroid pack and hydrocortizone cream. I was just starting to feel normal and not so 'dirty' and here I am back to being the 'dirty girl'. It's just so gross.

Happy Friday, tomorrow! I can't wait!!!!!

Cross Roads Music Fest

This is the best unknown festival Kansas City has to offer. It's a once a year commitment you should make! It was the best time, the best music, and the best people. Everyone should make a valiant effort to go next year. It'll be totally worth your time. And I'll be there! I won't miss another, now that I know what I am missing.

Check out the Spice of Life Productions to get a better picture of what I'm talking about. They also put on The donkey show, which is an awesome themed variety show. Love, Love, Love it!

Funky Fall

Fall is coming. This means many things to me. There's always lots to do and fun things that go on. A lot of group events, like festivals and such. Pumpkins and Halloween! Then it all just rolls into the holiday season and before we know it my birthday - I mean spring is here.
But the fall also means that inevitably my depression comes back. I've noticed since about 1997, that every fall I get depressed. Into a funk, if you will. It's not as bad as it used to be, and definitely not as bad as when I was going to grad school and working full time. But there's still a funk. I don't know that I will ever get rid of it. I'm sure a professional (and please, I've been to many) would say something about Seasonal Affective Disorder - or just that my clinical depression is triggered by something in the fall. In fact, they have said this. Most offer some sort of mood inhibiting drug or the famous advice of working out, doing things that make me happy. But we're going on 10 years, people. I've done it all. And yet, I find myself sitting directly in funk (not my kids funk, that is a different kind, and boy did i smell that today).
While it's easier to pull myself out, because really I'm only ankle deep in funk right now, I still hate that I am going through this. For no reason. My life is good. I'm happy. My job is challenging. I have the best friends in the world. There is nothing to complain about, nothing. So why is it that I am still sitting here with my feet in the funk.
I'm not really asking for advice or suggestions, rather just getting my thoughts out there. Writing them down. Being able to look back in 10 more years and say...hmm...still funky or thank God there isn't any more funk in the fall.
Maybe I should celebrate it and have a funky fall party. Maybe I should just keep about my business and not let myself get swallowed up in this funk. Maybe I should just reach out and let people know - it's the funky season - moods are a changin'.
I just find it odd. And wanted to write it down. That is all.

every day gets a little better

Just wanted to give you an update of how things are going in my house. I have to tell you, it is very hard to type with a little kitty getting all up in my business.

I decided to name the kitty, Maizey. It was in my secret list of names for kids. I think it fits her. It's unique enough to fit her crazy personality. She's such a playful thing.



Here's a picture I captured today while Maggie and Maizey were sleeping together on the couch. I think Maggie was sleeping and then Maizey kinda curled up there. Maggie is really being patient and seems to have accepted the kitty. Here's another picture that shows her patience and motherly nature.



It was so cute to watch Maggie wag her tail and Maizey try and catch it. Never once did Maggie get mad or try and nip at her like she had been doing.

I'm much happier now that all living animals in the house are getting along.

I did it.

Kansas City has this jewel of a diner - Town Topic. Many people don't go there. I'm not sure as to whether it's the lack of space to eat, the dirtiness of the trailer, the cracked-out waitresses, or maybe they don't like diner food. I was virgin to this place until I met Natalie. Then one night after having some drinks, she thought we needed a Truck Stop from Town Topic. I remember thinking, 'I need to call my dad and tell him I'm here. I'm sitting here eating at Town Topic.' I am sure I thought that because it's a landmark - and I've heard dad talk about it.
Anyway. That was the first experience. And yes, it was beautiful. My Truck Stop is a plate full of hash browns, eggs, meat of your choice (I usually choose none, but like the bacon), cheese, and onions. They cook it on the big grill and pile it together, cut it up and pile it on your plate. So it's all together. You also get 2 pieces of toast coated in that yummy lard/butter stuff they use in diners.
The sexy thing about Town Topic is that it could be like the first time every time. I love that.
After me an Natalie hit up town topic, I kept telling people about it. I of course couldn't remember the name of what we ate (Truck Stop) and lovingly called it a Hay Stack.
So - last night went in and ordered the regular, One Truck Stop with onions and sausage (natalie), One Hay Stack with onions and bacon (me), and then two coffees and two waters.
Our mouth waters while we wait for our delicacies. I drink up the coffee because it tastes like the best coffee I've ever had. [let me note, this is probably our most sober visit!] We get our plates and go to work like it's our full time job. I have never finished a full plate. Never. Natalie has done it once, I was so amazed. So we made it our business to actually finish both our plates. And we did! I didn't think I could do it - but I really powered through. I finished it and all the toast. It was fing phenomenal! I know I shouldn't be proud, but I am. I also don't think I'll have to eat for a week.

Salute to Town Topic and the best late night food I've ever experienced!

It's a girl....

Here she is! She doesn't have a name yet. Here are some possibilities: Flower, Daisy, Sunflower (sunny)
I'm really not close to choosing a name, although I think she probably needs one. If you have a suggestion, please email or comment!!

BTW - Maggie was so excited for her to come home, but hers is not so excited about Maggie. It's getting better - a little time and I'm sure they'll be best friends.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to the longest crush I've ever had....






Jack Black - picture from The Holiday

F You, Ms. Steen

I am one of the lucky few teachers I know to have a SmartBoard in their classroom. It's an amazing piece of technology. I use it daily. For those not in the know, a Smartboard is just like a big screen in the front of my classroom. It has a projector and is hooked up to my computer. Anything I do on my computer can be seen on the Smartboard. I can also write on the Smartboard - so it can double as a chalk board or white board. Very exciting. Well......even though the Smartboard is off, if you touch it, it affects my computer - and thus comes your first full fledged stupid kid story.

It's 1:04 the bell rings for 4th block to start. I go in to start the kids on bellwork for Math. I love teaching Math. And today, I had already decided that I would let them go to the computer lab and play math games if there were anywhere near decent.
I have to get on my computer to take attendance. It is a chore that has to be done at the beginning of every hour, in the first 15 minutes. I walk behind my desk and there's a message for me on my desktop. It says "Fuck You" in bright lime green. I catch my breath, because I know exactly who it is and this kid isn't one of my overwhelming 'bad' ones. I ask the class to raise their hand if they touched the Smartboard in anyway. A few were like, "I was over here but I did..." So I looked at my para, handed out some worksheets and asked the stupid kid to go into the hallway. And I proceeded to 'walk and talk'. (That is what I do when you're going to the principals office and you don't know it). So I asked him if he knew that whatever we wrote on the Smartboard showed up on my computer screen. He of course said NO. I asked him what he wrote on the Smartboard and we talked about the obscene language and that I took offense to it because it seemed like this message was for me. He was very quiet, but did say he didn't know. We got to the Principal's office and I had her tell him the consequences of this - but that this time would be a warning. Because I do believe he didn't know that it went on my screen. And he's a kid that would never say FU to me or call me a b to my face. Behind my back and for attention from other kids - it's a whole other story.
I've really got to start bringing my camera to work for precious moments like these.

$$

For the first time in my life, I know exactly how much money I actually have. It's shameful, I know. But an accomplishment all in itself.

Addition

Keep your eyes on my blog, there is going to be a new addition to my household this week!! Meow!

Art is all in the eye of the beholder.

And - Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

After visiting the Nelson Art Gallery, it's interesting to see what people think is art. I really like impressionism, but have respect for all kinds of art. I really like to look at it all. Some of it is so odd though. I am always intrigued at first Fridays (which is held on the first Friday of the month in the art/crossroads district of KC, all the galleries are open to go through). There's always one gallery with a pile of trash in it and it's supposed to be art. It's always funny to go through some of them and think - I could do that. I could frame a dried pea and someone would pay $800 for that. But maybe that is what makes art so wonderful and necessary.
I absolutely had the best day going to the Nelson, maybe it was the company, maybe it was doing something different or maybe the combination of both.

GRUNTS...

Well, today sucked for me. Just no fun at all. I could not figure out why until I was talking to another teacher and she pointed it all out. Sixth Graders. I can't stand these little baby sixth graders. After a week of repeating and practicing they still cannot follow my classroom expectations. I understand that after they played and watched movies all last year, that it might be hard to follow expectations. But it gets so annoying. And then I have no patience. And we all know where that goes....or do we? Has anyone ever really seen me loose my patience?

My funny story for the day: I have a student who will ask to do something and when I respond he grunts at me.
Example: "Ms. Steen, can I use one of my passes and go to the bathroom?" "No, the bell will ring in about 6 minutes and you can use your passing time to go." "UGHHHHGH."
"Student will you please finish your math work sheet?" "UGHSHHH"

So after about 50 of these grunts, I have many more examples. I decided that when he asked me a question, I would just grunt at him. So, he shouted out (without raising his hand) some question. And I grunted. He continued to ask me, so I continued to grunt. Regardless, he didn't grunt for the rest of the day, so my weird way, maybe even wrong to some of you, dealing with him - worked! It's okay to think outside the box. As a special ed teacher - some times I HAVE to.

So anyway - tomorrow I am going to get a new student. He's an 8th grader and will just wonderfully fit in with my immature 6th graders....(smell the sarcasm, folks).
Thank God tomorrow is Friday!

Do you want the good news or the bad news???

The good news is:



This is a flower in my top 'pond'. I just saw it today after school and had to take a picture. I think it is so pretty. How many people have flowering lilypads in their yard???!!!

And the bad news....




Somewhere at the beginning of school (when it was still adults) I got impetigo. Yes, that is impetigo. Disgusting, eh? I thought that was a old time disease, not something people got today. You have to have skin on skin contact to get it. So unless you've been rubbing my left arm - you won't have it. Although the treatment is just some antibiotics and cream. So disgusting. All I can do is stare at it and shake my head with disgust. And think, 'god, those people with diseases are dirty and disgusting. they really need to take care of themselves.' And then I wake up and realize that it happened to me. I'm not dirty, nor disgusting....at least not right now.

Anyway - enjoy, have a good week.

First day of School

Tomorrow is the first day of school with students. It's pretty exciting. I'm overwhelmed by all the work that needs to still be completed - but it'll be fine. This is my 5th year teaching with a certificate (I taught before without one at a private school). It's my 3rd year at Center Middle and the longest job I've ever held. I don't really see myself leaving soon, unless 'the ship starts to sink'.

I'm basically ready for my new kiddos. I've got a whole new crew this year. I'm excited for the new start. I think it'll be a good one.

Anyway - I just wanted to get some of my thoughts down, so I can look back at them later. When I remember to bring my camera to school, I will take pics of my classroom so everyone can admire my handy work.

Good luck to everyone who's also starting school tomorrow or in the very near future. I hope this year is nothing like last year!!!

Back to work

I went back to work today. I had to be up and out of the house by 7:45AM. I was actually up around 6:15 and had plenty of time to get ready. It was actually a good day. I found myself to be really happy back to work. I think I like having something to get up for. Plus, it's nice to spend the day with friends. I work with a really great team of people. They make the time very worth while.

The students are back on the 15th and it looks like we are going to get out of school May 21, granted we don't have any snow days.

Cell Phones

If you look at the title, you might think that this is a rant about people and cell phones. Well, it's not. I do want to say that I don't believe a cell phone be your only means of calling someone, or your only means of finding a phone number. I believe this because today I accidentally washed my cell phone, deleting and ruining my phone. If anyone remembers, this is the second one I've dropped in water, and the second time I've deleted all my numbers. I wasn't able to revive my cute pink phone, so now I'm toting a old black phone that I got from Natalie (thank God she had it). It's a very manly phone...but it cost me nothing and I'm able to talk and communicate with people.
Anyhow, email me with phone numbers for those that read this: bonniesteen@mail.com

The House....

All right, here are some pics of my new house with stuff in it. I will post them and make comments below the picture. I'm truly in love with this house. It is going to be a good home. I've had a lot of people come by and everyone seems to be very impressed.


This is 8725 Sleepy Hollow, picture taken from the street.


Once you come through the front door, this is what you see. It is my living room/dining room. Maggie thought she should be in the picture. Isn't she the cutest. She loves it here, although I think she misses being able to go in and out as she pleases. Since we have A/C, we don't do that here.


Here is the kitchen looking from the living room/dining room. While the kitchen is small - it is much more efficient than my last one. I will cook a lot in there.


Another picture of the kitchen from standing in it. You can see my enormous fridge and then the entry to the laundry room and back door.


Here's my little laundry area right off the kitchen.


This is the back door. I wanted to put a picture in because of the stained glass looking window in it. It is a key to what's out back. BTW -that window is not glass, it's plexi-glass. But it looks for real, I was certainly surprised when I touched it and it wasn't real stained glass.



This is the view from the back door. You can see my little patio out back and the koi ponds in the yard.



This is my shed. They previous owner left a lawnmower, shovels, rakes, wheel barrow, and all kinds of stuff in there. I didn't have to buy any yard stuff at all!!



This is a picture of the koi - or the fish, as I call them. Everyone is always surprised that there are fish in there. There are quite a few actually and a lot of baby fish.

That's all the pics I am going to share for now. I'll have pics of the bedrooms as they come to fruition. Right now they are a crazy mess because I haven't touched them.

Happy Thursday to everyone. It's not a happy thursday for me because I had wanted to go to Minneapolis this weekend to see my cousin, and I'm not going to get to. Not because of the bridge tragedy, but because the salon won't let me off the hook. Lot's of people have asked about my cousin up there and I've heard from her and her and everyone she knows is fine. But it is a tragedy and we should think strong thoughts for everyone up there, it's going to take a while to find all the people in the wreckage and clean up the debris.

Personality Profile

Happy Friday!

Just wanted to say happy Friday and a good weekend to everyone. I will be traveling up to South Dakota for a family reunion. I'm not as excited as I should be, I'm quite sure that is directly related to me buying and moving into a house this week. I promise that next week you'll have a virtual tour.

Have a fantastic weekend!

Update

Just a short update for those of you wondering how the move went. It was very successful. Everything is in my house - all is good. I love it here. I will have pictures very, very soon. Thanks for all the positive thoughts and support. I needed it.

Funny story....

So, you know we won the high five - well all the celebratory drinking caused me quite the hang over this morning. I decided that I'd go get my car and then "Wake up with the King!" So I go through the BK drive through (it was already past bfast :( ) I had Maggie in the car - the good looking guy at the drive through started asking me all these questions about her. Like "What kind of dog is that?" "What's it's name?" blah blah. So we had some nice conversation and then off my hung over ass went and chowed on a delicious Whopper. Well, I had my walk through at the house today and my parents came and went through it. My dad decided he wanted to go to BK for a late lunch. So I went with, just to talk and kind of feel out my parents for their reaction to the house and if they liked it and if they were as excited as I was. Well - I walk in, get a soda, and am distracted by someone waving at me. Yeah, the good looking drive through guy was waving at me. He was on break and eating. I was so embarrassed to be at BK again. I made up some kind of "my dad wanted to go here and I'm coming along" kinda excuse. I never go to BK - and now I was seen twice in one day. Embarrassing! I can't believe he recognized me. I feel like such a fatty.

Pre-homeowner

So, tomorrow I am going to be a home owner. I cannot wait to get pics of it and me with the keys opening the door. You know I will post them on here! I want you all to be part of it, even if you are far away. I can't wait. I'm so wired and psyched for it to come. I'm wishing it were here right now (although I'm not quite done packing). I'm just so excited.

I've been going by the house daily and taking people by it. The seller cleaned everything out of the fence line and it looks like a totally different house - so cute! He also did all the work he was asked to do. I am so thankful that I am moving into such a nice home at an affordable price. I'm so excited for the amenities that come with it that I haven't had in a year. Central air!! Dish washer!! Nice windows!! Back yard patio! Kitchen counters! Carpet! THE BATHROOM is normal!! I can't wait. I feel as if I've probably been waiting for this moment for my life.

Anyway - I will be signing the papers at 4pm tomorrow. Please think happy thoughts for me. My computer goes tomorrow night to the house, because Time Warner Cable is coming Tuesday morning (can't be with out the internet!!) We're moving all the light stuff tomorrow, and heavy stuff and boxes on Tuesday. Everything will be back in order and mass chaos Wednesday! I will be able to sit and type here in air conditioning. No more sweating at the computer. Speaking of - I'm hot and need to get out of this room..

YIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
It's happening.

High Five

ALL HANDS ON DECK! My team, consisting of Mary and I, won the competition! It was awesome - such a good time. I was nervous at the start when the MC started up, but once we got up there - it was easy and so much fun. We did win the $100 grand prize, but we had to forfeit that because Mary is married to one of the judges. I'm going to post the pics and try to write captions under them.


All Hands On Deck - reporting for duty


The judges


Reverse Wet. Mary and I had to stick our non dominate hand into warm water and then do a high five. I actually think we had a mulligan on this one - means the first one didn't go so well - but the second one was better. It was a lot harder than we thought it would be.


The high 10 (this is actually a lot harder than you think...)


Around the World - made famous by the movie Top Gun
We placed first in this category



Freestyle. Our freestyle routine was good. This is a picture of part of it where we bump butts.


We had good communication - this is Mary asking me if I'm ready or her telling me we kicked high five butt.


Here's us right after winning - that is the money they gave us before we knew we had to give it back.

We were very surprised by the win. Cris (Mary's husband, and judge - one in the priest costume) made us sign an agreement that we wouldn't be disappointed if we didn't win. But we ended up kicking some high fivin' butt.

Good Morning....

My 30 year old out-of-shape body does not like waking up on the couch (this is why I bought it a new bed, which comes Thursday at my new house). Last night was no different than any other. I woke up a million times, let the dog out, went to the bathroom, drank some milk etc. But when I woke up this morning and went to go to the bathroom, there was a dead squirrel in front of my bathroom door. My dog, Maggie, isn't a killer - this squirrel would have had to been already dead. SO - my dog brought in an already dead squirrel and put it in front of the bathroom. Thankfully, she placed it dead-center on a mat that I had there, so I folded it up like a little squirrel wonton and pushed it outside with a broom. ECK!! Of course I called my mom and she talked me through the whole process - but ECK! I welcome anyone elses dead animal in house stories to make me feel better.

Good Morning!

House update

I drove by today and everything looked fantastic! He had cleared out the fenceline and it looked like other things were being done as well. This was so exciting and made everything even more a reality. Looks like I will be fully moved out by Tuesday and in my new house!! I can't wait.

Also - tomorrow night I am competing in a high-five contest. That's right, high-five. The slap hands kind. I am competing with Mary. We have really cooked up a great freestyle. It's gonna be a blast. I hope to remember my camera so there will be pics to display on Sunday. If anyone is in the area and would like to come and see what the funs about - and cheer me on: It's at 75th St. Brewery at 10ish (get there early for a seat and some good food). Mary and I's team name is: All Hands on Deck. We will be dressed in our Sailor Whites...... It'll be a good time - and good beer (the brewer is Mary's husband). Call if you have questions.

That's what I'm waiting for....

Modest Mouse in 15 days.

Continuation and explanation of yesterdays thoughts:

As many of you know, my thoughts seem to snow ball. I have one thought (usually the real problem), then one on top of that one, and then another on top of that one and so on and so forth. My first thoughts are usually: I need to pack more boxes, I don't know how I'm going to get all this done, I don't know if the house is going to be ready to close and I've already done everything (utilities etc.). My second thoughts are about not having enough people to move, having room for all my stuff etc. My third thoughts are usually I want this, that and then more stuff. My next thoughts are with all the new stuff, this would be a good time to change parts of my life. I'm not living the way I want to be. I understand it's a journey - but there's a goal and I'd like to make it there. I know what I want to do, just don't want to fail...etc. Then usually about this time I go on overload, stop and start it all over again.
The reality is that I need to take one moment at a time and not worry so much about the future. I don't do well with change and I'm trying to look at all this positively because it's another chapter opened in my life. Being a homeowner is a big deal to me. I also look at it as a new beginning. Another chance. While it's scary, it's very empowering to know I'm doing this all by myself. My thought process usually goes something like this: If I can do this, then I can manage my money. If I can do this, then I can stay away from eating out or going to the bar. If I can do this, then I can get up every morning and walk before work. If I can do this, then I can keep my house clean and neat. If I can do this, then I can go to the market every weekend and buy veggies and fruit. If I can do this, then I can let go of some of my crutches. If I can do this, then....and on and on and on. So maybe, now you can see some of my thoughts of things I want to change. Since change is coming, then why not now? I understand the probability of making lots of changes at once and know that I would be setting myself up for failure. But in time, I could do it - all because I bought this house.
I never, in any of my minds, thought that this would be an empowering process. But in the end, I believe it will be - even though I am scared and am need of lots of support. Everything will turn out the way it's supposed to be - that I know.

Insane in the membrane...

Here's some personal thoughts. I just needed to get them out. I haven't really had much conversation with anyone in depth about my thoughts and feelings with the house. It's hard to have conversations like that, cuz sometimes I'm just not real sure people care enough to have them until I'm all stressed out and crazy. I don't want to get to that point.

This whole house stuff is making me anxious. I am not for sure of anything and that sucks. So, most of the time I think about that. The rest of the time I'm thinking about what life will be like when I do have the house and am moved into it. Because life needs to change. I hate change, but sometimes it's necessary. I'm doing pretty well about staying calm on the outside and acting calm (for the most part). I just want to fast forward to the part where I'm moved in and unpacking and getting settled. But I know I'm going to have to actually go through and deal with all this and in the end it will be fine and everything will turn out the way it's supposed to - it always does. (BTW-that's my mantra for life) Anyway - I just needed to get a few things out before they burst out (no one needs that...).

Does anyone think it's crazy that I want to change my life around once I officially buy this house? There are so many things I'd like to do, add and eliminate.

It's just too many thoughts and tough times with change and the anxiety of becoming a house owner. I so wish I wasn't doing this alone. But it's okay that I am.

Bib, anyone?

So, this is what happens when I try to eat a gyro and tater tots at Max's Auto diner. The gyro was so good that I was running the paper surrounding it through the ketchup and then it was going straight onto my shirt every time I took a bite. I got it quite good before I realized that this was happening. Thank god I didn't have to go to some formal or high-level meeting afterwards. I just went home and changed my shirt and went about my errands. But it was too funny not to take a pic and share it with everyone else - just in case anyone else is having a day like I am.

I truly believe some days are meant to just not answer the phone or even crawl out of bed. I made the most of it today - but this morning was really a kicker. I'm not used to that much drama in one morning. I'd elaborate, but it's not worth it.

House update- he still hasn't done a single thing on the house.

Harry Potter

Tonight I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I loved it. However there are those who don't love Harry Potter. It's weird because people are never in between, either you love it, or you hate it. Much like the Opera.
I also read the books (previous to seeing the movie). They are fantastic as well.
I'm not going to ruin the movie for anyone - but I wanted to share a new realization with you. What I realized tonight is that I have a huge crush on Snape. I think it's his bad boy looks, but he's really a good guy. This comes out way more in the book than the movie - but I really have a tiny girl crush on this guy. I really like the way he talks.

House Update: Everything is set for me to close on the 23rd of July. I am concerned that none of the work has been started on the house. Until I know differently, I'm just going to go on packing and pretending like I'm going to move in a week. Everything else has come through - I'm sure this will as well.

Have a great week!!

Random exciting thoughts from my head

I realized yesterday that this summer is almost over. I have officially like 3 weeks left and then it's back into work. I don't know how ready I am for that. Getting the summers off, it's a bonus and a curse!!

So today is Friday the 13th. I'm not very superstitious, so it's just another day. I more look at it like I look at blue moons and celebrate the fact it comes around every once in a while.

75th Street Brewery, a place everyone knows I love, has a great new beer on tap. It's called Twisted Whit. It's spicy and very yummy! It'll only last a week or less, so everyone should try to go have one before next Thursday or Friday.

Besides the house buying, my life is very boring. But I feel like the house buying is excitement enough. Maggie has taken a self portrait that signifies our life. I'm going to share it with you.



I hope you enjoy. She is the cutest. I pack and hang around the house and she lays outside in the sun. Very exciting. I am thinking about getting her a sister - just another little dog to play with. I'm going to wait until I really see what kind of shape the fence is in. I have a feeling there will be lots of holes and I'll need to patch them before I get another dog.

Well...I need to move on and pack a few more boxes today. Have a fantastic Friday!

10 things

So Kodi tagged me to write 10 things that people don't know about me. I was surprised to see I was first on the list. But I never turn down the challenge so here goes:

1. I only remember a few things about my childhood. The memories are like pictures in my brain. I really wish I was one of those people who remembered everything in vivid detail. At this point in life, I can't even recall some events in undergrad.

2. I don't talk about it, but I want a relationship - someone that will just love me for me - I want it more than anything else in this world. (selfish, I know)

3. One of the things I most enjoy is a really nice click pen, or a brand new sharpie. There's just nothing like it. I also like the smell of rubber cement.

4. I've gained 50 lbs. in the last two years and I hate myself for it.

5. I like Indian cuisine.

6. I have been keeping the fortunes from fortune cookies because I thought they would make good greetings cards. My plan was to tape them on the front of a card and send them if the fortune was right for the time.

7. I turned down a job right out of school to take a lesser paying job doing about the same thing. I didn't realize that working for the public school they would stretch out my hourly wage, whereas the other place was hour for hour and all year round residential facility. I still feel dumb - but everything happens for a reason. In addition to that, since they were both essentially the same job, I think I would have ended up doing what I'm doing today anyhow - like I was always meant to be on this path.

8. I am going to be in a high 5 (yes the slapping hands kind) on the 21st of July at 75th St. Brewery. I refuse to tell people my teams name because I am that competitive. The really ironic thing is, we can't even win because I'm on a team with a judges wife. competitive much?

9. While it has been slow coming, only recently have I noticed how much I've matured in the last two years.

10. I currently live in an old house and have to sit in an unconditioned room to write these blogs. So when I write blogs, it really does include my sweat and tears.

Okay - there ya go. I even gave more than one answer for some, so you got more than 10 for the price of 10. Love discounts. I tried to be real with my answers rather than just write stuff. I tried to get a little deeper than normal, give you more of my oddities.

All right, Alicia - you've been tagged because I don't know of anyone else who reads this blog as religiously as you do (kodi's already done it). Give me 10 things I might now know about you....good luck!

Big News..

The seller agreed to fix everything and it still looks like I'll be moving during the week of the 23rd! I finally got that call yesterday afternoon. Pretty exciting times!

The Inspection....

The inspection:

Well, as any 70 + year old house there are problems. And big ones. Here's the ones that pop out at me:

1). The electric service feeder wire is too low. It's about 7 feet, and needs to be minimum of 10 feet.
2). The wire from the house to the pole appears to be 60 AMP wire not the required 100AMP. The Main Breaker is 100AMPS. The wire will catch on fire before it trips the main breaker.
3). The AC unit is not cooling.
4). Gutters are leaking in rear of house and missing in the front. Trees are growing out of the gutters.
5). There is a hole in the attic on North side approx. 4 inches with no cover-perfect for birds, squirrels & other critters to enter attic.

That's just a sprinkling of the things in my inspection report. My realtor sent back an unacceptable conditions sheet to the seller's realtor and added 1-3 of the above onto the contract. The gutters were already in the contract. The hole isn't, but I figured I can fix that somehow, right when I move in.

We haven't heard from the seller's realtor yet about my additions. But my realtor sent me new listings - so much for optimism.

It's such an emotional roller coaster. I won't know how to feel until the seller gets back to my realtor. Everything so far has worked out - maybe this will to and he'll fix everything and get the house off his hands. I don't think he'll find a buyer without fixing it. In the meantime - I've got to figure out whether I tell my landlord - or don't tell my landlord. I have no idea of when I'll be moving. I don't want to pay for a full month, if I'm not going to be here. I don't have the money to pay for a full month, so if I am going to have to - I have to find some. You'd think since I've got that second job that I would have some money coming in - but I haven't been paid for my salon job yet - and am not sure when I will. NO one can give me straight answers. AND when I complained, they just said, well think of it this way - when you do get paid, it'll be a nice paycheck - yes...and a little too late.
So anyway - I'm spending Sunday with my dog. I'm not really in the mood to deal with people or get dressed to do anything. So I figured Maggie and I could clean up the house and go on a walk...stuff like that.

Inspection

Today is the inspection for my new house. This is the defining moment where some guy just comes in and says, sure you can live here or no ya can't until.... Pretty scary. I'm anxious to see what he says about the hot water heater (20 yr old) and the furnace (19 yr old and in the attic). I really, really hope all goes well. And if it does, the scary thing is that I will be moving into this house by the end of July. WHOA! I can't even imagine it. It's so exciting - central air, dishwasher, bigger bathroom - so many reasons to be excited about moving into a new place. I wish my place was automatically packed into boxes and ready to go.

Anyway, happy friday!!

Independence

Fourth of July is such a funny holiday. Here's my version of 4th of July: fried chicken, potato salad, beer, apple pie, ice cream, and fireworks. Nothing about independence, or freedom. Nothing about the people that wrote the Declaration of Independence. Just food, drink and fireworks. And that is exactly what my 4th was like. Had a great time. So I say to all the men that signed the Declaration of Independence and risked their lives, most of them losing it: "Rock on, Dudes. Thanks for the day off and the excellent opportunity to blow my hand off."

House update: I was unsure of my house status on Tuesday. That was a little scary, but I dealt with it. Today I got a call that really made my month. My realtor called and said that everything was a go and everything was fantastic. So I headed to my loan officer and gave her my life's paperwork for the last three years. Tomorrow I am going to have the inspection done. Very exciting! Looks like I'll be moving in around the end of July if the inspection goes well.

FU-RBF

Only me......

So me and my brother are on our way to a rockin' ska concert with Less Than Jake and Reel Big Fish. I bought these tickets a while back because I've never seen Reel Big Fish and I have always wanted to. We stopped by Westport Flea Market for some brew and burgers with the 'rents. Great times. We figured we'd head to the concert about 8 because it started at 6:30 and there were two bands in front of Less than Jake and Reel Big Fish. We get there and Eric (brother) gets out the tickets - the tickets are to Modest Mouse, which was another show we're going to see, but in August. So, shit. We drive back to my house, get the right tickets and then drive back to the concert. We get there about 9 - and Less Than Jake starts up after a little bit. I'm thinking - 'yeah this rocks, good timing - even with the ticket ordeal'. So we rock out to Less Than Jake, who are good, but not great. By the time they are over, I'm stoked to see Reel Big Fish. Like I'm gonna move up and party with the 12 year olds. So during the set change we go back and sit down in the seats (it was at Uptown for those in the know). All of a sudden they are shooing everyone out of the auditorium. So we go out and the lead singer to Reel Big Fish is doing autographs. Cool, yeah. So we stand around wondering why they are making everyone leave the auditorium. We stood for like 15 minutes. Then finally, we went and asked an event lady, and she was like "They played out of order, Reel Big Fish already went." I was irate. I mean WTF...I spent around 80 bucks on tickets specifically to see Reel Big Fish. I'm so mad about it right now. It sucks. RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Home Sweet Home

Now you can see a little of what I saw all last week. I am finally home. The drive was excruciating - but we lived. The week was wonderful! I was surprised that I didn't really get homesick. I just really had a good time.




Here's my friends walking on a trail at Clingman's Dome. This was before Shannon fell..poor girl. Previous to this trail we had hiked a paved path at an incline for 1/2 a mile. The trail you see us on above was 2.5 miles back to our car.




This is me at the brewery where we went out to eat. The beers were good, food delicious. A very enjoyable time, except for me spilling the beer. But there is no reason to cry over spilled beer.

Anyway - just wanted to give you a little peek at my vacation. It was a good time. I'm glad to be back. I'm going to get moving on the house stuff. I have to go see my loan person and I'm getting the house inspected on Friday at 2.

House

Here's a link to the MLS listing for the house I am in the process of buying.



8725 Sleepy Hollow

or you can cut and paste: http://www.heartlandmlsweb.com/Reports.asp?CMAID=7146446&T=10:47&Tmp=mp

Try that, maybe it'll work, maybe it won't. Regardless, if it actually goes through, I'll put up some pics when/if it goes through.

Wed/Thurs

Wednesday

Today I finally felt the pain of sleeping on a pull out couch. My lower back hurt when I tumbled out of bed. I hobbled around for an hour or so. We decided to go White Water Rafting today. I was all about it, but not overly excited – in my rafting experience, it’s never as exciting as you think it’s going to be. It’s very comparable to floating in MO, but on a big raft. And I was right. That is exactly how it was. Parts of it we’re fun and exciting, but the rest was just rolling along on a big raft with a weird helmet on and a paddle in my hand sitting on the side of a blow up boat. Regardless it was fun, someday I’d like to go to a level 4-5, or 5-6 river and try that with some experienced people, I think I would be pretty good at this sport.

Thursday.

Today is exciting because I get to go lay by the pool, and get some sun on my legs. We are also going out to eat! I’m very excited. I don’t know that we’ll go where I want to go (Smokey Mountain Brewery) but regardless, it’ll be a good time.

Well, we did end up going to the Brewery - which was fantastic. The food was great and not so expensive. I had a 5 oz. off all their beers on tap - they had 8. They were all pretty good beers. Everyone else really liked their light beer - had absolutely no aftertaste. I really liked their Pale Ale. It was smoothe and bitter.
AND now for my soapbox- pub mats or coasters are important. Generally when a beer or beverage is brought to you it is in a cold glass and it sweats. So they are important to soak up the sweat, if you will. Sometimes the bartender is busy or absentminded and overpours the beer, getting the glass all wet. Also another reason for the pub mat. It would help soak up the beer coming down the side of your glass. It also would help if the waiter would wipe it off a little. Now, I'm not trying to blame anyone for me spilling the almost entirety of my pint of beer all over the table and friends last night. But I know in my heart, that if I would have had a pub mat-that the beer never would have spilled.

I also got some fantastic pics of myself - it's on someone elses camera - but I'll get them, they are really great! Which you all know I don't say that often.

Update on the house - well...I've spent $12 in faxing now. I'm getting the house for 89,900 with everything I wanted fixed and done and a home warrenty.
I'll try to find a link to it so I can post it on here and you can check it out. It's a little two bedroom, stucco in a nice neighborhood.

Smokey Mountains - Tuesday

This morning we packed up and headed for the mountains....

We went at just the perfect time. Our first visit was to an informational building. It had a museum, a theatre with an informational video and park rangers to help you out. I decided at this place that it's a possibility that I could marry a park ranger and live in one of America's great national parks. There are some cute park rangers. Anyhow, we decided our destination would be the Clineman's Tower (?). Anyway it's the 3rd highest place in the eastern US. We got there, made the LONG climb up and finally made it to the tower part and climbed up it. It was absolutely beautiful. Breathtaking scenery. I have pictures - but someone forgot to pack the cord that allows the pictures to go from the camera to the computer. Shame on whomever packed me. I was really looking forward to posting photos with my blogs.
Anyway, a minute into our decent we come across a trail marker that says Appalachian Trail. I look at the map and deduce that we can take it and end up in the same place while not travelling the road most taken. So we do. It was quite the hike, a lot of rocks and slippery places. Shannon fell, but she's okay - that was our only crisis on the trail. A few miles later we ended up right in the parking lot we needed to be! The pics are going to be awesome - anyone know where the Radio Shack is in Pigeon Forge, TN???? We had a great picnic lunch. I had bought some cold fried chicken to bring along and some chips. It was YUM-O!
Anyway - I'm just chillin' now. It's Andrew's (Shannon's boyfriend) night to cook and I heard it was going to be something mexican.

Update on the house situation - They agreed to everything I asked for on the offer, but wanted 900 bucks more. I went ahead and agreed to that, because it's still not a bad deal. I'm going to be a homeowner soon! If everything goes through the way it is supposed to, and so far it has, I will have the keys on July 23rd. :D

Pigeon Forge, TN - monday

If I was in Branson, I wouldn't know any different. There is so much tourist stuff here. There are hills though - which they call the Smokey Mountains. They are beautiful and I love looking out and seeing the fog hang amongst them. We are going tomorrow morning. We are going to do some hiking and hang out in the mountains. I bought a picnic to have at lunch. Since it seems to rain in the afternoon, we'll probably be back at the timeshare (from now on, apartment). I can get wifi in the indoor pool room. I wish it was in the apartment. Right now I am sitting here - alone in the indoor pool - it's kinda odd and uncomfortable.
So far all we've done is drive (all night saturday until sunday around 11AM), at breakfast buffet with the timeshare selling people, and play in the pool. It's been fabulous. I've read half of Angels and Demons. I plan to read the other half tonight. I brought so many books to read!! I can't wait to read them all.
OH, I've also finished of a 12 pack of PBR. It was all the beer I brought...
Which reminds me of a dream I had last night. I have to blog it-it's so funny. In the dream I hung out with a guy named Barry - he resembled a mutual friend, Tim, also known as the Dr. My name in the dream was Beer. So I guess we'd just sit around and get drunk and call people. Someone we called was like - I knew it was Barry and Beer.... I got all offended, it was the first time I knew of that people called me 'beer'. Anyway - so the dream went on like that - just me and Barry hanging out, drinking. Although, in the dream I was never drunk.
Maure, Alicia and Kodi - I hope ya'll had good birthdays! I believe the 30's are the best! I'm bound and determined to prove myself right!
Over and out - from the PF TN pool room.

Vacation, beverages, and boys

I'm going on vacation Saturday. My friends have a time share in Pigeon Forge, TN and we're going there and staying for a week. I will get to go to the Great Smokey Mtn. National Park. There is also a pool at the place. I went to the library to get some books to read, and my mom gave me her laptop to use. (I'm very excited about this - thanks mom!!) So I just have to pack and get everything ready and I'm good to go. I can't believe I'll be gone for a week though. That is a very long time for me to be gone. It makes me feel anxious. I really don't like to be cut off from my world. I understand the benefits of it and how it can really help calm a person down, but in my case, I think it makes me more stressed out. Thus the need for computer and cell phone.
Here's a new thing about me I bet no one would ever have guessed - I drank a few beers last night, and by a few, I mean a few too many - had a nice buzz going. BUT I didn't like the buzz. weird. Is my love for too much beer breaking up with me? Am I going to become one of those people that can sit and just enjoy a few beers? This makes me feel old - and mature. Do not doubt, I'll be giving it another college girl go to see if this was just a one night thing, or if it's true.
I don't have any boy stories - I just thought the title was witty. Someday - I'll have more boy stories. But not today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! to everyone who has a birthday this weekend! Especially Alicia and Kodi! Love you guys!

Deep thoughts...

The whole reason in writing this blog is to record how much I value friendships, where that value came from and that the journey to find your true friends is a journey we all make.
__________________________________________________________________________________

I evaluate the friendships in my life at least once a year. When I was younger, I called this taking out the trash. The reason for this term was because over the course of jobs or boyfriends or time I would hold on to a friendship that was toxic. Sometimes during these evaluations I would notice that the friend was toxic and I needed to probably lessen the amount of time I spent with them.
We all have toxic friends. Maybe not so much now that we're older, but we have all had, at points in time, toxic friends. For me, usually its friends of friends or a bad boyfriend or a co-worker. They usually encourage me to do things I don't necessarily want to or they encourage a lifestyle I don't want either. And for some reason or another, I've let them (remember the younger part....).
Here's an example (4 years ago). I was friends with this girl at work. We went out a lot, she was friends with the 'boy'. But she wasn't all that fun. She often ran around by herself, leaving you to fend for yourself. She talked about me behind my back. Spread rumors at the school we worked at. Cornered me and asked about personal info that wasn't any of her business.
She wasn't a good friend.
Another example(1-4 years ago). This one is more tricky. But I lived with two other girls in a house in north kc. We were great friends. These were my best friends at the time. (red flag) We went out 4-5 times a week. We all worked together. Played together. Went camping together. It was a rock star life-style. But remember that red flag?! I moved out into my own house closer to work a year ago. I've talked to one of the girls a few time, went to see her once, went out for her birthday. The other girl I talked to her twice, she came down with me to visit my bro, and we partied together for our other friends bday. And that's all she wrote. I haven't heard from either of them since right before my birthday, 2007. Sad, but okay.

I think that the friendships you make in college are the most important. I also have a best friend from middle school and one from high school that are important. But that first year in college when you are on your own trying to find your nitch - those are the friends that I still have. They are the friends that know everything and love me anyway. They are the ones I want to hang out with. They make me laugh and make me feel good about myself. That is a true friend. Those are the friendships that I treasure. I also like my new friendships - but they hold no candle to those friendships I've made and maintained since the first year of college (12 years ago).

Cheers to those that know everything and love me anyway - without you, I wouldn't be.

I got a new haircut!!

I'm not very photogenic, but I wanted to show off my new 'do'! I was finally able to get some services done at PB! It's the whole reason I wanted a job there. I paid $70 for highlights and cut!! I know it's short, compared to what I had, but it'll grow in no time. Overall I'm pretty happy with it. I haven't done it yet, and I'm sure it'll look better then. But it's fun and new! I needed that. Check out my red shiny face!! It's hot in the computer room!

Yard Sales

I had my first ever yard sale today. Besides the hot weather and no breeze, it was great. We sold a majority of our stuff. There were three girls in on it and we each made about $70! Awesome!
I could only do this once a year. And I would want it to be on a cooler day, if possible. I hadn't been that sweaty and dirty in a loong time.
I did learn a few things. Watch who you sell what to. Don't sell a full size bed to a lady with a mini-van. The box-springs don't fit and you will have to tie it to the roof of her car, only to have her drive around the block, come back, and deposit the box springs in your front yard. She said someone would pick them up in an hour (1:30 PM) It's now 12:04 AM and the box-spring is still there!
Other than that, we had no obstacles except for the weather. It was soooo hot! While drinking vodka and tab in the middle of the day sounds like a good idea - it's probably not the best idea. It sure peps a person up though. Mary says it makes her feel like a princess. It just makes me feel fantastic, princess - not so much, but fantastic, YES!
After the day, I would say that I would do this again, but only once a year. AND I would definitely not drink till 2:30 AM the night before and be up by six AM and at Walmart at 6:20AM the morning of - but that's just future advice. On that note - I better go to bed before I fall asleep typing - it's been a long last two days. Sleep is much needed!

The summer job.

Well, I had my second day at PB and it was MUCH better. People were a lot friendlier and I just had a better time overall. I didn't mess up much, but did a variety of things I didn't get to do last time. Besides the standing - I think it's going to work out.

I think I'm getting close to choosing a house. I think I could probably do it on Saturday, but I'm having a garage sale...so maybe on the 23rd. Then I get to start the fun process of being accepting and getting the loan finalized etc. Pretty exciting. I hope it all goes smoothly when things start happening.

I'm supposed to go on vacation the last week of June. While I'm looking forward to it, at the same time I'd like to just stay and get the house thing done. I guess we'll have to see what happens.

the drivel that spews

So. I'm out of touch because I went out of town, came back and worked a new job, and have now convinced myself that I am sick.

Friday - Friday night I spent out with friends. I went to the Slavic Festival in Sugar Creek. Sugar Creek is always guaranteed a good people watching time. It's not that the people are any different - they are just something else. Kansas City is funny that way. Very predictable. If I go to a festival in Lee's Summit, I'm going to see families, mostly white. If I go to something down at Crown Center, I'm going to see all kinds of people, very diversified! Sugar Creek, you get your 'white trash' people who live in Independence but have formed this sort of militia and called it Sugar Creek. They have their own police and everything. Moving on - the first thing I do at this festival is use the facilities. Porta-potties - love 'em! (not). Anyway, it was a little dark in there and of course I didn't notice that the lid was down (since when do porta potties have lids? Of course I'd already started my business (#1) and in the struggle of all things, I ended up doing some business on my pants. I thought we were going to have to leave. But my friend said that you couldn't see it and so we got me a beer STAT and went on about the night. Which ended up being a really good time!

Saturday - Went to Columbia to see my brother. Good times. Drank too much of course. The best part of the trip was that I got to visit with A and J and see their kiddo D. I miss you guys!

Sunday - Trained for my new job. Here's how this went down. I got a call on Friday that they would like me to train on Sunday. Then I had to ask at the end of the convo, 'when do I come in?' (Funny lady forgot to tell me) She said, "Around 12:30." So I got to PB (Premiere Beauty) and the girl behind the counter was like, "I didn't know whether you were coming in." HUH. It was 12:30 on the dot. HUH.
There were no papers to sign, no W2's to fill out, no manager to train me. I was to stand behind here and have this girl train me for the next SIX hours. Yes, 6 hours. You read that right. Let's run this down: I'm hungover, go into work, stand for 6 hours straight and listen to a girl that takes her job WAY to seriously. When I left at 6:30 I never wanted to go back. I had to go back in on Monday for some product training (everyone had to) and so I bought some stuff just to show myself that this job was worth it. My next day is Thursday. God help me. I'm giving it two weeks and if I still think it sucks and it's more trouble than it's worth - I'm out.

And now it's Tuesday - I went and looked at houses today and found 2 more to put in on my top few. One I really liked. So the house hunt is looking up!

Cheers.

Guest Services Coordinator

That's my new title for my new job! I'm going to work part time at Premiere Beauty. I'm pretty excited because I get discounts on all services which include facials, color, haircuts, massages, etc. Congrats to me!

wrap your head around this...

One of the most amazing things about buying a house for me is the fact that I have to make this decision on my own. I am totally deciding what house I want, what house suits me best, etc. It's really intimidating. It's hard sometimes to make a decision about dinner. So making a decision about what house to buy....yowzers.

I went and looked at 4 houses today. One of them was a house I'd already seen and liked. I still really like it more than any others. Although, some of the other houses have more to offer, such as a garage. I guess what stands out about the house I really like is that I can see myself in it and I really like where it's at. Some of the houses offer a lot, but I don't so much like where they are.

One of the houses has an attached garage, huge yard and back deck. But needs siding, new windows and carpet. If I could afford those things and did re-do it, it would be worth so much more money.

Another house, everything was cute - pretty small. Detached garage, nice porch. But I don't know...I didn't get the same feeling as I do with the Sleepy Hollow house (that's the one I really like and will refer to it as such from now on).

So I'm feeling overwhelmed. And I have to go look at more houses - so the pot will be more full of choices. Will I keep coming back to the Sleepy Hollow house, or will I actually find something that I like more? I do know I'm very attracted to houses that have been kept up and that seem to be new on the inside. I also like new windows. It's almost a must for me to have new windows. (probably because the house I live in now has windows from like that 1930's, originals.)

Anyway - I just want to keep track of the houses I go see and the feelings I have. I mainly am doing this for the friends that will come after me, so they can see what it's like to buy a house. But also for me, so when all is said and done with I have a record of all the stress it was to get to that place.

Cops on bikes

So I finally decided to get out of the house today. I decided to go to the gym and do the hard workout for this program I'm doing. I get in my car and here comes a bike cop.
Inner monologue: hmm...I wonder why there's cops on bikes in my neighborhood. I didn't even think they came that far south. Didn't I meet a bike cop once..I wish I could remember. Glance in review after he passes. Now he's doing circles, maybe he wants to talk to me, maybe he saw how I was going to go work out and was impressed...

Okay, so I move on and start toward the gym. In my review mirror I see these bike cops. Now, I'm not paranoid enough to think they are following me, but after two turns I think they are following me. But I just keep on my merry way. Then there's a squad car behind me. [Yeah.] So he pulls me over. (I KNOW!!) He comes up to the car with his hand on his gun. Maybe they have to do that sort of thing now, but it was scary. He asks for my license. I am soooo confused at this point. And then he asks, "Have you ever been arrested before?" [WHAT THE F@#$????] Of course I screwed up my face and was like 'NO'. Then one of the bike cops show up and says the others coming. The car cop asks me, "Did you see the cop on the bike try to get your attention?" I replied, "no, I saw him when I got in my car in front of my house but he went right past me." He probes, "What's your address?" So I tell him, it's not the same one on my drivers license...so I explain that. The other bike cop shows up. I apologize for not realizing they were really trying to get my attention. The car cop says, "It's okay, ma'am, they were there because someone broke into the house behind yours." I was like, OH. And then they let me go.


Only me. Only me.

BTW - I did go on to the gym and do my hard workout.

Chipotle

Tonight I stood in line for 2 hours to get free Chipotle. It was the best Chipotle I've ever eaten.

And we question why kids are the way they are...

So, I watched MTV Awards this morning and I have no further questions about why the teenagers of today are the way they are. MTV is geared toward pre-teens/teens/young adults. It consists of talk shows, cartoons, reality tv, and lastly - videos. Lots of sex, scantily dressed women, life made for the tv (which we know isn't REAL), sexually confusing people, and superstars that come from nothing and now have shiny grills.
The best kiss was awarded to Will Ferrel and Sasha Baron Coen. Fine - for me, but what is a 9 year old gonna think?? There was kissing and skin showing all over the MTV awards - it had a real gay overtone. Again - fine with me, I think that stuff is funny, but what about the 9 year old?

So, I guess it all boils down to the parents (as always) who the hell would let their kid watch this stuff? Maybe it's different in the suburbs and rural areas - I doubt it - but most of the parents of my kids are single mothers, they have to work, either the kid is a latchkey kid or watched by someone else. Our students see more than I do, tv/movie wise. And to further that, they get more action than I do. (and remember I teach 6-8th grade...) It's sickening. There's no one to blame or too many to blame and that's what I'm really looking for today...so I blame MTV and BET for that matter.

Buying a house is a full time job.

If I had a job, I would not be able to go through all this crap and meet people, call people, etc. This is really turning out to be a lot more stressful than I thought it would be. I've now consulted 3 Realtors and have talked to 3 mortgage people. I've gotten rid of one of the mortgage people and one of the Realtors. My whole basis was that they didn't feel right. I'm sure at some point it will all become clear that these are the people I'm supposed to work with and this is how buying a house is really supposed to be. If anyone has an opinion, I'd like to know whether going with a big bank or going with a mortgage title loan company is better? Which to choose? Which is better and why?

At this point, I think I've got to go with the better loan - no matter if it comes from the big bank or the little guy.

And furthermore, what sucks is that while I'm dickering around with these people there is the cutest house that I love on Sleepy Hollow just waiting for me to buy it.

ARGH.

mow or cut

Do you mow the lawn or cut the grass? I definitely mow the lawn. Of which, I did this morning. I can't tell you how fantastic it is to have all this time on my hands. I've really been using it well and getting stuff done. Love it! I'm going to have a garage sale soon. I have to. I've been going through every room and every box and deliberating - do I need this....? So I have piles of stuff, just ready for a garage sale.
Cheers to summer vaca! The best part of being a teacher: June and July (august doesn't count since we start on the 9th...)

Riddle me this

So, I have this old friend from high school and post undergrad. We were very close and still to this day have that sort of instant 'click'. He's an amazing man, I didn't realize this till after we went our separate ways. Recently, he contacted me to talk about a personal situation. I was honored and excited. Excited for the opportunity to be friends again. Excited to get to know each other again. Excited to have another person to explore and adventure with. We talked a few times, went to lunch and then...he really hasn't contacted me again. He's sent me a few emails in reply to emails I sent him.

Analysis of lunch:
The lunch was good. I was nervous and reflective. He was forthright and open. There were lulls in our conversation - I didn't think they were awkward (remember I was feeling reflective). We smiled and laughed. I would have rather had his lunch, than mine (normalities). He hugged me at the end.

Anyway - I can't figure out why it was important that we talk and then he dropped it. Which sucks because, I want to be there for him, and I was really excited about our renewed friendship - that now, looks doomed to be lost.

Sometimes, this is all I think about. Is it obvious I have a lot of time on my hands right now?

fine

I absolutely hate it when someone asks you how you are doing and doesn't really care. As people we're just supposed to answer fine and move on. Like our life is a formality. I really feel like if someone isn't expecting an honest answer, than don't ask.
Fine is such a trite word. If you don't care how someone really is or are just doing it for formalities, than don't ask. If you don't want people to know how you are doing, then express that.

"Hey, how are you doing?" asks the old friend with the long hair. "I don't really want to talk about it," replies the unrequited love.

Doesn't that sound much better than, "fine."

Anyhow, that's just my opinion and this is just my blog.

One is the lonliest number

alone
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from al all + one one
1 : separated from others : ISOLATED
2 : exclusive of anyone or anything else : ONLY
3 a : considered without reference to any other b : INCOMPARABLE, UNIQUE

As I delve into this house buying expedition, I feel more and more alone. As in the 1st definition. I feel more and more like it doesn't feel right, or I don't want to do it-alone. I have no qualms about the fact that I can do it. I can afford it. I can swing it. But, I don't want to. I don't want to buy a house on my own. I don't want to go through this entire process by myself. Am I being a baby? Maybe. Am I being selfish? Of course, we're talking about me being alone here...

The funny thing about the word alone is that it comes from two words; all and one. All has the connotation of many, lots and One is simply that, 1.

Anyway - I'm not trying to throw a pity party (my parties are usually much bigger) I just wanted to get out some frustrations I'm having at this moment.

As she stomped around her rented house, sweating, arms folded, she huffed "I don't want to buy a house. I just don't."

#1

#1 can mean so many things.

There's Nelly's song - #1, which has at many times in my life been my mantra.
Often people ask what I'm going to do without working all summer and my answer is "I'm gonna take care of #1."

And then on the other hand - there's so many #1's in our lives. There's the #1 song when we were born (mine was "Rich Girl" by Daryl Hall & John Oates). There's the #1 coffee (McDonalds-no really...). There's many different companies that think and advertise they are #1.

A #1 at Taco Bell is different from the #1 at McDonalds and Burger King.

There's the Top Ten on David Letterman....#1 is supposed to be the funniest.

When you win, you want to be #1, you want to win the gold medal, you want to be first.

#1 is on my mind a lot today. I'm trying to make it my job, my business if you will.
It's a lot harder than I thought. I am very used to catering to others and putting myself later. Not so easy to just rotate those rolls and put myself first and take care of myself first. It's my goal for the summer, so I guess I have all summer to work on it. Cheers to the #1.

tagit

Tag you're it!!!
The rules are: Once you have been tagged, you write a blog with ten, weird, random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end you choose 10 people to be tagged, list their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" and tell them to read your latest blog. Enjoy!!!!

1: I like to sleep on the couch.

2: I collect pub mats - you know coastersl that you put your beer on. I like to write on them to commemorate my time where ever I picked it up. I usually add everyones names, the date, and the place - and if it was a special event.

3: I am in the process of buying a house - it makes me kinda wiggidywack every morning, but I calm down after a while.

4: I took Maggie, my dog, to the vet today so they could remove the tick because I didn't want to.

5: I took piano lessons for ten years...but can't play much if you sit me down in front of the piano.

6: I still play the oboe. I'm in a community band now and the other oboe player is 81 years old! It's something I think I'll play forever.

7: I would like to teach the world not be be a victim. The victim mentality is what keeps poverty so popular in the US. It also puts up hurdles and obstacles that sometimes people don't feel like they can get over.

8: I think about my Grandpa and Grandma Barnes, a lot.

9: I still have dreams and aspirations.

10: These are kinda boring and dumb, but hopefully you learned a little more. If you read my blog from time to time - you know a lot more.

I tag: don't matter - do you.


You read it, you reply by making your own blog..

no vacancy

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

I was cleaning out my yahoo mail and found this quote.

I thought it was a good one and so I wanted to share. It really supports
my belief in having no regrets. I've really been doubting myself lately, thinking
'if I had just, or what if I had, or I should have...' Those kind of thoughts
really tear me up. As a person I have to stand for what I've decided and believe
in it. I don't always make smart decisions, actually I don't most of the time. But
I do make peace with my decisions because God knows, there is no room in my life for
two things:

1. regret and 2. grudges.

I don't know how to be free of either, but maybe putting up a no vacancy sign when those times come around would help...

Memorial Day

I have a new Memorial Day tradition and it is to go to the Celebration at the Station. The KC Symphony plays a 90 min. concert at the Union Station and then they play to fireworks. AMAZING!
It was such a good time and we had a good place to sit. I want to just meet up with everyone next year at the same place and then for years to come.
For those of you who think there is nothing to do in KC - think again. This city offers much more than anyone knows. There is so much to explore and so many festivals/arts stuff to go to. And really a lot of it doesn't have to cost a ton of money. I definitely spend more money at the bar on any given night, than I do going to a festival, paying to get in and then paying for whatever inside and having a better time! There is nothing better than being out amongst lots of people and having entertainment. I get tired of being the entertainment at the bar.....it's a nice change of pace when there's quality entertainment and people watching.

So for memorial day, I'm going to commemorate my freedom. My freedom to go and have a good time with friends and do something different and celebrate the awesome city that I live in.

I'm Back!

So sorry that I've been gone sooo long. Let me give you an outline of what's happening before I really get into it (any good teacher would...)

March
-Natalie's passion party (hosted by Mary and I)
-My 30th birthday
-Natalie's shower

April
-trying on bridesmaids dresses, getting all that sorted out
-Mary's 30th birthday
-Natalie's bachelorette party

May
-dumped phone in toilet, lost everything
-Natalie's wedding
-Mother's day
-Shannon's 30th birthday
-8th grade graduation
-buttloads of paperwork
-last day of school (25)
-Memorial day weekend events (Royals game, BBQ festival, Union Station)

I just did that by memory...so I know I missed some things....but you get the point, I've been a very very busy girl.

So today was the last day of school for this year. I cannot be happier. I'm so glad this year is over - it was just soo weird. I'm very much looking forward to my summer. I'm going to look into buying a house, get a part time job, work out, eat healthy, and enjoy myself. I'm not going to do anything I don't want to do. I might not even do anything for anyone but myself. Because that is how I feel it needs to be - all about #1.

Anyway - now that I have my password and username for this deal, I'll write a lot more...maybe even daily. I do have lots of interesting things to write and talk about. Lots of stories and good times to tell.

I'll leave you with this for tonight..."more cowbell"