2010 wrap up

I had a lot of events to blog about, but I don't think it's gonna happen.  So I figured, why not do my end of the year wrap up.  The last few years I have done a blog on the past year.  I would like to successfully say that I was really upset at the end of 2009, I was not happy with where my life was and what I was doing with, I have quite the opposite to say in 2010.
This year was quite possibly a turning point, new chapter, everything coming to fruition.  If you read this blog at all, you understand that I struggle with many things in life.  You also know that I will do whatever I need to do to figure out a solution. 
A few years ago I started a life transformation from a party girl (rather pretty word for alcoholic) to a functioning responsible adult.  I let go of the 12 hour happy hours, I stopped going out 3-5 nights a week, I started exercising, I started paying off my bills, I started feeling better, I even started looking better.  I still was at an unease last year - I was unfulfilled, jealous, and unhappy.  I continued on my journey through 2010, saw some light with the finances (and continue to do so), started playing a lot more active role in my life, gained some new interests, said yes to new and unique experiences, paid a lot more attention to what others could teach me.  I also took the summer to just enjoy being.  My bike had a lot to do with that.  Riding it is a lot like what I think freedom feels like.  Which is how I feel now - free.   I'm in a better place this year all around - emotionally, financially, physically. 
I decided for the next step, I would find adjectives to describe my life and how I want it.  Enjoy. 

sidebar - teaching

I have a list of events to write about, but I keep finding short 'in-the-moment' type things to blog.  I was looking for adjectives to describe the life I have/want tonight and found this. 

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors.  Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.

And I thought...this is what I do in my classroom, this is what I'm teaching everyday, this is what I strive to instill in my students, OMG I need this as a poster.  So I'm blogging it in hopes to make it a poster for my classroom.  

Invictus

I received the netflix dvd of Invictus and am currently watching it.  I want the world to know that the poem in which this movie bears the namesake, and Mandela recited while in prison is not by Mandela.  While a great man, a good many organizations, fraternities, individuals look to this poem for inspiration. 
"Invictus" is a short Victorian poem by the English poet William Ernest Henley (1849–1903).  He wrote it while in the hospital being treated for tuberculosis of the bone.  He lived at least another 25 + years after writing it. 
It's a powerful poem and reminds me a great deal of Kappa Kappa Psi, the honorary band fraternity I was in during college.  We recited this without even knowing all the background.  I'm happy to give it to you now. 

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

As a movie, it's all right.  Kind of boring - but that could be the pot of coffee I drank this morning.  I do enjoy watching Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela and Matt Damon's biceps.  

Winter Break, it's finally here!

I've never hurried out of work so fast at a long break as I did today.  I packed my car while the kids were at lunch.  I've never done that.  I don't quite feel the release yet, but I am so happy to not have to go to work tomorrow.  I think I'll start feeling the joy and bliss tomorrow.  At least I hope it comes fast and doesn't take all of break to get to that summer place. 
I have very little planned for my break.  Here's what I have done so far and have planned for myself:
12/22 - pay bills, go grocery shopping
12/23 - clean, finish Christmas shopping, wrap, make homemade cinnamon buns
12/24 - clean, watch tv, read, have family over, open presents
12/25 - cook a big Christmas dinner, play games with the family (I will make them dance)
12/26 - read, watch tv, lay around, enjoy the clean house, eat left overs
12/27 - decide if I am getting tires on the car or not
12/28 - lunch with a friend?
12/29 - lunch with a friend?
12/30 - girls movie day
12/31 - Maysville for the annual NYE get together
and nothing.  Of course, there will spontaneous days of stuff or evening get togethers.  As well as naps, and the gym.  Hope to make it to the gym almost everyday. 

I would also like to note in this blog that I've been sick for about 3 weeks.  This last week, my joints started aching - like arthritis.  It's been hard to really move around, lay around or do just about anything with comfort.  I went to the dr. on the 21st and got some antibiotics.  Hopefully it helps, I haven't felt much help since I started them last night.  Maybe tomorrow??  Plus I'm going to go to the gym and I think that will help some.  It really worries me that my body feels like this though.  The dr. said to hit up the rhuematologist if the joint pain doesn't go away after I am through the with antibiotics.  Lots of sleep, water and no stress!!  I think that will cure me more than anything. 

day after thoughts

My best friend, Brian, got married last night.  Here's my thoughts the day after. *disclaimer - this is NOT a blog about his wedding, that will come later with pictures.
-I have the best friends and family in the world.  They care, they love, they show concern, they take care of me, they love me at my worst and at my best - I don't think anyone can ask for anything better.  They fill my life, they are my life.
-I did not cry at this wedding.  I did enjoy it.  I did not get sad.  I did put all my feelings into worrying about what I looked like.  It's a weird realization, but even though I might have been annoying or vain about it - I'm glad that's where my feelings went instead of showing them.
-With no partner in crime or back-up, the need to find a mate becomes more desperate.  I hate desperate.  I also hate being the only single person. 
-I've lost 26 pounds in the last year just by changing my lifestyle.  However in the last few weeks I have eaten little to try and fit better in the dress.  I am very hungry for food.  I will be eating for the next 2 weeks.  I will also work out, but I am not going to watch my calories or amounts.  It will be bliss!!
-on that thought, the eating shall commence!!

ulgggggl

That is kind of the sound I have been making.  I've been so sick and in the house all weekend.  I take care of myself and as a teacher take all the necessary precautions, but it hit me hard this weekend.  I'm not sure if it was a virus or a sinus infection.  But I had a temperature and all my joints hurt.  I'm feeling much better today.  I've been drinking some mocha with dollops of whip cream - delish!  It makes me warm and happy. I've got to get better by next weekend, it's Brian's wedding.  I got the dress zipped that I had my heart set on wearing.  It's a gorgeous Alfred Angelo from Maure's wedding.  It's a little tight in the boobs, but it zipped and that was all I was hoping for.  I've still got 4 days to make it fit better.  I'm looking for a red sash/drape to put over my shoulders.  Anyway - my Bearcats lost in the semifinals.  It was really cold up in Duluth.  It made for some really slow football and 3 interceptions from the other team.  There will be next year. 

Hope everyone has a good week!  7.5 more days of work until my Winter Break!!  (6.5 for me since I had to take off for Brian's wedding) 

Animals of YouTube sing "Deck the Halls"

Thanksgiving 2010 - Plaza Lighting

Thanksgiving 2010

ing

listening: Glee Christmas CD - Love it, and love the show!
tasting:  dill pickle - just ate one for no reason at all
watching: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 (saw it for the 2nd time today)
reading: A Gateway Award nominee...
wearing: northwest sweatshirt and my favorite black pj type sweat pants
going: to address christmas cards and maybe write a little something in them if there's a good movie on

Thankfull

Tis the season, to be thankful.  Here's some more things I'm thankful for.

-good friends
-good family
-Rachel Ray, Tyler Florence, Bobby Flay, Paula Deen, Epicurious, Foodnetwork kitchens
-paying off my car
-PCCB
-my old, but renewed oboe
-a friends Christmas tree she gave me for a lunch (remember mine busted last year..hahah)
-my slanket
-Irish Cream & coffee
-Canadian Whiskey & ginger ale
-plans on Thanksgiving night (haven't had 'em in a few years)
-the hope and renewed sense of life the new year brings with it
-a new sweater that ironically is going to look great with the jewelry my momma just gave me.

Cheers to Thanksgiving!  May everyone's be as family and friend filled as I plan for mine to be. 

Thankfull

I looked back the last 3 years of November posts and no Thankful posts...so maybe it's time and fitting that I remember all the things I am thank-full for (life has been a bit dreary lately).
So here are some, in no particular order:
my family
true friends, my chosen family
hope
opportunities
Deathly Hallows Part 1
holidays full of family, friends, celebrations and games
the gym
smart advice
in advance, I'm thankful to the person who listens to me finally let go of all my recent thoughts
Northwest Missouri state playoff games

And while I'm sure I'm thankful for much more.  That's it for right now.
2 days this week and then a 5 day weekend. That is something to be thankful for!!

thoughts

What are your thoughts on career transitions?  What kind of career could a teacher transition to?  What are the odds that I'm even going to find something else?  Is it better to be miserable and have a good pay check or to be struggling happily with a smaller one?  I'd really love to have some opportunity come my way.  I will answer that door. 
Please be on the look out or have an ear out for the opportunity that I'm looking to come my way.  The more looks and ears I have the better my chances.  The universe has something else for me, I just know it.

today

just because I feel like telling someone.

woke up at 6 am
went to work at 7am
worked until 5 pm
came home
took a shower
did some multi-tasking:  worked, watched glee, made some awesome delish chicken soup with stuffing
and here we are now writing a blog to avoid doing more work and seemingly feeling lonely since all I want to do is tell someone about my damn day.

*sigh*

blessings

Almighty God, heavenly Father, you have blessed us with the joy and care of children: Give us calm strength and patient wisdom as we bring them up, that we may teach them to love whatever is just and true and good, following the example of our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

 

Thank you to Sarah Thomas for posting this on facebook, letting me read it and reminding me that every moment I have with my inner city youth is a moment that they should feel enriched and loved.  I can be a better model to the students regardless of whether I'm getting my paper job done or not.  I can be the change I want to see in the word regardless of whether the paperwork is finished in a timely matter.  I can be a person they can look up to and develop goals because of regardless of whether the GLE or DOK is written on the board.  I can be a good memory from their childhood regardless of whether attend that meeting or not.  

 

Soups

I think I've decided two things about cooking this winter.  1.  I need a dutch oven.  2.  I'm making soups and stoups this winter.  If anyone has good down home soup recipes or knows of good websites, email them my way.

Also, I got a lot of good deals this weekend which may result in a smaller social life for the next two weeks, but I now am a first time owner of a Columbia fleece, new asics for running and several other awesome buys - those were the two big ones.  It was definitely a good weekend for shopping.  I don't regret any buys! 

Thanksgiving is right around the corner - I'm thinking a mix of Tyler Florence, Ina Garten, and Rachel Ray - mostly Tyler. 

Oh, I hate day light savings.  Nothing makes me want to hibernate more than the sun going down at 5:30.  Boo.

boiling

Do this, You're not doing that, Don't do this, These are what you should have, Instructional activity is only when the teacher is actively engaged, every lesson should have informal and formal assessments, assessments are not instructional activity, differentiated instruction should be on the drop down box, you have to copy and paste all your curriculum into new forms so you have the drop down box, the human element, someone must do 6th grade math tutoring, it will be you, you should do it more than one day a week, no grades in for 2nd quarter, goal tracker, new lesson plans for this year, I don't teach the same thing every year, you need to rewrite this, i need to read everything you do, flippant, have your white notebook out so observers can look at it, word walls, don't tape anything up on the walls, can't always log into the student computers, keep a data log within your curriculum and on goal tracker, you are accountable for your caseload, be a successful case manager, is this on your radar, plp everything, update positive behavior support plans, goal tracker, rewrite curriculum, copy and paste so it has a drop down box, there's not enough teacher notes, differentiated instruction, dok, gle, activities, instructional activities, practice and homework, differentiated instruction, bell work, objective, goal tracker, reading plus, lexia, passkey, read 180, sometimes you can't log on to student computers, desks not tables, rewrite curriculum, assessments are not instructional activity, every lesson should have an assessment, engaged, advance organizers, similarities and differences, lecture, kinesthetic, auditory, visual, I am not visual, goal tracker, reds, do your own testing, 30 days - including days you don't see the child, 10 day suspensions, manifest destiny, manifestation determination, put the kids name with the parents name on nom, don't call reading resource reading resource, priorities, goal tracker, plp it, print off the draft, re do, rewrite your curriculum, is this on your radar, goal tracker, i'm auditory, differentiated instruction shouldn't be seen.

I want to

write something positive on here.  I really do.  I'm being bogged down by things I am not succeeding at and stuff that is not making me happy.  I know there are a lot of things I can do to make myself happy and a lot of things I can change so I'm being more successful.  God knows why we allow the crap to overshadow everything.  Maybe it's just me.  Regardless, I always have something to look forward to.  This week, it's Friday off, Wornall House tour and good friends coming over, Saturday is Band Alumni Day at Northwest, and Sunday is Halloween (not that I celebrate or give out candy).

in reference to: October 12, 2010

flippant: lacking proper respect or seriousness 

getting back on the right path

these activities make me utterly happy..

being active - biking, running, walking, playing
teaching (actually teaching, not doing paperwork - do not confuse the two)
cooking
traveling
coaching (both sports, and colleagues)
waking up early
drinking coffee
feeling calm
collaborating on a common goal
feeling like I have control of my time
being able to choose what I'm going to do
sharing and creating ideas

Of course I made this list thinking about a new career path for myself.  What do you think????  Any suggestions on new careers?  Maybe some I don't know about since I've been in education for 8 years? I need some ideas of places to look for jobs and how to go about that.  For the right price and opportunity, I'd be willing to relocate so the jobs don't necessarily have to be in the KC area.  I know it's still early in the year, but one never knows when opportunity is going to come knocking.

Untitle

Several things...in no particular order.

I had a professional development day on Friday.  This allowed me to get home at the unusually early hour of 3:00pm.  It was gorgeous out.  I wanted to open up my front door and enjoy the breeze.  I hadn't had the front storm door put in yet, because I just figured I would pay someone to do it, so that it was done correctly.  But on Friday, I was impatient and decided I would just do it.  So, I texted Brian and he agreed to come help.  And off I went - installing my front storm door.  We struggled with putting in the screen/glass.  It just wasn't working.  He kept talking about what him and Sarah were doing that night (like taking a walk and stuff) and since the sun was getting lower in the sky I just told him to go and enjoy it.  My dad happened to call at that moment, he came over but was no help either, just yelled at me for no real reason.  So, then I ushered him out and told him and mom to have a nice dinner.  Then Eric came over...my personal superman.  He can fix anything.  So we drank beer and chatted while he figured out how to get the glass in, then put on my handle, and just finished up the door.  It ended up being an awesome night.

Saturday was the year anniversary of the house break-in.  I reflected on how many improvements I'd made to the house and how much safer I feel.  I put in two new doors with new hardware, 2 new storm doors (the front one has a deadbolt), got my alarm turned on, and for the safety of my health - I had laminate wood flooring put in most of the house.  It pretty much looks quite different than from when I bought it.  This year will be the year of painting - so the inside will transform into something totally different.  I am pretty proud of myself for my ability to keep up my yard and house and make improvements. 

Speaking of the house, I watch the show Hoarders.  When I watch Hoarders, I clean - like a mad woman.  I think it's just because I don't want to end up like that.  The beauty of the show is that they teach the people that they can change their lives, that they don't have to live like that.  Anyway - it's always a sure fire way of getting my house cleaned up, I just start watching that. 

Today I went for a bike ride down to the Plaza Art Fair with my good friend Carrie.  It was a cold Fall day here in KCMO.  The bike ride was awesome, the rosemary caramel latte I had from Latte Land was also awesome.  The weather was perfect for looking at art.  After the ride, Carrie and I went and picked up our Tour de BBQ schwag, even though we aren't going to be able to do the ride now.  The pick up was at Spin Pizza, so we ate lunch there - it was delicious.  I love that place.  Then Carrie suggested Peach Wave and that made the day PERFECT! 

I don't have vball practice tomorrow so I'm going to catch up on some paperwork, hopefully I'll feel better after that.  I'm being weighed down right now by impending deadlines and useless paperwork.  I'm sure there's a bit of this in every job, but I hope in my next one, there's a little less. 

made another decision

Decided today after 3 weeks of not being able to get to band practice (either because of time or emotional reasons) that I won't be joining the community band I play in until their next concert. 

This is how bad it is.  It's not because of volleyball.  It's the job, and the load of responsibilities that they have piled on this year.  It's more than any of us can successfully accomplish, coach or no coach.  I realized this at my weekly sped meeting today.  It's not just me. Unfortunately, it made me feel good.  But it also solidified my decision I made this weekend to find a new job next year. Along with many other things, and conversations.

Good things:
Volleyball - man, I have an awesome team this year.  It is the highlight of my life everyday.  I wish I could have everyone come see them - they fight so hard.

decisions

While it might be too early to make serious decisions, I have prematurely decided that I will have a new job next year.  I've also decided and declared that there will be new and different opportunities come my way.  I'm very much looking forward to the change.  If anyone has ideas, suggestions, or potential job opportunities, please comment or email me - bonniesteen@mail.com

In other news:
-my volleyball team is awesome this year.  We've had 2 games and have totally rocked it out.  Tomorrow is our first home game, I'm very much looking forward to it. 
-found out a Trader Joe's is coming in right by my house - within biking distance - and so I am going to get a basket for my bike and use it to travel for grocery shopping.
-next week is the last week for my CSA groceries.  I am really going to miss it.  I'm actually going to have to grocery shop now.
-I am already planning several trips for this year (remember I think in terms of school years not actual years) and am very excited.  Most of them involve my bike, which is even more exciting. 

same complaint, different year.

It takes a person of such strength, courage, patience, and work ethic to be both a volleyball coach of 37 girls and a special education teacher.  I feel most of the time I cannot be that superhero.  Something always lacks.  It's impossible to get all my paperwork done in my 30 minutes of plan time everyday when I'm being given most the transfer students whose paperwork has to be done in 30 days.  And a little lesson - 30 days is 30 days, saturdays/sundays/days off school - they all count.  Plus I have to give 10 days notice to parents prior to a meeting, and enough time to be able to schedule 2 meetings in case a student doesn't show up.  So best have that notice of meeting completed before the kid even enrolls.  And another lesson - I have to do all this sped paperwork AND district lesson plans (everything a reg ed teacher does) AND case manage and yet, I get paid the same.  It's a myth, a lie, a falsehood that special education teachers get paid more. 
I agree that I've chosen this path.  I also agree that I chose to accept the position of coach when it was offered to me.  I don't agree with the rising fact that I can't be a coach and a special education teacher on school time.  I HAVE to take work home or stay after our 2.5 hour volleyball practice. 
It's just the way it is.  I have to suck it up, or quit coaching.  It just really angers me that I feel almost forced to make that decision for next year.  I am already going to be written up for not getting my paperwork in 2 weeks ahead of time.  It makes me hate this year and this job.  There's got to be a way out....unfortunately, it will have to be somewhere else, doing something else.  It makes me sad.

generousity is abounding in my life.

My beautiful friend Jackie got married this weekend.  I had the wonderful opportunity of enjoying the celebration.  It was a beautiful day. 

I also used the trip as a convenient excuse to visit another good friend Shannon, and her husband Andrew and their new baby (about 6 weeks) Erik.  I enjoyed talking with Shannon (before she got married and we were both poor and single, we used to talk on the phone all the time, we had the best conversations!) and then holding Erik on Sunday - he was soo good and made the cutest noises.

Baking up to Friday night - I had plans to go with a friend to see The Producers at Starlight.  It was meant to be, because another teacher offered me 2 tickets to the show, 2 dinner tickets and a parking pass.  SCORE!  So we enjoyed dinner and a show - all for free.  It was a wonderful production from here in KC.   Talented people and of course the funny wit of The Producers made it a really enjoyable night.  The teacher that gave me all the free tix, actually ended up using her other two tickets for her and her husband, so we got to see them there and enjoy the show with them.  I felt so bad that she gave me their dinner tickets and parking pass.  But, at the time she didn't know she was going so I'm trying not to feel too bad about it.

On Saturday, before I drove up to Nehawka, NE, where the wedding was (at Slattery Vinyards) I shopped til I dropped.  Since I was going to the wedding alone, I thought I needed a new outfit.  Here's my reasoning for this: 1.  If you feel like you look good, your more confident, and 2. ya never know who your gonna meet at a wedding and I firmly believe in putting forth your best look on a first meeting.  So I went to Kohl's, hadn't been there in forever, and found a ton a great stuff on sale.  I bought the above shown items:  Dress (about $23, necklace $8, earrings (+2 others) $6,  a pair of sunglasses for $6....awesome deals!  I love the dress.  Plus it came with a very cool belt that I can use with other outfits.  I did some other shopping, which felt good although I'm sure in a few weeks, I'll wish I hadn't been so spendy.  However, in a few weeks when I don't have any money, I will at least be able to drink my dunkin' donuts french vanilla coffee in a really cute new coffee cup and think about all the things I could be doing had I not splurged on those things.  All this shopping was reasoned by finally getting my steps raise, although it's not a raise - just up to pay where I should be because we had a pay freeze for 2 years.  So I have a bit more every month.  I thought I should spend it on goodies for myself, rather than be sensible about it. 

Fast forward to Sunday afternoon, my mom called and said she'd treat me to a pedicure!  My toes look gorgeous.  Bright and purple-y.  It was such a nice spontaneous treat.  And so much fun to do with my momma. 

I really can't believe my good fortune of a weekend.  It was just the best.

hrmph

I'm overwhelmed, underwhelmed, too busy, bored, and not finding the balance in my life that I had this summer.

I'm missing the sincere happiness that I felt too.  This was my fear!  I've been working out everyday, thinking that will bring it all back into place, and it helps, but it doesn't do it all. 

Here's some good things going on:
-one of the 6th grade reading classes is falling into place
-volleyball is going to be exceptional
-I'm still working out everyday :) 
-my screen door rawks!  I love having it, can't wait for the front one.
-Fall is coming, I can feel it.
-tomorrow is a new day
-tomorrow is also payday

Glee Flash Mob in Kansas City

A new year

The school year of 2010-2011 has begun.  This year feels different.  My job is just my job.  My real passion right now lies within me.  I have had so much fun this summer evolving my lifestyle, and working on my own issues that I'm going to continue with that.  When your job is your passion and everything your life revolves around, it's hard to make yourself your passion.  I was kind of surprised as today crept up, no drama, no freaking out, no anxiety...it's just a job.  And what's even weirder (to me) is that I have no doubt that this year will be my most successful in all areas (paperwork, teaching, test scores, coaching...etc.).  I know that I will have everything done in a timely matter and that I will manage my time to get it done.  I also know that I will manage my time so that the areas of life that are important to me, working out, being active, making good choices when I eat, will happen successfully.  I was kind of concerned about keeping up my happiness level and keeping the low stress level. But after a day, I just know - it's a job.  There's nothing to stress about, because the important part of life is the life I've started to live.

Race for the Cure

 

The first memory I have of cancer is during my time at Mid Continent Council of Girl Scouts.  As a Membership Development Director, I managed somewhere around 300 ladies.  I don't remember names.  But I remember moments.  And I remember walking into a volunteers house, she was the kindest, honest, and genuine person, and I walked into her house on a visit after she had been diagnosed, been through some treatment and had a mastectomy.  I don't remember a lot of details, but I remember her strength and positive attitude.  It could be that I encountered cancer way before this, I just don't remember or didn't know, don't be offended.  There has been several other individuals in my life that have had cancer, their fight was strong.  I think it's always important to remember the fight, the strength, the amazing attitude.  It's humbling.

I am still pretty speechless about the event today.  There were so many people.  I really was pretty emotional for the beginning of it, I think because of the amount of people everyone was walking for.  One girl was walking for her self and she as only 27 years old.  It's really motivational to continue to keep myself in better health and be active, also to not let life pass me by.  

I think we'll try to have a team next year.  Please join - this is an experience everyone will want to have at least once in their lifetime.  KC raised over a million dollars today.

check this out.

I've been toying with the idea of doing a wordless blog for a year - just pictures.  What do you think? 

what is this?

I woke up today and immediately felt the imminent feeling of doom.  I no longer felt the easy going, what-am-I-gonna-do-today feeling.  Where did this come from?  Why am I feeling it?
I can only conclude that as time lessens before I go to work (which I'm not dreading, or fretting) that this feeling could get worse.  It's affecting everything.  My decisions are no longer made with the clarity of a substantial mind.  Everything feels shuffled around like I can't get ahold of it.
I'm unsure of whether I need to go to the gym or take a nap.  There's too much going on this weekend to allow me to feel this way.  I don't really get where the feelings are coming from, because work is work - I'm not worried about it.  I am preparing for it, but at this point, it's a no brainer for me.  So nothing to sweat, nothing to worry about, no reason for the feelings of imminent doom.

Storm door

So, I installed a storm door today on the back door of my house.  It was a challenging task.  I was initially unsure that I could do it myself.  Then I watched about a dozen how-to videos and read a few articles, and thought - that looks relatively easy, I can do this myself and save about $100 bucks.
So this morning, bright and early, I woke up.  I made some agua de melon with my juicer and then got to work.  I pulled out all the pieces of the storm door and got the instructions all hung up then started with the first instruction, to put the zbar up and drill pilot holes (sounds like gibberish huh..), anyway it wasn't working.  The zbar wasn't fitting flush, it just wasn't working.  I hadn't been able to find the drill bits for my drill, so I decided to take a drive to Lowe's and get the bits.  On the way, I figured that I had to take off the molding for the door.  Then it would work.  Even though I found my bits when I got home and had to go back to Lowe's later to take those others back, I'm so glad I took the drive and figured it out.
I also figured out a few other things.  I'm very patient and look at all the angles to figure out the answer.  I follow all the directions.  I like to do things in the steps they are supposed to be done, unless something else makes better sense to me.  I'm more detail oriented than I used to be.  I am the most positive I have ever been.
There was only one thing that kinda went awry.  While I was trying to hold the door up and get the drill to screw in the pilot screw while holding the door, it fell.  The door fell.  It was one of those moments that happen in slo-mo.  I saw it falling, heard it, watched it - and just wanted for it to be finished falling.  I thanked god that the glass didn't break, propped the door back up and proceeded to try it over again, and over and over until finally I was able to put the drill in a place that was easy to grab and hold the door up with my foot.  Anyway - it all worked out, of course.  There's a dent.  And if I'm selling the house, that might not be a selling point, but it's a good memory.
I'm very proud of accomplishing the door hanging today.  I even got all the hardware on.  It looks fantastic and overall I'm very pleased with the outcome.
This summer has really been a summer of personal challenges.  I can say that I have leaped over all of them in big strides.  I'm happier than ever and have a more positive attitude than I ever have.  It's such a good place to be.  I'm so glad this is the path I chose to go down.  I know there are good things around every corner.



Here are a few pics.  My dad might have taught me to use a drill, but he sure didn't tell me how convenient it was to hold the bag of screws between my boobs! 

The door, minus the hardware.  This is right after I got it hung.  It looks fantastic with the hardware.  Will post a pick of that later.

wheat flour

This summer I decided to change a few more things about my every day diet that would be healthful for me.  Many of you know I had already quit drinking soda.  This has had a dramatic effect alone, I lost 10 pounds right of the bat and haven't put it back on.  I also decided to join a CSA - Grower's Alliance in which I get 2 bags of food (meat, veggies, fruit, milk & eggs) every week for $25 and it's all organic, and grown around here. All the meat I get is free of antibiotics and growth hormones.  Along with this, I decided to try and eliminate white sugar from my diet as well as white flour.  So at home, I've been successful.  Going out to eat, not so much - but I can choose not to go out to eat.  I found a delicious Wheat flour pancake recipe that I wanted to share. 

Wheat pancakes

Ingredients:
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 tablespoon common granulated sugar (I use honey instead of the sugar and just add about a tablespoon or 2 of it in the batter - I've been doing this consistently all summer with lots of recipes and it works really well)
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1 cup milk
2 tablespoons oil

I either spray a pan with pam or put a little bit of butter in it.  Heat it on medium.

Mix the flour, sugar/honey, baking powder and salt in one bowl.  In another bowl, mix the egg, add milk and 2 tablespoons of oil.  Mix the dry and wet ingredients together.  (Or if you are like me and don't like to dirty bowls, I mix the dry and then add in the wet and then mix it all together).
Then make your pancakes.  I add fruit to mine before frying.  I've done blueberries and banana - I think anything you like would work well (nuts too). 

I will probably make all recipes with wheat flour as time goes on and I use it even more.  The difference in taste is not extraordinarily different and it's better for me. 

The only other thing I've done is that while shopping I am very aware of the ingredients in anything I buy.  If I don't know what an ingredient is, I don't buy it - I look for the product with the fewest ingredients.  So far - so good.  It's really dramatically changed how I look at meat.  But Food Inc. did that and before that was Jillian's Metabolism book - so this really isn't new thinking for me. And if you haven't seen Food Inc., you should.  If you want a great read on nutrition, you should read Jillian Michael's Metabolism book.  Mine's loaned out right now and has a waiting line of 1, but I'm totally willing to share when it becomes available.

poison skin #2

Welcome back rash residing on the inside of my left wrist and between my middle and ring finger on my right hand.  Once again, it started as a red raised area and turned into little blisters.  The vinegar isn't working because the blisters haven't popped.  I refuse to pop them myself for fear of spreading it everywhere again.  I'll just keep trying to dry it out.  I hate this stuff. 
Just want to add the distinction on here - I don't really believe anymore this is#2, I think that it isn't poison ivy, that it's just an allergy to something.  When I put vinegar on the poison ivy it hurts, bad, but when I put vinegar on these open blisters - nothing.  It doesn't hurt.  So I've been adding some prescription cream to my routine to see if it helps at all.  So far...no.  This rash also doesn't have much color.  I think you'd have to be really observant or I would have to point it out to you to really see it.  I'm hoping it goes away soon - the heat really irritates it.  It doesn't hurt, or itch too much - more of a raised irritating, my-arm-is-gross-and-leaking feeling.

Summer Vacay 2010

I wasn't really going on summer vacation.  I was just going to go up and spend some time riding my bike in IA with my friend Carrie.  Usually, when I go and stay at peoples houses, it doesn't feel much like a vacation.  And actually, recently (in the last few years) have decided that I need to probably stay in a hotel when I go and visit places where friends reside.  It's a personal feeling that it is too stressful on the residing friend, and disappointing on my want-to-do-vacation-y-things self.  So, I did not have the feeling that I was going on vacation, I simply thought I would carrying out something I said I would do.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  Let me start at the beginning.  A slide show (my new way of doing pics on here, it's lazy and easy!) will be at the end.

I packed up and headed out early - I had several things to take care of before I actually started to head toward Carrie's house.  I needed to drop Maggie off at the vet (they board her), and then get some coffee along with a bag of coffee for Carrie's parents.  I had lots of thoughts as to what to get them, but this is such a nice and travel-able gift.  My car was full of gas and I was off to meet Carrie at her house.  Then we were on the road.  We only made a few stops prior to getting off I-29.  I wasn't really sure after getting of 29 where we were or how far we had to go.  Instead of getting gas at a Casey's that we stopped at, because I still had 1/4 of a tank left, I just kept traveling.  Well, it wasn't too long before my gas light came on.  I texted Carrie and told her we needed to stop before 40 miles.  I guess this was a problem.  There wasn't anything.  We did stop in this town of Melvin, IA.  Carrie pulled up to the old school looking pump.  I pulled next to her and said something like, "Are you serious?  I don't even know how to use this."  Anyway, lots of laughs ensued.  I tried to use my debit card, but I guess you needed a gas card???  It didn't work out so we made our way to Medford, IA.  In the end, I think I could have just made it to Carrie's parents house, but I'm glad we stopped and filled up when we did.  It was pretty funny.  I kept thinking - if I run out of gas, that will make for a great blog!  But I didn't, so you'll have to settle for something mediocre at best. 
Got some gas, traveled on to Carrie's parents house.  It was so nice to not be driving.  We sat and visited, unloaded our cars, and then prepared to head our for the night.  They had planned to drive around the 30 mile ride we would be riding the next day (BRASL - Bike Ride Around Spirit Lake) and then go to the theater.  We drove around it, I felt more confident after seeing the scenery.  I was pretty excited that it was all rural views and mostly on trails.  (I've never seen so many bike trails - it was awesome).  The community theater was fun.  It was a farce, and hilarious.  The actors were pretty good.  I was very impressed. 
We went home and prepared for the next day - it would be an early morning and then 30 miles on our bikes.  The longest either of us had rode.  I'm very thankful to my brother for loaning me his camelpack.  It came in very handy. 
The ride itself was awesome.  We were already 3 miles in before I realized the ride had actually started and we were on it.  I did my traditional exploration of shifting, which if I have paid for the ride, always results in the chain falling off while riding up a hill.  I got through that on mile 4 or 5 and then the rest of the ride was cake.  The views were beautiful.  They had lots of fruit and cookies at the rest stops - there were 2.  The hills were okay, not too intimidating.  I actually rode through a soybean/corn field (the trail went through there).  We rode around Loon Lake, which took us into Minnesota.  (so far I've ridden my biked in 4 states  - MO, KS, IA, MN)  The trail for the 30 mile bikers was not clearly marked so we lost some mileage - about 6 miles, but regardless, it's still the longest ride I've done.  I think we figured it was around 24 miles.  I would do the ride again.  Mostly, I would just go up there and ride.  The weather was beautiful, and perfect.  The view of midwest cornfields, soy bean fields, and lakes was awesome.  We had a great time. 
After the ride, we lounged for the day.  I normally read a lot on vacations, so this might have been the start of me feeling like I was on vacation.  I was comfortable enough to pull out my book and read it.  I don't think I was aware yet I was on vacation though.  It wasn't until probably the next day that I felt the relaxation and stress and world-on-my-shoulders feeling go away.  It was an actual realization, a moment, in which I realized I felt like I was on vacation.  This made me incredibly happy.  The rest of the time was wonderful, and full of fun times.  Carrie's parents were so easy going and fun to be around.    I am very grateful to them for all the wonderful food.  I also really enjoyed playing cards (canasta and golf).  They were just so much fun and so easy to be around.  I couldn't have asked for a better visit.  I definitely want to treat them to some Kansas City fun when they come down next. 
I had the best time and didn't want to leave Okoboji, IA.  I wanted to stay and ride my bike every morning for the rest of my life.  Alas, I can't make that happen yet.  So, I came back by way of Clarinda, IA and visited Shannon.  She is expecting and should be having a baby any day now.  Her and Andrew (husband) also bought a house, it was nice to see her, Andrew and the house (it's beautiful!).  But by mid-morning on Wednesday, I was ready to come home and see my Maggie.  I wish I could work it out where she just came with me on vacation. 
I made it home, but I really think I could have stayed the whole month out just wandering from place to place.  Who knows where I would have gone or ended up. 
Here's what I took away from my almost a week away:
-I am going to take Electra! on a vacation every year
-Carrie is an awesome friend (already knew this) with just as awesome parents/family
-I would like to own a place at Okoboji, even if it's just a shack
-The midwest is beautiful and very green (right now).
-Iowans make fun of you when you want to take pictures of yourself in the corn
-IF most of the food in the US comes from the midwest, we only eat corn, soybeans, cows, and chicken. 
-I am becoming more and more obsessed with the paranormal.
-I love small towns.
-playing cards is fun and should be done more often
-I want a laptop/ipad to take everywhere with me.
-I couldn't have picked a better road trip.  It was perfect!

My beautiful Mother and Michael Buble'

On June 13, my beautiful mother turned 60.  I felt there was a duty to celebrate this momentous occasion to the best of my ability.  I asked her for a list of folks she would invite to a birthday party, and the inviting ensued.  A handful of people ended up coming, I was not the best on timing.  But, several people came, important ones and even folks from Omaha that she knew came.  It was an awesome dinner celebration! 

 

I decided to go with a princess theme, not because my mom is a princess or anything like that, but because it was easy to find decorations for Birthday Queens.  And I thought it was fitting, and fun.  She wore here gear that I got for this picture, and quickly took it off.  My decorations were simple, some balloons, separate napkins and plates for the cake, and some maracas.  Mom is not over the top, so I didn't want it to be too over the top.  Mom did a shot of tequila, which is customary for her birthday.  She has the pics of that (I had broken my camera) and I haven't got them yet.  I did get a good before/after.  Someday, I will wrangle it from her.  Overall, we had a great time.  The family photo below was taken that night.  It's always great when we are all together. I have to mention that I couldn't have pulled this off without a last minute angels that gave us money to pay for the bill.  I am very thankful for their friendship to our family and wished they could have been there with us.                                                                                                                                       

For Mother's Day and her birthday, I (include Eric) got mom tickets

to Michael Buble'.  She didn't seem too excited at first when I told her about them.  Of course, I failed (on purpose) to tell her that we were sitting on the floor, 29 rows away from MB.

I knew that my mom would love this concert, and I would too.  I

did give her the opportunity to take dad, but of course she took me.  A friend of mine, Melody, came and went with us.  We ate at the movie theatre - only place with openings.  It was pretty good and nice and cool.  (it as a hot day)
We got to Sprint Center and I think mom was a little surprised to find out that we were on the floor, and so close to the stage.  (btw - I would not have been wearing that long black coverup had I not been covered with poison ivy).  Anyway - we were there nice and early, which I love, because I like to people watch.  It was fun to see all the other moms and daughters there.The first group that went on was Naturally 7.  They used their voices as instruments.  It was sooo cool.  Mom recorded some of it.  Maybe I can get that and attach it here sometime.  They were a great warm-up group.  Very impressive with their talents.  Both of us really enjoyed them.

After Naturally 7, MB came out.  I can't say enough about how awesome he was in concert.  The place was packed, but it seemed so intimate.  He was very good at finding balance between the talking and singing.  The absolute best part of the night was when he came into the crowd.  Sometime during a song, they had placed a movable stage right behind mom and I.  We never heard it.  We were trying to take pics of him coming down the aisle, I turned around and saw the stage and told mom to turn around.  Then we were pretty much serenaded by MB for a few songs.  It was awesome.  We were on cloud 9 after that.  I was so incredibly happy to have spent the money on the floor tickets.  It was just a real treat.  It was really fun to see mom so excited too.  At the end of the night, we both were really happy with the concert and going and had a blast.  I know that if he comes in the future we will go, and hopefully take the rest of the family, they would love it.  I would recommend his concert to anyone of any age.  Anyway - we had a great time, I'm closing this blog with pics from the concert - most are self explanatory.

poison skin

So, I decided to do a little yard work last week and ended up with poison something all over my body. The dr. called it contact dermatitis, because of course I have no idea what it is. It doesn't necessarily 'look' like poison ivy....it can't - it's everywhere. I'm on a steroid pack, and it's looking better, however I continue to get more and in new places. I will probably have to call the dr. I don't want to have this all summer. It's rather uncomfortable and makes me feel leperous. Also, it's on my face - although looking better - and I am scared to put any makeup on - so sans makeup everywhere I go. While I don't normally wear a lot of makeup - there are moments that I like to put my best looking foot forward...

Anyway - this is really just to remind myself later in life of when I had poison skin all summer and how bad it sucked.

a sick obsession

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but I'm really obsessed with the Twilight Saga. The obsession comes and goes, and when it's quiet - I'm barely thinking about it, however when it's loud - It's screaming, overtaking all my thoughts. It's been working it's way up to loud over the last month or two. Eclipse (the 3rd book) will be out in the theaters on the 30th of June. One weekend I was going to watch the first two movies and then read the 3rd book (again..). That never happened because I haven't allowed myself to buy New Moon (2nd book/movie) and I didn't find anyone that I could borrow it from (although I had offers, just bluray offers and those are no good to me). It finally took me and yesterday I just started the 3rd book and of course finished it. Nothing like sitting down and reading a 600 something page book in one setting. But that is how I like it... It's ridiculous how I smile and laugh and become one with this series. There is a showing here in KC for the opening night where they are going to show all three movies for the price of one. I've already considered this, and tried to find someone to join me. I think I'll have to experience this alone, which makes me sad - but I've made up my mind (I did weeks ago) and I am going to do it. I'm going to go see all three movies in the theater on the same night. I can't wait.

Granola

I made my own granola today and wanted to share the recipe. It would be a great recipe for kiddos, to help with and to eat. Remember that I am a cook that doesn't really measure (although I have measurements for you) and I also believe in making the recipe yours. So add what you want! I used honey in my recipe because I don't normally have syrup around. It worked out perfectly - I love the flava!

Basic Ingredients:
3 Cups Old fashioned oats
1 cup Almonds (add some other nuts if you want, cashews would be delish)
1/4 Cup brown sugar
1/4 Cup Maple syrup (or honey, or sorghum/molasses)
1/4 Cup Vegetable Oil (or conola, any light oil)
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 Cup raisins or dried fruit or chocolate chips, m&m's etc.

Heat your oven to 250
Combine the Oats/Nuts/Brown Sugar in one bowl, in another bowl combine the maple syrup, oil, salt - then put them all together and spread on a cookie sheet (or jelly roll pan, etc.). Cook for 1 hour and 15 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes
Remove it to a big bowl and add your extras - raisins, dried fruit etc.

I let it cool for a while, and then stirred it up again and let it cool more. Pretty much ate and stirred all night. It's now sitting in Tupperware. SOO delicious.

I would take a picture and make this blog really pretty - but I dropped my camera tonight and I think I broke it for good. I loved that camera, it's a very sad loss.

Summerfuntime list review

     So, I decided I should look at my list of things I wanted to do this summer and see where I'm at.  You can see that I have decided to save all the 'work' for later.  I had to save some things because of finances and others just because I've not had time to do them yet, and I know I will in June.  

That vacuum, even though it was more than I thought I could spend has really been worth the money!  I don't know if any readers/friends noticed, I love it.  

Tomorrow I start a new workout routine - gonna get up early and work out with Bethany, she lives around here so I can ride my bike to her house.  I'm excited to work out with a friend and do it in the morning.  I'm afraid of letting myself (and her) down by not going.  Because of this fear, I am sure I will go.  I love having a friend to do it with because it makes me accountable.  I can deal with letting myself down, but it's harder to see it in the face of others (mainly because I don't always look at my face).  Regardless of all that drivel, I'm very excited about this.  Right now, I'm holding myself to Mondays and Wednesdays.  If it's really fun and I like it, I'll include Fridays.  Maybe it will make me feel super cool and I'll also do something on Tuesday and Thursdays, like walk the dog or go to the gym.  We'll see.  I'm still scared, this has been something I've wanted and talked about for a long time (to work out in the morning) and I still have yet to jump the hurdle and do it.  I think it will happen, but only because of Bethany's support.  She's awesome!

I have to mow the yard today.  I'm being very procrastinating about it.  But it's gonna rain this week, so it has to be done today.  I swear, when and if I can, I will pay for a lawn mowing service or a new lawn mower.

I've listened to Kodi's music (on her blog) while writing this blog - I love it!!      

1.      Summer's here BBQ (already bbq'd this summer, will do more)
2.  front yard area - put in a little bird bath, plant some plants  (planted impatiens - sp?- yesterday)
3.  cut down bushes in front (done)
4.  re-do kitchen:  clean out everything, new spice holders, new dry goods holders, re-arrange (I've cleaned out everything and done some rearranging, but haven't bought new spice holders or canisters for dry goods)
5.  paint rooms: living room, bedroom
6.  pull carpet in bedrooms (officially taking this off, the new vacuum is amazing)
7.  cleanout fence on south side
8.  put new chainlink and possibly a few new posts in on south side
9.  paint trim in house
10.  get new carpet for bedrooms, or finish with flooring - undecided, probably depend on funds (no need with the awesome vacuum)
11.  buy and install storm doors
12.  put new weather strip on door
13.  get big rocks out of bottom pond
14.  replace big rocks
15.  in August go to Minneapolis for Maure and family and art show
16.  In July go to Okoboji for BRASL and boji fun
17.  spend lots of time with freeman bambino (still waiting for him to come, but I contact mom everyday)
18.  work out, ride my bike, take a swim, go to the lake (I have already had some good bike adventures and have ideas for more - I even rode my bike to the gym)
19.  throw my momma a birthday party (June 12, if you wanna come)
20.  Go to see Michael Buble (up close and personal like, if my mom takes me, they are her tickets).
21.  ride my bike in the morning to get coffee.
22.  Join CSA and learn to cook new organic veggies and meats (yes, and this was a fantastic decision!  I've gotten more meat than veggies!!  It's been awesome)
23.  Remember everyday I don't go out or pass up a social event is a day  closer to financial freedom and ultimate financial responsibility.
24.  Go see movies, particularly excited about Eclipse (saw Get Him to the Greek, funny Apatow movie)
25.  Meet some new people that do stuff I want to do also.

26. Hang out with April, because I know we would be good friends and have fun times.  (Wonders..does April have a bicycle?)

27. Visit with Kodi & Trai and meet Millie. (putting all traveling off til my next paycheck - June 25th, so sometime after that - start thinking about when)

free chick fil a and other reasons my life is fantastic

I took the payless shoes back.  They just weren't worth it.  Especially when my coworker reminded me that we had planned on  Friday lunch dates during summer school.  Food is so much more important.  Especially getting to try new places and lunch menus.  Although a really nice pair of shoes would be worth giving that up, these shoes were not 'really  nice', just cheap payless shoes. 
So I had a coupon for a free spicy sandwich from Chick-fil-A today.  It was not as spicy as I thought it would be.  Good, but I probably won't order it again.  My most favorite - and I've tried everything - is the grilled chicken deluxe sandwich.  YUM!  Their lemonade was particularly good today.  There was lots of pulp in mine, which I love, thus why I said it was particularly good.  I have plans to go work out and then go back for a free teacher meal (Carrie gave me TONS more coupons) with Brian.  Good times.  I don't normally eat so much fast food...I'm making an exception for Chick-fil-A because it's FREE yo! 
So my summer school experience is going to be good.  Small classes, easy curriculum.  I'm looking forward to it.  The hardest thing is going to be filling out the lesson plans which I will have the first 2 weeks done this weekend, if not more.  After that, really, it's just teaching.
 
Lots of good things, easy days, and summer dress wearin' going on.  I love it. 

2nd day of unofficial summer

Today I dedicated to a bike ride, but I also hung out at home, painted my front door frame, got some needed items at target, and bought 2 pairs of shoes at payless for work (although I might take them back - I really shouldn't have spent that 25 bucks). 

The bike ride was killer!  It was easy and fun.  I didn't work as hard as normal.  It was lovely.  We (Carrie and I) rode to Spin! Pizza and had a wonderful lunch - spinach salad and Margherita pizza.  Then we tooled around and came back toward Waldo and stopped at One More Cup and had a Toddy Shake, which was heaven!  Absolutely delish!  I can't wait to have another one. 

I love riding bikes, but will miss my friend Carrie as she goes on her own adventures for a month.  I'm looking for a new riding partner....thought I'd put an add on Craigslist....NOT.  Anyway - I am going to ask around and see if anyone is interested.  It's always so much more fun with someone else.  

And now I'm going to turn the air down and head to bed early so I can try to get to work on time tomorrow.  I'm looking forward to something to do, yet I will miss being able to make my own schedule.  But the extra money is nice and needed. 

Happy Friday everybody!

Today's Mantra was: Thinking about my desires and allowing them to go out into the universe.  Staying in the present moment and enjoying it, not letting obstacles get in the way of the moment.  (in bonnie speak anyway)

pictures of summer at my house

Learning to meditate

I'm working on a few things this summer to enhance myself and my life.  Meditating is one of those.  I'm using Deepak Chopra's website as a guide and daily meditations.  I really enjoy his books and his twitter so I figured I couldn't go wrong. If anyone else meditates and has some good resource (particularly free ones), let me know.

I slept in today and have indulged myself in a delicious breakfast of coffee, sourdough bread and an egg.  I am also watching the Ghost Hunters show, which is addicting.  So far, it's a lovely day.  I'm going to plant some basil and then maybe walk the dog or ride my bike or take a nap or read or watch twilight and then new moon and recycle my glass bottles or vacuum (did you know I love my new vacuum???). 

Life is good.  I love summer.  Today I am accepting every moment as it is because it is as it should be.

Last day of the school year and other summery items

Hallelujah!  I love the last day of school, just as much as the first day.  I love waving to the students as they leave on the buses.  I love the celebrations, the food, and getting the hell outta there to go have a beverage.  Normally I would be 10-12 drinks under, but this is a different year.  It could very well be my first sober end of the last day.  I did go for a celebration drink after school, but then went on to do more adultish responsible things.  I went to the eye doctor and instead of going back to the bar (where inevitably I would spend too much money, and drink way too much) I came home and vacuumed.  That's right.  I said that correctly, I vacuumed.  Instead of saving myself the going out money, I bought a vacuum this weekend.  The Bissell Cleanview Helix was onsale this weekend for $75, I did some research and decided that this vacuum could be the one for me.  I finally broke down and got it and haven't stopped vacuuming since.  I LOVE IT!  I don't think I've ever had a properly working vacuum until this one.  I feel that even if it broke down right now, I would have got $75 dollars worth.

There are two awesome things I love about it: 1.  the filters and canister are washable. This makes me feel so much cleaner, and probably IS cleaner, 2. it does everything - my wood floors, my carpets and has a great arm tool that allows me to reach the ceiling cobwebs.

Seriously, all I've done since I've put it together is vacuum.  I love it.  What's coming out of my carpet and floor is disgusting.  Totally sick.  I had no idea.  My bedroom floors look almost new.  It's only one step to get the pet hair up on my wood floor (before I was doing 3 - sweep, dry swiffer, wet swiffer).  Who knew my life would change so drastically that a vacuum would be more entertainment than spending the afternoon/evening at the bar?!?!!  I love it.  Some people would think it's crazy, but I am so excited about my life and future and maturity.  I love taking a step back and remembering where I came from.  Plus, it's really empowering to make your own decisions (in a past life I would just stay at the bar until the last person left).  I'm making a lot of my own decisions lately and they are such good decisions for me, always in my best interest.  I love it.  LOVE IT!

The best part about this school year was teaching reading and communication arts.  I had the best time.  The students were sooo successful, it made me very proud to see them being proud of themselves.  The worst part was all the drama.  These statements alone make me feel good about what I'm doing - I'm in the right place with the right attitude.

Cheers to sobriety, and cheers to clean floors (etc.), and cheers to doing absolutely nothing but what I want to do tomorrow!  Yay summer.

last day of school morning pic - don't my floors look so clean, love that vacuum.

btw - I think this is before I did my hair, or not - either way, yikes!

Memorial Weekend

Good Friends!  I enjoyed time in Maysville playing the flute in the community/school band for the Memorial Day celebration (most of us in the pic played).  We had a good ole cook out afterwards.

 Celebration at the Station.  I love that you can see all the people and the fancy tent that the Kansas City Symphony plays under.  This is my friend Stacy and me, with her son Alex to the left.  Good times!

the end

Even though I have 1 and a half days left of this school year, the graduation and recognition are over signifying the end.  Many people have asked me if this has been a rough year.  There isn't an easy answer to this question.  A lot of 'stuff' happened this year in our district, people were told they wouldn't have jobs, people resigned, people were bullied into resigning.  In my department there was drama and crazy, which have not left a good taste in my mouth. In my classroom, it's been wonderful and successful.  I couldn't have asked for a better position.  In special education, I have had an okay year - not showing my best improvement on paperwork, but not having any epic fails either. I'm hoping that after a month of teaching Science in Summer School and a month of doing nothing but what I want that I can begin to look forward to the next year.  But for now, I'm enjoying every last moment with the students, making sure they will miss me over the summer.   

couch to 5K

SIKE!  But let's talk about the couch.  I spend a fair amount of time watching television.  Monday night is a particular favorite.  I really like all the comedy sitcoms right in a row on my Channel 3.  It starts off with How I Met Your Mother.  I love this sitcom.  I love Neil Patrick Harris (love).  Then there's the show with David Spade - it's kinda a time filler.  Then 2.5 men is on, which I generally enjoy, but it's also kinda gotten boring.  Next, Big Bang Theory.  I love, love this show.  I love nerds and I had a big crush on Johnny Galecki when he was on Rosanne so it's a win-win show for me.  Then I normally watch Castle, but it's not on tonight.

So I decided to write about my gathering thoughts from this weekend that were put into perspective by tonight's season finale of How I Met Your Mother. 

I had a lot of thoughts, you all (my readers) probably thought I was bipolar this weekend.  But really, I was just utilizing my blog as a means to get some thoughts out.  I think a lot of being single and loneliness, it's enhanced with the recent engagement of my best guy friend, lack of social life, lack of social phone calls, and lack of money (obviously my life is LACKING).  So I sit around and think, or do yard work and think, or clean the house and think - some of you know what I'm talking about.  So first this weekend, I chose to write about the loneliness and then I did some positive thinking and wrote a positive, intuitive blog (or I like to think I did).  Anyway - that came prior to going over to engaged friends house and partaking in a bbq of friends.  While always a good time, I had a great conversation with another friend.  It's interesting how we are in totally different places in life, yet going through some of the same things -  at least the feelings are in the same spectrum.  But it got me thinking about how hard I'm working to make my life the best it's ever been, but yet I continually allow myself to be beaten down by the single and 33 factor.  I don't really know what it will take to get over that hump.  I won't step backward or settle, I've worked to hard to move forward and change my life for the better.  Which brings me back to the sitcoms, How I Met Your Mother, in particular.  Tonight's episode put everything into perspective for me.  I am not that person I was 5 years ago, 2 years ago, or even 6 months ago.  I'm my doppelganger, a more amazing me.