The whole reason in writing this blog is to record how much I value friendships, where that value came from and that the journey to find your true friends is a journey we all make.
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I evaluate the friendships in my life at least once a year. When I was younger, I called this taking out the trash. The reason for this term was because over the course of jobs or boyfriends or time I would hold on to a friendship that was toxic. Sometimes during these evaluations I would notice that the friend was toxic and I needed to probably lessen the amount of time I spent with them.
We all have toxic friends. Maybe not so much now that we're older, but we have all had, at points in time, toxic friends. For me, usually its friends of friends or a bad boyfriend or a co-worker. They usually encourage me to do things I don't necessarily want to or they encourage a lifestyle I don't want either. And for some reason or another, I've let them (remember the younger part....).
Here's an example (4 years ago). I was friends with this girl at work. We went out a lot, she was friends with the 'boy'. But she wasn't all that fun. She often ran around by herself, leaving you to fend for yourself. She talked about me behind my back. Spread rumors at the school we worked at. Cornered me and asked about personal info that wasn't any of her business.
She wasn't a good friend.
Another example(1-4 years ago). This one is more tricky. But I lived with two other girls in a house in north kc. We were great friends. These were my best friends at the time. (red flag) We went out 4-5 times a week. We all worked together. Played together. Went camping together. It was a rock star life-style. But remember that red flag?! I moved out into my own house closer to work a year ago. I've talked to one of the girls a few time, went to see her once, went out for her birthday. The other girl I talked to her twice, she came down with me to visit my bro, and we partied together for our other friends bday. And that's all she wrote. I haven't heard from either of them since right before my birthday, 2007. Sad, but okay.
I think that the friendships you make in college are the most important. I also have a best friend from middle school and one from high school that are important. But that first year in college when you are on your own trying to find your nitch - those are the friends that I still have. They are the friends that know everything and love me anyway. They are the ones I want to hang out with. They make me laugh and make me feel good about myself. That is a true friend. Those are the friendships that I treasure. I also like my new friendships - but they hold no candle to those friendships I've made and maintained since the first year of college (12 years ago).
Cheers to those that know everything and love me anyway - without you, I wouldn't be.
Home Sweet Home! by The Pioneer Woman
6 years ago
3 comments:
Holy crap! (I start like that alot!) For a brief minute I thought you were dumping me! :-) I did not meet you in college, but still love you for who you are.
Anyway, the other characteristic of a good friend is being able to pick right up where you left off. I love friends like that!
i know that i don't know everything about you, but that doesn't matter, b/c i've loved you since the day i met you and always will! i can still remember some of our times in middle school like it was yesterday. thank god for memories!
OMG - ladies, I would never dump either of you! Both of you are very important in my lives!! And Alicia - I so agree, the picking up is very important.
I was really referring to high school days and other times in my life (Derrick Thomas Academy) where I let myself be pushed around a little. I also distanced myself from my friends that I truly cared about. I think about that stuff every once in a while and thought it would be a good change of pace from my surface blogs I've been writing lately.
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