New Years Celebration: New Orleans

It's another really late night. I had to work until 8:30 then come home, eat, workout and return phone calls. I wanted to add some more of my fun trip. Sorry it's coming in such a choppy manner. Photo's then captions.


Jackson Square


Cafe Du Monde - this is where we ate beniets and drank coffee around 4 AM after new years eve


A brass band - we saw a few of these. This one I missed, but Brian got a picture. I was in the bathroom. I think we were around the Market - which was just a really cool outdoor market with lots of 'junk'. I bought an alligator head (small one) as my souvenir and named it Molly after my favorite bar in NO.


From the St. Louis Cemetery #1. Brian took this and then digitized it. I thought it turned out wonderful, beautiful. The tombs above ground were so weird. I was really intrigued to learn that they are all family tombs, and what happens is that after the person decomposes they just kind of push them to the back to make room for the next deceased in the family.


We went on a trolly ride to the Garden District (where all the big beautiful houses are). This is a self taken portrait. I will continue with the Garden District tour tomorrow and will definitely get to the actual New Years Eve photo's I know everyone is waiting for.

New Years Celebration

I found myself in New Orleans for New Years this year. I went with college friends, the same people I normally spend New Years with. It was a destination birthday party. I was really concerned about whether or not it would be a good time. I spoke to many people regarding my feelings. I kind of feel like I've been growing away from some of the people involved. When we all go out, I never get called - they always call Brian and usually Brian calls me to let me know (petty, I know). I just felt kinda out of the loop - also they are all coupled and I'm still single. I think the real deal is probably that they think I'm always busy - which they are pretty right. Plus my bestest is an old friend of the group that was outed a long time ago because for a period of time she had verbal diarrhea and said things aloud that probably didn't need to be said.
ANYWAY - back to New Orleans (NO). It was the best time. I really rocked it out. It was like a well prepared meal - not over done, but not underdone either.
I'm going to post some pictures - I'll put captions underneath. I have other pictures and will post those later. It's getting late, but I wanted to get some pics on here for my mom and others that might not see the pics till later.


Waiting in line at Mother's to get lunch! We had just gotten there.


Me at Muriel's where we went for our nice dinner. It was really wonderful!


There are so many more - I'm overwhelmed and just need to go to bed. I promise to post many more later and tell more stories. It was a really good time and I want to share that with you.

sneak peak

Got some new hair.....

Things I like about Christmas: Santa and presents

I know many of you don't believe in Santa, but he is real and if you believe in him, still at 30, he will bring you what you ask for - or just some really nice things. I was obviously on the good list this year. The picture will speak for itself.



Of course, you've got to have wonderful parents that do 'Santa's' work and still bring their 30 year old daughter presents from Santa. Eric was on the good list this year and got just what he asked for (tools)!

Christmas itself was fantastic. I made two meals - one breakfast (easy), and the second was glazed cornish game hens, braised vegetables, and potatoes a la Jaques Pepin (I might have that name wrong) Anyway - that WAS impressive and very good. I would much rather cook cornish game hen then turkey anyday!! Hint, for next thanksgiving. We played games, we played the Wii that Eric brought. It was a really good two days.

AND I got to see movies: The Dewey Cox Story, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, and Juno. All good and all very different. Can't even say which one I liked the most. I feel like I still have at least 6 more to go see that have come out recently.

Hope everyone had an enjoyable Christmas and that it found you on the nice list, rather than the naughty list.

Things I like about Christmas: Friends

This week has been packed with Christmas stuff - going to see Manheim Steamroller, going to the Magic of Christmas (kc symphony), and then yesterday spending the whole day with good friends! We went to the Boulevard Brewery and took the tour. It was really cool! After the tour of course, we got to try all the beers. It was excellent. The beers on tap and fresh are so different from the bottled beers. It was a really yummy experience. Here's some pics from that:





Then we went to eat at the Peanut, a local bar with good food. Then we hung around for a bit, went to see the movie Juno - which was cute. I really liked the movie - but with most things I wish I would have known something about it. I didn't really know whether to cry or clutch my ovaries. Overall, it's really, really cute and has the best message about finding someone that just loves you for you.
After the movie, we braved the bad roads once more (did I mention it sleeted and then snowed pretty much all day yesterday) and went to the Brick to see a really good lot of bands. We saw OK Jones (i might be wrong on that name), It's Over!, and ACB's. A REALLY AWESOME show!!!! All very good music. The bar was having a bad holiday sweater party. So I'm including a pic with me of my very ugly holiday sweater. The sweater itself actually was more like a valentine's sweater, but then Mary got at it and we turned it into a chrismassy sweater - just a little hotglue and some ribbon - wa la!

Enjoy! I certainly did!


Pat was pimping it in his very cool Kangol hat, so I had to play along.


BESTEST in their ugly sweaters!

Things I like about Christmas: Lights

I'm really a sucker for Christmas lights. I don't personally put them up - but I really like to go and look at houses. Right now, my favorite lights in KC are this row of houses called The Candy Cane Lane. I took some pics and wanted to share with you. I don't have any of the Plaza lights, which are most famous. I will share those at a later time.

Things I like about Christmas: Family

My brother gets in town tomorrow and for Christmas I bought my family tickets to see Manheim Steamroller. It used to be a family tradition that we would see them in Omaha every year at their Christmas concert on our way up to South Dakota. We have not done that for a long time. And when I heard they were coming here to KC, I thought it would be a great present. I think my family will enjoy it. Both of my parents were very surprised that Eric was going to be up for it (or that I got him to go), so that's an even more special treat.

My family tradition has always been to have Christmas on Christmas Eve. So these days we usually go to Denny's or somewhere that is quick and open, then come home and open presents, hang out etc. I used to go to 11:00pm services at a church, but I haven't done that for a few years. It'll definitely be something I want my kids to enjoy when they are growing up. I loved holding the candle and then when I got older I loved lighting stuff on fire with it.

While it is now a somewhat uneventful season for my family, I do enjoy the time we get to spend together. And since I didn't force anyone to play games because I took a nap, at Thanksgiving, I plan on forcing everyone to play games at Christmas.

Things I like about Christmas: My house

I decided in my last blog to start blogging ideas/pics/whatever that promoted a merry Christmas. So here's my start of all the things I like about Christmas. I decided to start with my house. I don't have a lot of decorations, but I really like the ones I have. Everything has meaning - and so that is what I am sharing with you today.

This first wreath is my attempt to be Martha Stewart. When I was younger I received these silver bells every year. I have like 13 of them and never a clue what to do with - so I decided I would put them on a wreath. I am going to add some simple garland after Christmas when everything is on sale.




This was a very special gift. My friend, Mary, made it for me. The specialness of it is in the garland - it's all wine corks. She's been doing this for a few years. I started my own collection of wine corks a few years ago and I hope to add to the wreath by making my own!




This is a combined pic - my stocking and Maggie's stocking (Maizey doesn't have one yet) and then my table with the new cover that I bought last night at K-mart.




My advent tree! I don't actually put candies in it, but it is fun to move the santa around and watch the time fly.





And finally, I love my hodge-podge tree. All the ornaments, except for the balls, mean something. I've got stories about students or about Girl Scouts. My tree looks a little charlie brown this year, I think a 7.5 footer would be better.

Santa

Christmas is coming and I'm trying to increase the cheer so that it is truly a Merry Christmas. Here's a photo I wanted to share.

RIP

With life comes death. A 15 year old died this weekend, shot in a driveway. No other details, just that he was dead and there wouldn't be a public funeral. He watched his dad die the same way when he was 8. He said many times that he was going to be just like his dad. There were days where he worked hard not to be, then days where he would spiral down to an existence of nothing. He would often go on these power trips where he was invincible - most middle schoolers do - on one of these days he threatened me in a serial killer kind of way. 'So you don't value your life, Ms. Steen' Just an excerpt of our conversation. I thought about that conversation for 24 hours before talking to anyone or reporting it. I reported it, not to save my life, but his. Little did I know - we failed him. He ran away, came back, went to a crappy school for kids with no where to go, ran away, came back, was awaiting someone to teach him homebound. Then he went to a party Saturday night, and was shot, in the head and found on the driveway.
In KC, especially where he was found, with death comes retribution. It will be had in all the wrong ways. I imagine another 15 year old will be shot.
We need to choose another retribution and start actually helping these kids before death happens. We're not doing enough pro-active actions if they are walking into malls and schools and shooting people for no other reason but to make a name for themselves in the end. To draw attention to the nothingness that they have become.
The world is in serious trouble. People need to wake up.

Tis' the Season

I just sat down to read the two blogs that I read on here - and I've missed so much! I won't let it lapse again!

Thanksgiving came and went. I always have high hopes for a holiday filled with family and fun and while I have that, it's never as big of an experience as I want it to be. I'm sure it's that way for everyone in my family though - not just me feeling that. I'm sure it will be different once Eric (my bro) gets out of school. I was very thankful to have the time off! I really needed it.

I'm pretty excited about winter break as well! It's just nice to not have to get up and go to work. It's not my favorite year. It's not really much fun so.....

I am somewhat excited about Christmas. It's kinda depressing at the same time, but I've got such great people around me, it's hard to be depressed all the time. I always have lots to look forward to. Currently I'm looking forward to the following things: Friday - taking the day off or having a snow day, Saturday - strong ale festival, NWMSU bearcats play on ESPN2, New Years in New Orleans, Spring Break in Mexico!

I'm sure there are other things, but those are the events I am most looking forward to right this moment.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hope everyone has a fun, safe and family filled Thanksgiving!

Short vent

I have one short vent that I need to get out there. I am really tired of selfish people. I understand we're all like that at some times - and that I've had my fair share of moments. But right now, I feel like in my everyday life, I am surrounded by selfish people. A friendship goes both ways - time for you and time for me. A really good rule of thumb is that for every time someone listens to you, listen to them. And if you have a really bad moment and spill out all over someone, make sure you're there for them when their moment arrives.

That is all. I'm really psyched about Thanksgiving vacation!! A break! I can't wait! I'm actually in a fantastic mood and being very productive. I just had to get some stuff out. Therapeutic, this blog is.

the best of

The best part of today is realizing that tomorrow is Friday, finally. I think that Friday at 2:30pm is the happiest minute of my week, I'm so looking forward to it this week. :D

(see I can do it without complaining!!)

such a complainer

I am such a complainer - I don't mean to be. I think that things are just not going my way right now. I got sick over the weekend with the flu. I haven't had the flu in YEARS! But I think what happened is that my immune system isn't very strong and when I got my shot on Thursday it couldn't create the antibodies that it needed to fight away the virus. And so I got sick. But of course today when I woke up (late), I felt okay enough to go to work, plus it was too late to call in. I'm really tired of always having some kind of physical illness or problem. I'm ready to feel 100% again.
I'm also really tired of my complaining so this will be it. Maybe my luck will change once I stop complaining about all that is going wrong....it's a theory anyhow.

arg

So said letter that I wrote yesterday about getting a student a personal para didn't flip like I wanted it to. I cannot believe the inconsistent answers and attacks on work ethic that I am getting. The big boss came over to someone else's classroom today. She stopped by mine, and I was thinking that she just came over to observe my student. Well, I heard later that she came over because my room was noisy. Are you f'n kidding me?

Like Rodney Dangerfield is famous for - "I get no respect, no respect."

screwed, I think not

There is some sick and twisted pleasure I get from not allowing my job to screw me. They are really playing games with me. I want a personal para for one of my kids and they are just jacking me around and making me do all this work. So today, I put together a fine document that had data and statistics and all the key special ed words. It was F-I-N-E fine. And I sent it to all that mattered. And from my administrators I got cheers of hooray and good job and support. I think I floored my director. There is no question of what this child needs anymore. It just makes me feel good that I am on top of it and know what is going on and can relay that in words. I am really good at what I do, and they can't really afford to lose me, so they better not screw with me. And that is where I'm at with that.

awwww.....it gets better

So we already know that I'm hurt, bitter, and angry at the world right now. To further that, they are being stingy at work and not allowing me the personal para for one of my students. There reply is always, there's not enough money. There totally is enough money. I've saved them at least $600+ a month by eradicating a behavior intervention. (positive behavioral milestones, if you know that group) And they took away one Process Coordinator, so now our entire district only has 2. We see ours once a week if we're lucky. I know there's money. Now, I'd just like to know where they are rat hole-ing it. I can guarantee you it's not in my pocket. So, now I feel that the school is screwing me. I'm ready to try another one - although, I have a feeling that maybe they are all the same.
AND Sprint is screwing me again, for the 5th month in a row. This is ridiculous. In about a week I will be calling and trying to get out of my plan and moving on to another company. There's no good reason for calling every month since June because my plan is screwed up - all because I washed my phone. I really shouldn't have this many problems because I overlooked where my phone was when I put a blanket in the washer. Stupid.
So now, officially, I can say screw it all. Of course I would probably use worse language than that....but this is online and in writing, so in a nice way, screw them all, screw it all, screw everything.
It'll all get better, I know. And probably sooner than later. But I just had to get on here and rant.

A good lesson in this is that when you see the worst in things, the worse comes out in everything. Learn up, people.

distant and obscure ravings

There's a good scene in Bridgett Jones' Diary where she sings the 'All by myself' song, drunk on vodka, plays air drums, cries for her singletoness. Not all of us had times like these, I had them during my gin & tonic days. But not so much since. I have, however, slipped into an abyss of loneliness, and not just being single loneliness, but all around loneliness. Last week, I was just wanting the friends to come to me, to help me, to be there for me...this week I'm screaming out 'hey, let's have a conversation, let's hang out.' and I've gotten the same reaction - no answered phone calls, no answered emails, total ignorance. From my friends. People whose calls I answer, who show up at my door, who send emails needing to talk, text messages. I don't understand it. I was there for them, I thought it worked both ways. How many times will I learn this lesson in life? Probably a million more. I'm stopping here and going on though, a person shouldn't have to spell it out for their friends. I learned a while ago that you are the most important person in your life.

A good thing is that I am luckier than most, I learn from everything and regret nothing.

Disclaimer: this blog is not intended to entertain the masses, it is like a diary and for all intents and purposes used to record my thoughts during that time period and moment. Don't be worried or upset or pissed off, it was your decision to venture through my personal thoughts and feelings at this moment. Who knows, the feelings and thoughts could change in the next moment and be totally different...

Daylight savings time

Did anyone else feel like today was the longest day ever? I did. I don't know whether it was the hour back, or just my day - but it was the longest day. I'd watch tv for 30 minutes, and it felt like an hour.

Tomorrow starts another work week - I hope it goes fast for everyone and that you find happiness in it.

Alone

If you know me well, you know that being single doesn't really bother me very often. I have great friends and lots to do, all the time. Well, the scary-old-lady-alone-with-80-cats syndrome has reared it's ugly head. I haven't gone off and adopted 79 more cats, nor am I going to...but the fact remains, I am single. And no matter how you say it, with vivacious umph, or a whiny, give-me-pity voice, you're still single. And at the end of the night when everyone goes home with their husbands, you are still going home to your house where there is only a feline, canine, and gerbil to greet you. No man in your bed waiting. No one wanting to have a conversation. No one to pour you a glass of cold water and get you a vitamin.

Here's what I want the world to know today, before I put my black boots on and walk - is that all I really want is someone to have a real conversation with, where we talk about real feelings, and where I listen as much as the other person does. It's that simple. But where does a girl find that..

10-29-07

This is my grandmother (my dad's mom). She died on Monday (10/29). I'm not really even sure how old she is. This pic is of her this summer. It was our last visit, and one of the best ones. For the most part she hasn't spoken much over the years - but this summer she did. I couldn't understand most of what she said, but she was still verbalizing. I know that she is in a better place and will be much better taken care of than she was at the nursing home. She hasn't known who I am for some time. It's been a while since she didn't really know who dad was. She had Alzheimer's. It's a very sad disease to see a family member go through. When my grandmother was young she was a teacher, like many women in that day and age. She also lived on a farm and raised 5 kids. She was always kind and her house always had a certain smell. We always slept on the 'davenport', also known as a hide-a-bed, or an explode-a-couch. She would make a lot of food, it wasn't always very good, but we ate it anyway. She made excellent lefse, a highlight of going to South Dakota for Christmas every year.

I'm not going to be able to go to the funeral. It was a very hard decision to make, but in end, I think it is the safest one. I am a bit torn up about not going, but I'm sure with time it'll be okay. She was the last of my living grandparents.

Boo!

Halloween


Adult trick or treating! Not really, but last night a few good friends and I got dressed up and went out. We went to a variety show put on by Spiceoflife productions (owned by friends of Mary's). The variety show is called a Donkey Show. They usually have all kinds of different acts and several live bands. It's cheap entertainment and always a really good time. And they do 'theme nights' in which you can dress up!

There's always an interesting act. Last night's interesting act was Human Art, titled 'Night Life Jones'. This art was a guy who was naked, except for a jock strap and had barbed wire coiled all around his body. It was real barbed wire. He wanted women to beat him with bats covered in sand paper. Sober, I can comprehend the psyche and it's need for pain and know that some take it to a very extreme level. But the beer must have got to me, because I couldn't handle it. I couldn't not watch it either. The more I thought about the disorders that go with this kind of behavior and the possible reasoning behind it, the more outraged I was. And then, I started thinking about what kind of people would actually take the bat and hit him?! Who is sicker? It really tripped me out and knocked my buzz off. I was not right for the rest of the night.

Here's some more fun pics - captions underneath!


I put on fake eyelashes for the first time.


My good friend, Pat, showing off his costume.


My bestest, Mary, the beer goddess!


Mary's husband, Cris, was a satan worshiping priest.


I like this one.


funny pic of Mary and Cris. They were in the costume competition. A killer bee won.

There's more where those came from! Hope everyone has a safe, but fun Halloween!

3 day weekend, sorta

Well, I got the day off today. Very nice. I slept in. The only reason I got the day off was because we had parent/teacher conferences this week. On Wednesday I had to teach a full day then stay at my school until 8pm doing conferences. On Thursday we had to be there from 8-8. Such long friggin' days. I did, however, get a lot accomplished. I was very productive. I am proud (but not) to say that this Quarter was the first quarter that I have ever gotten my progress reports out on time. They were so 'on time' that I could just hand them to their parent.

So I have today off. I'm doing laundry, cleaning the house and catching up on weekly chores. I do have to work tonight and then tomorrow at the salon. But I'm not going to let it ruin my 3 day weekend. So what if I have to work a full day and a half of hours at my second job over the weekend that I have off from my real job. (smell the sarcasm)

I went back to the dr. on Monday. I had lots of trouble breathing this last weekend. I was outside a lot and the air in my house is somewhat damp from the horrendous amounts of rain we've had. (I'm done with the rain). So I got another steroid pack and an inhaler. The doc also said that the rash on my stomach might be linked to these problems. I guess asthma and eczema go hand in hand. Regardless, the steroids clear everything up and the inhaler will help if I have any more probs breathing at night. Another interesting thing is that he had seen other people with the breathing at night problems recently. So there's something going on in the air. He also said all this will stop once it freezes. Well, freeze already!

I just got a surprise visit from the Jehovah's Witness! Weird. They left me some literature. I could go on a mile long view of advertising and religion right here, but I'm not going to. I have other things to do with my time today. Anyway, they were very nice, but I'm glad that I had to hold back my dog and I had my glasses on with wet hair today. The visit was short and sweet.

Happy weekend to everyone! I don't have much going on this weekend, have to wait for payday next Wednesday to do anything.

For the teachers....

It's Fall

Although the weather doesn't necessarily feel that way. I got a pumpkin today, so now I feel like it's actually fall and Halloween is coming. I've been so overloaded today. I feel like I need less on my plate or things just need to slow down. What's funny - is life isn't even near as crazy or busy as it was when I was in grad school. Maybe it's just me getting older.

Here's some fun pics of our pumpkin adventure. I went with college friends, Celinda and Brian. We had a great day. We also went to the Renaissance festival as well. It was my second time this year - but still fun. There was a lot of people watching today, because there was a lot of people there (last day of the festival).

Enjoy.

update

I felt the need to let those of you who read this know that I will once again be going back to the doctor. The dotty rash on my legs is going away, but I have a rash on my stomach now. It's an itchy one, but looks way different than the one on my legs. I really hope that someday I actually figure out what is wrong with me. It's been almost 2 months that I've been dealing with this now. I'm getting REALLY tired of it. My rational grounding is slipping and there are moments of emotional weakness. I'm not a crier, so this is hard for me.

I'll let you know once I go back to the dermatologist (so not happy to spend another $30, plus whatever it will be in prescriptions again).

sigh....

Arcade Fire

Check out this video: The arcade fire



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Not Scabies, hooray?!?!!

My trip to the dermatologist went okay. It was emotional. I had to wear a papergown, that was the emotional part.....and yes, I cried about it. The freaking gown didn't fit. And it was just an emotional day. But the big news is that I don't have scabies. I have some allergy. This is such a crazy ride! I have put so much medication on and in my body that I missed the monthly. But hooray - scabies free.

Tard Blog #2

I have written one before, but didn't title it "Tard Blog" I think I will from now on, if I have a good school story. As before, I don't mean to offend anyone - it's all for the shock value of it, plus it makes it a funnier story.

So recently, I got rid of two kids in my room. That puts me down to 5. One is suspended, so this week I have 4. It's been fantastic!

Sometimes as a teacher there are really funny things that happen that you want to laugh about, but can't. And then other times, there are things that happen that you want to laugh at, and can't control yourself so you laugh anyway. Today was one of the latter days.
My only female 6th grade student was blowing her nose today. Every time she blew it, D (another 6th grade, male) would make a face and a noise. The noise was similar to honk, I guess. But his faces got worse and worse, like more surprised/grossed out. I kept telling him to stop, but of course he kept doing it. I raised my voice, explained that it wasn't polite. Pretended to get mad - the whole bit. And then another kiddo, J (male, 6th grade) said, "Do you know what the most musical part of your body is?" That's when D pulls back in his chair like he is inhaling to 'blow a house down'. He makes this crazy face, thrusts his upper body forward and farts. There's nothing better than a fart on cue. I shouldn't have laughed, but I had to put my head down because I was laughing so hard I was crying. I think it was more his theatrical way of doing it, than the fart itself (although, I've been known to laugh at those). I thought it was funny enough to share.

the sixth glass

Thought this was really interesting - and a good read.


Do you know what dwells in the glass?” asked Ole. “I will tell you. There dwell in the glass, first, health, and then pleasure, then the most complete sensual delight; and misfortune and the bitterest woe dwell in the glass also. Now, suppose we count the glasses—of course I count the different degrees in the glasses for different people.
“You see, the first glass, that’s the glass of health, and in that the herb of health is found growing. Put it up on the beam in the ceiling, and at the end of the year you may be sitting in the arbor of health.
“If you take the second glass—from this a little bird soars upward, twittering in guileless cheerfulness, so that a man may listen to his song, and perhaps join in ‘Fair is life! no downcast looks! Take courage, and march onward!’
“Out of the third glass rises a little winged urchin, who cannot certainly be called an angel child, for there is goblin blood in his veins, and he has the spirit of a goblin—not wishing to hurt or harm you, indeed, but very ready to play off tricks upon you. He’ll sit at your ear and whisper merry thoughts to you; he’ll creep into your heart and warm you, so that you grow very merry, and become a wit, so far as the wits of the others can judge.
“In the fourth glass is neither herb, bird, nor urchin. In that glass is the pause drawn by reason, and one may never go beyond that sign.
“Take the fifth glass, and you will weep at yourself, you will feel such a deep emotion; or it will affect you in a different way. Out of the glass there will spring with a bang Prince Carnival, nine times and extravagantly merry. He’ll draw you away with him; you’ll forget your dignity, if you have any, and you’ll forget more than you should or ought to forget. All is dance, song and sound: the masks will carry you away with them, and the daughters of vanity, clad in silk and satin, will come with loose hair and alluring charms; but tear yourself away if you can!
“The sixth glass! Yes, in that glass sits a demon, in the form of a little, well dressed, attractive and very fascinating man, who thoroughly understands you, agrees with you in everything, and becomes quite a second self to you. He has a lantern with him, to give you light as he accompanies you home. There is an old legend about a saint who was allowed to choose one of the seven deadly sins, and who accordingly chose drunkenness, which appeared to him the least, but which led him to commit all the other six. The man’s blood is mingled with that of the demon. It is the sixth glass, and with that the germ of all evil shoots up within us; and each one grows up with a strength like that of the grains of mustard-seed, and shoots up into a tree, and spreads over the whole world: and most people have no choice but to go into the oven, to be re-cast in a new form.
“That’s the history of the glasses,” said the tower-keeper Ole, “and it can be told with lacquer or only with grease; but I give it you with both!”

The Watchman of the Tower
Hans Christian Andersen

The prognosis, Dr.?

You have to double click on the pic to really see the beauty...
This is what my body looks like as of 9/20. You're looking at a picture of my right leg (not so pretty, huh..). So far what I know is that on Friday - the Doc said that for sure scabies on my legs, but he's still not sure about the rashes on my arm/wrists that I've had and been talking about since August. He took blood to rule out anything serious, and I'll be visiting a dermatologist on Thursday. He gave me a cream that I am putting on at night - it's the equivalent to pesticide. I guess the little mites will die, but I will itch and have these bumps for weeks

I'm feeling very angry and upset. Seems very unfair that I slave my day away working for these kids, usually staying after work and coming in early. Only to get scabies from one of them. Remember I just found out yesterday afternoon - I'm a slow reactor - it's okay for me to be angry and blame them today. I'm still pretty sensitive - so don't joke, especially don't let me know how gross you think I am. Right now, I'm still allowed to say that I'm a dirty or gross girl.

I guess I'll know more. It's awful. The worst, worst feeling in the world. Sometimes I itch so bad I want to vomit. I'd much rather have a cold or pneumonia than this.

Reptile

I believe I'm turning into a reptile. Whatever it is that I have on my arm is not going away with the steroids and cream. In fact, I think it's creeping up my arm, even though that might be my imagination. So, if in fact, I turn into a reptile, I'm hoping that I'm some kind of dragon. Maybe I could blow fire - that would be fun. So I pose the question - if you could be a reptile, what reptile would you be?

From this weekened

Like everyone, I am not perfect. Not even on the good days am I close to perfect. Lately I've been thinking about the reactions to my actions. I live with the knowledge that I have no regrets. Every action has a consequence, be it good or bad. Every decision I make is mine, and mine alone. I am to blame for all the goes wrong and all that goes right. I am steadfast in this belief. One of few convictions that I will forever stick by.

My actions. Recently, I have got my power back. I've started to really find something wonderful and likable in everyone. I've started to play with ideas of dating, and being in a relationship. For the last year I haven't done this, nor have I wanted to. I temporarily lost my power - you could say I was grounded for a year from a prior action. But I'm off grounding - and everything, EVERYTHING is looking good. For example, Saturday night was the WFC..I talked to every man that looked at me. That was a lot of talking, and a lot of ignoring. But every man got some kind of attention. It was great to spend my time talking, having great conversation and the occasional drunk guy that just wanted to fan up my skirt with disgustingly poetic innuendos. I was severely fine with my actions until I started getting reactions.

Action/Reaction: While I was listening to some drunk-guy drivel - a new guy friend of mine left without saying bye. This bothered me terribly. Why would you leave without saying by to the people you came with? Because while he was hanging out, I was busy listening to drunk drivel. He's a nice one too. We had great conversations.

Action/Reaction: I totally let go of all this tension I had for another friend of mine and told him how much I liked him. Not a big secret, not a big deal. And at this point of the night, I really did like everyone. It's something that I told myself I would tell him next time we were together just to get it out there - and I did. He reacted appropriately in the moment. All was good. I did however turn to my left and start chatting it up with his friend and in a little while, they left. Had a great conversation with the friend - a drunk one, but fun conversation...and I can remember thinking, 'this guy is great too, i might crush on him for a minute'.

So none of this is out of the norms for any kind of drinking event. When women get drunk with power they use it unwisely. I don't want to be that girl this time. I want to be the girl who uses it wisely and snags a good man this time. But that means focus and time. Focusing takes skill - mine is VERY underdeveloped. Time - it's just something none of us have, I have cultivated the skill to make it though. This brings me back to the reactions to my actions. I think the only way to get the reaction that I want is to manipulate the action. It's all about shaping my skills. I really want to make some sort of reference to being an athlete right now.

It's back

So the rash turned into impetigo on my left arm went away, left a scare and is now on my right arm. But I caught it really early and went to a real doctor, instead of the minute clinic at cvs. He says it is an allergic reaction that last time probably turned into impetigo (since I let it go so long and fiddled with it). So he's putting me on a steroid pack and hydrocortizone cream. I was just starting to feel normal and not so 'dirty' and here I am back to being the 'dirty girl'. It's just so gross.

Happy Friday, tomorrow! I can't wait!!!!!

Cross Roads Music Fest

This is the best unknown festival Kansas City has to offer. It's a once a year commitment you should make! It was the best time, the best music, and the best people. Everyone should make a valiant effort to go next year. It'll be totally worth your time. And I'll be there! I won't miss another, now that I know what I am missing.

Check out the Spice of Life Productions to get a better picture of what I'm talking about. They also put on The donkey show, which is an awesome themed variety show. Love, Love, Love it!

Funky Fall

Fall is coming. This means many things to me. There's always lots to do and fun things that go on. A lot of group events, like festivals and such. Pumpkins and Halloween! Then it all just rolls into the holiday season and before we know it my birthday - I mean spring is here.
But the fall also means that inevitably my depression comes back. I've noticed since about 1997, that every fall I get depressed. Into a funk, if you will. It's not as bad as it used to be, and definitely not as bad as when I was going to grad school and working full time. But there's still a funk. I don't know that I will ever get rid of it. I'm sure a professional (and please, I've been to many) would say something about Seasonal Affective Disorder - or just that my clinical depression is triggered by something in the fall. In fact, they have said this. Most offer some sort of mood inhibiting drug or the famous advice of working out, doing things that make me happy. But we're going on 10 years, people. I've done it all. And yet, I find myself sitting directly in funk (not my kids funk, that is a different kind, and boy did i smell that today).
While it's easier to pull myself out, because really I'm only ankle deep in funk right now, I still hate that I am going through this. For no reason. My life is good. I'm happy. My job is challenging. I have the best friends in the world. There is nothing to complain about, nothing. So why is it that I am still sitting here with my feet in the funk.
I'm not really asking for advice or suggestions, rather just getting my thoughts out there. Writing them down. Being able to look back in 10 more years and say...hmm...still funky or thank God there isn't any more funk in the fall.
Maybe I should celebrate it and have a funky fall party. Maybe I should just keep about my business and not let myself get swallowed up in this funk. Maybe I should just reach out and let people know - it's the funky season - moods are a changin'.
I just find it odd. And wanted to write it down. That is all.

every day gets a little better

Just wanted to give you an update of how things are going in my house. I have to tell you, it is very hard to type with a little kitty getting all up in my business.

I decided to name the kitty, Maizey. It was in my secret list of names for kids. I think it fits her. It's unique enough to fit her crazy personality. She's such a playful thing.



Here's a picture I captured today while Maggie and Maizey were sleeping together on the couch. I think Maggie was sleeping and then Maizey kinda curled up there. Maggie is really being patient and seems to have accepted the kitty. Here's another picture that shows her patience and motherly nature.



It was so cute to watch Maggie wag her tail and Maizey try and catch it. Never once did Maggie get mad or try and nip at her like she had been doing.

I'm much happier now that all living animals in the house are getting along.

I did it.

Kansas City has this jewel of a diner - Town Topic. Many people don't go there. I'm not sure as to whether it's the lack of space to eat, the dirtiness of the trailer, the cracked-out waitresses, or maybe they don't like diner food. I was virgin to this place until I met Natalie. Then one night after having some drinks, she thought we needed a Truck Stop from Town Topic. I remember thinking, 'I need to call my dad and tell him I'm here. I'm sitting here eating at Town Topic.' I am sure I thought that because it's a landmark - and I've heard dad talk about it.
Anyway. That was the first experience. And yes, it was beautiful. My Truck Stop is a plate full of hash browns, eggs, meat of your choice (I usually choose none, but like the bacon), cheese, and onions. They cook it on the big grill and pile it together, cut it up and pile it on your plate. So it's all together. You also get 2 pieces of toast coated in that yummy lard/butter stuff they use in diners.
The sexy thing about Town Topic is that it could be like the first time every time. I love that.
After me an Natalie hit up town topic, I kept telling people about it. I of course couldn't remember the name of what we ate (Truck Stop) and lovingly called it a Hay Stack.
So - last night went in and ordered the regular, One Truck Stop with onions and sausage (natalie), One Hay Stack with onions and bacon (me), and then two coffees and two waters.
Our mouth waters while we wait for our delicacies. I drink up the coffee because it tastes like the best coffee I've ever had. [let me note, this is probably our most sober visit!] We get our plates and go to work like it's our full time job. I have never finished a full plate. Never. Natalie has done it once, I was so amazed. So we made it our business to actually finish both our plates. And we did! I didn't think I could do it - but I really powered through. I finished it and all the toast. It was fing phenomenal! I know I shouldn't be proud, but I am. I also don't think I'll have to eat for a week.

Salute to Town Topic and the best late night food I've ever experienced!

It's a girl....

Here she is! She doesn't have a name yet. Here are some possibilities: Flower, Daisy, Sunflower (sunny)
I'm really not close to choosing a name, although I think she probably needs one. If you have a suggestion, please email or comment!!

BTW - Maggie was so excited for her to come home, but hers is not so excited about Maggie. It's getting better - a little time and I'm sure they'll be best friends.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to the longest crush I've ever had....






Jack Black - picture from The Holiday

F You, Ms. Steen

I am one of the lucky few teachers I know to have a SmartBoard in their classroom. It's an amazing piece of technology. I use it daily. For those not in the know, a Smartboard is just like a big screen in the front of my classroom. It has a projector and is hooked up to my computer. Anything I do on my computer can be seen on the Smartboard. I can also write on the Smartboard - so it can double as a chalk board or white board. Very exciting. Well......even though the Smartboard is off, if you touch it, it affects my computer - and thus comes your first full fledged stupid kid story.

It's 1:04 the bell rings for 4th block to start. I go in to start the kids on bellwork for Math. I love teaching Math. And today, I had already decided that I would let them go to the computer lab and play math games if there were anywhere near decent.
I have to get on my computer to take attendance. It is a chore that has to be done at the beginning of every hour, in the first 15 minutes. I walk behind my desk and there's a message for me on my desktop. It says "Fuck You" in bright lime green. I catch my breath, because I know exactly who it is and this kid isn't one of my overwhelming 'bad' ones. I ask the class to raise their hand if they touched the Smartboard in anyway. A few were like, "I was over here but I did..." So I looked at my para, handed out some worksheets and asked the stupid kid to go into the hallway. And I proceeded to 'walk and talk'. (That is what I do when you're going to the principals office and you don't know it). So I asked him if he knew that whatever we wrote on the Smartboard showed up on my computer screen. He of course said NO. I asked him what he wrote on the Smartboard and we talked about the obscene language and that I took offense to it because it seemed like this message was for me. He was very quiet, but did say he didn't know. We got to the Principal's office and I had her tell him the consequences of this - but that this time would be a warning. Because I do believe he didn't know that it went on my screen. And he's a kid that would never say FU to me or call me a b to my face. Behind my back and for attention from other kids - it's a whole other story.
I've really got to start bringing my camera to work for precious moments like these.

$$

For the first time in my life, I know exactly how much money I actually have. It's shameful, I know. But an accomplishment all in itself.

Addition

Keep your eyes on my blog, there is going to be a new addition to my household this week!! Meow!

Art is all in the eye of the beholder.

And - Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

After visiting the Nelson Art Gallery, it's interesting to see what people think is art. I really like impressionism, but have respect for all kinds of art. I really like to look at it all. Some of it is so odd though. I am always intrigued at first Fridays (which is held on the first Friday of the month in the art/crossroads district of KC, all the galleries are open to go through). There's always one gallery with a pile of trash in it and it's supposed to be art. It's always funny to go through some of them and think - I could do that. I could frame a dried pea and someone would pay $800 for that. But maybe that is what makes art so wonderful and necessary.
I absolutely had the best day going to the Nelson, maybe it was the company, maybe it was doing something different or maybe the combination of both.

GRUNTS...

Well, today sucked for me. Just no fun at all. I could not figure out why until I was talking to another teacher and she pointed it all out. Sixth Graders. I can't stand these little baby sixth graders. After a week of repeating and practicing they still cannot follow my classroom expectations. I understand that after they played and watched movies all last year, that it might be hard to follow expectations. But it gets so annoying. And then I have no patience. And we all know where that goes....or do we? Has anyone ever really seen me loose my patience?

My funny story for the day: I have a student who will ask to do something and when I respond he grunts at me.
Example: "Ms. Steen, can I use one of my passes and go to the bathroom?" "No, the bell will ring in about 6 minutes and you can use your passing time to go." "UGHHHHGH."
"Student will you please finish your math work sheet?" "UGHSHHH"

So after about 50 of these grunts, I have many more examples. I decided that when he asked me a question, I would just grunt at him. So, he shouted out (without raising his hand) some question. And I grunted. He continued to ask me, so I continued to grunt. Regardless, he didn't grunt for the rest of the day, so my weird way, maybe even wrong to some of you, dealing with him - worked! It's okay to think outside the box. As a special ed teacher - some times I HAVE to.

So anyway - tomorrow I am going to get a new student. He's an 8th grader and will just wonderfully fit in with my immature 6th graders....(smell the sarcasm, folks).
Thank God tomorrow is Friday!

Do you want the good news or the bad news???

The good news is:



This is a flower in my top 'pond'. I just saw it today after school and had to take a picture. I think it is so pretty. How many people have flowering lilypads in their yard???!!!

And the bad news....




Somewhere at the beginning of school (when it was still adults) I got impetigo. Yes, that is impetigo. Disgusting, eh? I thought that was a old time disease, not something people got today. You have to have skin on skin contact to get it. So unless you've been rubbing my left arm - you won't have it. Although the treatment is just some antibiotics and cream. So disgusting. All I can do is stare at it and shake my head with disgust. And think, 'god, those people with diseases are dirty and disgusting. they really need to take care of themselves.' And then I wake up and realize that it happened to me. I'm not dirty, nor disgusting....at least not right now.

Anyway - enjoy, have a good week.

First day of School

Tomorrow is the first day of school with students. It's pretty exciting. I'm overwhelmed by all the work that needs to still be completed - but it'll be fine. This is my 5th year teaching with a certificate (I taught before without one at a private school). It's my 3rd year at Center Middle and the longest job I've ever held. I don't really see myself leaving soon, unless 'the ship starts to sink'.

I'm basically ready for my new kiddos. I've got a whole new crew this year. I'm excited for the new start. I think it'll be a good one.

Anyway - I just wanted to get some of my thoughts down, so I can look back at them later. When I remember to bring my camera to school, I will take pics of my classroom so everyone can admire my handy work.

Good luck to everyone who's also starting school tomorrow or in the very near future. I hope this year is nothing like last year!!!

Back to work

I went back to work today. I had to be up and out of the house by 7:45AM. I was actually up around 6:15 and had plenty of time to get ready. It was actually a good day. I found myself to be really happy back to work. I think I like having something to get up for. Plus, it's nice to spend the day with friends. I work with a really great team of people. They make the time very worth while.

The students are back on the 15th and it looks like we are going to get out of school May 21, granted we don't have any snow days.

Cell Phones

If you look at the title, you might think that this is a rant about people and cell phones. Well, it's not. I do want to say that I don't believe a cell phone be your only means of calling someone, or your only means of finding a phone number. I believe this because today I accidentally washed my cell phone, deleting and ruining my phone. If anyone remembers, this is the second one I've dropped in water, and the second time I've deleted all my numbers. I wasn't able to revive my cute pink phone, so now I'm toting a old black phone that I got from Natalie (thank God she had it). It's a very manly phone...but it cost me nothing and I'm able to talk and communicate with people.
Anyhow, email me with phone numbers for those that read this: bonniesteen@mail.com

The House....

All right, here are some pics of my new house with stuff in it. I will post them and make comments below the picture. I'm truly in love with this house. It is going to be a good home. I've had a lot of people come by and everyone seems to be very impressed.


This is 8725 Sleepy Hollow, picture taken from the street.


Once you come through the front door, this is what you see. It is my living room/dining room. Maggie thought she should be in the picture. Isn't she the cutest. She loves it here, although I think she misses being able to go in and out as she pleases. Since we have A/C, we don't do that here.


Here is the kitchen looking from the living room/dining room. While the kitchen is small - it is much more efficient than my last one. I will cook a lot in there.


Another picture of the kitchen from standing in it. You can see my enormous fridge and then the entry to the laundry room and back door.


Here's my little laundry area right off the kitchen.


This is the back door. I wanted to put a picture in because of the stained glass looking window in it. It is a key to what's out back. BTW -that window is not glass, it's plexi-glass. But it looks for real, I was certainly surprised when I touched it and it wasn't real stained glass.



This is the view from the back door. You can see my little patio out back and the koi ponds in the yard.



This is my shed. They previous owner left a lawnmower, shovels, rakes, wheel barrow, and all kinds of stuff in there. I didn't have to buy any yard stuff at all!!



This is a picture of the koi - or the fish, as I call them. Everyone is always surprised that there are fish in there. There are quite a few actually and a lot of baby fish.

That's all the pics I am going to share for now. I'll have pics of the bedrooms as they come to fruition. Right now they are a crazy mess because I haven't touched them.

Happy Thursday to everyone. It's not a happy thursday for me because I had wanted to go to Minneapolis this weekend to see my cousin, and I'm not going to get to. Not because of the bridge tragedy, but because the salon won't let me off the hook. Lot's of people have asked about my cousin up there and I've heard from her and her and everyone she knows is fine. But it is a tragedy and we should think strong thoughts for everyone up there, it's going to take a while to find all the people in the wreckage and clean up the debris.