Be Kind, Rewind
The trailer doesn't do it justice. It's a really decent film, with good messages. I really enjoyed it.
They remake movies and call them 'sweded'. I just wanted to show you my 'sweded' movie. 
So after I applied for the self-contained position that I wanted in the Blue Springs District, I did some digging. I looked at pay scales and such and realized that I am going to have to take a pay cut any where I go. I also sat and thought, 'what do I really want?' I was kinda thinking maybe I didn't want to teach self-contained anything. I'd like to have a variety of students and do resource or class within a class kind of teaching. It would be a nice change and I could really make a difference. AND then I got an email from Blue Springs saying the position had already been filled. AND then I got a message from a co-worker saying that they are almost 100% positive they are doing away with my position at the school next year (doesn't mean I'm out of a job - don't get crazy!!). So, what this all means is that I might get to push for whatever kind of job I want next year. I know I want to keep my pay check. AND I know that I want to be able to move around a little, rather than be tied down in my classroom with the same kids. I want to be able to enforce behavior plans in the regular classroom and I want to help kids in a one on one-three setting. Finally - something that I can say to someone when they say, well what can I do for you or how can I help you or what do you want to do. AND on the 10th of March we have a planning meeting for next year where I can totally be like, AND this is what I want to do - how do we fit that in. :D Amazing how fate steps in and works it all out.
Sigh *of relief*
So is warmth. Bring it on, spring....
Good thoughts: 2 weeks and 4 days till I got to Mexico. This also means, my birthday is just a little over 3 weeks away. All very exciting things to look forward to.
I think we have another person joining us which will only add to the trip, and make it cheaper for groceries.
I hope everyone is staying well. I seem to be feeling much better these days.
I have a community band concert on Sunday at 3:00 at the Platte City High School Auditorium. It's not going to be a great concert (meaning, I don't have any solos), but if you like band music - it'll be good. We are pairing with another community band - from the way Mr. Sergel (my director) talks about it - they might be an 'older' band.
My student gave me another treat today at lunch. She gave me an apple all wrapped up in a paper towel which was then wrapped up in saran wrap (I have no idea where she got that...). It was an interesting looking gift. Anyhow. I haven't been eating anything the kids give me. It's bad enough that I eat lunch in my room with the stink and the germs.
I'm grateful for new glasses coming. It's probably time to change my contacts, but I am awaiting my new glasses, so when I get home for the night, I can just put them on and let my eyeballs breath.
I'm also grateful for a past principal which agreed to be a reference. It was the last reference I was looking for and so my application can be complete. I will be putting out applications and waiting for the phone calls. I've definitely decided on Elementary and am reviewing districts pay scales to see who's the highest bidder. Unfortunately - Center is right now, but I do have a lot of experience and am well respected in my trade - soooo....I might be able to get a deal.
Just some updates:
1. I got a key to the salon. So I can now pick up shifts with only one person working.
2. I have not heard from the dr. about all the tests he ordered, but I should sometime this week.
This is unreal! We have another snow day. I can't hardly believe it. Even though I was scheduled to not be at work anyway - it's really nice to know that I would have had a 5 day weekend (except for working all day at the salon on saturday). I got my house cleaned up yesterday. I did the really deep cleaning - not just putting everything up.
It was good to have the day to do that. At this time of year, I think it's really hard to be motivated to do anything. The last two Sunday's I've spent shamelessly in bed. Didn't get up to do anything but go to the bathroom, get some water or milk, and let the dog out. So cleaning house yesterday was not only an emotional relief, but necessary.
Today I am going to venture out. I have a few errands I need to run, and I thought about actually heading down to the symposium I'm supposed to be at so my district doesn't waste $115.
Have a fantastic weekend.
Is there ever a time in life where you actually feel like you get ahead or at least clear even? I can see the gains and all the wonderful things I've accomplished - but I do not feel like I'm ahead or even - I feel far behind.
The good moment for the day - my 5:33 AM call for a snow day!! I did already have the day off, but now, I will be stuck in my house and am using the day to clean! I have been so lazy and lethargic lately that I've done nothing. I've even resorted to the wearing of dirty clothes (fluff them in the dryer of course). So anyway - I'm at it. I thought I'd take a minute and check all my stuff - thank god I did. I've got to get my sh-- together! I absolutely love these wake-up calls (sike).
I did go to the dr. but got nothing. They got 8 vials of blood and an ekg. So we'll see from there. I'm not going to post anything about it until I know anything one way or the other.
Hope everyone stays warm today and is safe if you decide to get out!
The clarity worked - and today was possibly the best day I've had at work all year. It felt as if teaching was supposed to feel. I didn't feel terrible, sick, or stressed when I left. It was nice.
Thanks to everyone for the VD messages. (VD is Valentine's day) I sent a few of my own and still have some to give out. Mainly I saved it for my every day peoples. I'm not big onto the whole deal - I like the pretty colors and all the fun candy and cards - but really.....it's a Hallmark Holiday! Nothing important. I do have to thank Brian, my best guy friend, for being my Valentine once again. THANKS! You always save me from sitting at home by myself on this crappy day.
I did really appreciate an email Brian sent - went something like this:
"Happy Singles Awareness Day!" I thought that was genius.
Hope everyone had a wonderful VDay and that if you are coupled you got flowers and the like, and if you're not coupled that you had wonderful friends to share it with and that you didn't sit at home and feel sorry for you singleton self.
Have a great weekend!! TGIF!
It has become very clear to me that I need to send out more positive messages into the universe. Everything has really not been going my way. I've said it before, I will say it again - When it rains, it pours. And since I have been having a negative attitude, I think it has continued to pour. I've tried to change my thinking to more positive, but something else would happen or I'd lose my patience and bam - back to the negative. So I'm going to try something - I'm going to write about my day and tell what the positive of the negative was. And hopefully it will at least cancel out and the universe will stop pouring on me.
Ran late this morning - just dreading going to school. But I got there only 15 minutes late and then started working the minute I got in. I was able to take care of a kid that I had worried about earlier that morning and so all was good.
Had a rough day. But I did notice that the students really work well on worksheets (I have actually been noticing this). I'm not a worksheet kind of teacher, but I think if it would calm my class down - I would become that teacher for at least the rest of this year. I'll be giving it a try in the next few weeks. Realizing this and accepting this also made me think that my students must like to complete work, but like to have the work/tasks in front of them before they begin. So my checklist on the smartboard isn't enough. I don't think a checklist on their desk would be enough - but I'm going to try. I'll be killing more than a few trees the rest of this year.
I cried twice today - both times just because I break down. And I've noticed that when I do cry (It's quite often lately) my mantra is 'I can't do this'. I don't know if I can change that by the time I get to that point - but I know that it does make me feel better and I always talk myself into knowing that I can and have to do it. I probably need to take more breaks and that way I wouldn't get to that point.
I locked myself out of my house. Didn't freak out - went on to the gym and then to get my hair did. When I got home I didn't worry, I just kicked the door in - see a few weeks ago, somehow, my door frame cracked (weather). And so it was easy. I have Saturday off and will be able to just spend the day figuring out how to fix it.
Now I'm off to eat some dinner and see a concert/show. I hope that the universe sends me something nice. Or at least I've started to change my precipitation problem. It can surely stop raining on me anytime.
First the good news - with my income tax money I have paid off my Eddie Bauer Credit Card. It's always good to pay something off right. I'll be shredding that card - and not using it ever again. I'm just not fiscally responsible enough.
Also-I go to the specialist next Tuesday. I'm glad it was moved up. Stacy, I just read your comment about black mold - I'm going to look into all that and see how to test for it - just to rule it out. When my house was inspected the guy went everywhere and said there wasn't any problem with mold or carbon dioxide. I'll do my research and then look into it though. At this point, I'll pretty much do anything.
I'm also taking my unhappiness at work into my own hands and finding a new job. I've started applying. I'm hoping to be able to have a new job in place for next year before this year ends.
While all this goodness is fantastic - I'm still in a funk and there seems to be little to get me out of it. I've started back to my old eating habits. I stopped working out as much. I'm definitely not losing weight. And in fact have put on a few of the pounds I've lost (not too many though). I'm finding it really hard to find the want to go to the gym or the self control not to eat whatever I want. I know - that I have to do both in order to lose weight. But after I get done writing this, I'm going to the gym.
I've begun two lists - one on 100 things that I'd like to do and the other on all the things, even small minuscule ones, that I'd like in a man. If you are lucky I'll try and blog them both this week. Thanks to Stacy for the first idea, and Oprah's magazine for the second.
Okay - I'm out like trout to the gym. Have a great week!
I know I'm speaking to the choir - but make sure and get out there and vote on SuperTuesday. Let's make sure our votes get expressed - no matter what/who you vote for. I was rather impressed with all the Super Tuesday - get out and vote hoopla during the Superbowl yesterday! It really shows how ready our country is for a leader and a new direction.
And just for fun - a quote: "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a
member of Congress.. But I repeat myself." --Mark Twain
After this last wonderful weekend with Saturday off, I've decided that I need to not work on Saturday's anymore. This presents a problem because it is now the only day that I work my second job. So - my solution to this is to ask to work during the week and not on Saturday's. If they respond in a negative manner - then my option is to quit and not work a second job. I'll just have to watch the going out and spending. Which can be done, although not easily. And I can always ask around for tutoring jobs and after school care and such. That kind of stuff is just not steady. But maybe if I picked something up every once in a while and watched my money by actually budgeting - then I could truly be successful at not working on Saturdays or having a second job at all.
In conclusion, I would really enjoy not working a 6 day work week. Thank you.
What I know:
The doc put me on steroids again methylprednisolone and so the swelling has gone way down. I'm able to do every day stuff without a lot of pain AND I'm not moaning as much. It is my third time being on these steroids so I went to the link above and realized that all the 'prescribed for' are the problems that I've been having. So I some more hope that my doctor knows what he is doing. Also, just for point of clarification - I have seen this particular doctor since I moved back from Cabool in 8th grade. So it's not just some joe schmo HMO.
As perplexing as it seems, what I have symptoms (been having) is some kind of connective tissue disease. However, in September he gave me that run of tests and I came up fine. I'll be going to see a rheumatoid arthritis specialist soon (they didn't answer their phones yesterday so I could make an appointment). I don't think my doctor has nailed it down to just that - but I guess the guy has some experience and will be able to put things together and make some sense of them. After looking at the wiki-pedia about RA, I don't think I have that. There are a slew of other connective tissue diseasesthough, and my guess is that I probably have one of them.
I also think before this is all said and done that I really should go see a allergist and have the big stick test. Just to rule all that out - and to see what I'm allergic too. The other thing that hasn't escaped me is that this all pretty much started when I moved into my house - if we want to connect it to something - it also started the day I started back to school - so we can connect it to that if you want also.
But all this boils down to my symptoms which have been: skin irritation, trouble breathing, inability to fight off cold/bronchitis (may be due to the steroids), swollen joints, and joint stiffness - all at some point in time over the last 6 months.
Now, I'm going to go and enjoy my first Saturday off in a very long time. I'll let you know what I know, when I know it. :)
Well....I'm now on month 6, going into month 7 of having some sort of sickness. First it was the rash on my wrist, then the rash on my legs/arms, then breathing problems, then the normal cold sickness, which then turned into acute asthmatic bronchitis, which went away for a total of 4 days and then came back, I have somewhat gotten rid of the cough, but still am congested at times and Tuesday brought on a whole new symptom that I've never had. It started with feelings of the flu, a fever, and then every joint in my body has swelled to maximum size. Every once in a while it will go down and I will actually be able to see a normal size. This comes with joint stiffness and pain - pain all over. It's all my joints - from my toes, ankle, knees, spine, neck, elbow, wrists, fingers - and it all hurts. So another trip to the doc tomorrow - this time I'm really not leaving until he agrees to either send me to a specialist, or run a load of tests. I just want to rule it all out so I can go on medical diagnosis, or they can use me as a story for House.
I'm all good and sure of getting better until someone brings up yet another disease or virus that it could be. I've heard so many. I've checked the webmd and it comes up with some crazy stuff as well. So - I'm just going to stand strong and make my dr. do something other than just treat the symptom - I really feel the need to find out what's going on, now.
I'm not going to school tomorrow because of the pain and the dr.'s appointment - I've moaned through the last two days. So I won't be going in to get weighed...so I won't have an official loss/gain - but I am going to weigh myself here at home in the morning and try to judge it off that. My scale and the nurses scale at school are off, but it's usually by two pounds so I think I can guesstimate that.
Anyway - prayers people!! I guess my good deeds are not enough.
This is a concern-full blog. I have been having a lot of struggle with my current position in my school district. I am currently teaching a Cross Categorical (many disabilities and levels) room in the middle school. I was hired to teach in their Emotional Disorder classroom - which as I understood it also had a classroom at the elementary and high school - making it somewhat of a district program. After my first year (most of my students were 8th graders) my students moved up to the high school and one by one, almost all of them were placed in outside placements because - they didn't have a self-contained classroom, nor anyone in place to support their needs. Also - the next year, they took my position away (totally, like it didn't exist anymore) and had me teaching something called Curriculum Support. Rather like a study hall for students in special education. Then this year, they gave me back my ED classroom, and when I got the kids, what I realized was it was a cross cat. room. AND what I have since found out is that the way it works in the elementary is that when they have kids that they just can't deal with elsewhere, they stick them in 'this' room - which when they get to middle school is MY room.
I'm not happy teaching cross cat. I would much rather teach curriculum; like reading, or be in a district with an actual ED program.
At this point - there isn't anything for me if I stay, no hope to be doing something I agree with or love. I also am not happy with the Special Education program that they have district wide. I do not think we are capable of serving kids that we should be able to.
I have no idea where I should go from here or if I should. I don't know what district would be better or more suited. I hand picked Center and am disappointed that it did not turn out to be what it was supposed to be. Do I get out and search for that? I'm not even sure if it exists. I just know I have to get away from the cross cat. room - I thought they were leaning away from that in education.
Also, my para put in her 2 weeks today. I'm dreading that. I don't really know who/what they will put in her place. I do know that it will make more work for me. But I also understand how stressful our room is and how she doesn't want to do it anymore. So I gave her my blessing - mostly so she wouldn't feel guilty. Her last day will be a sad day for me. Happy for her though.
I'm not really looking for any answers from my readers - but it's just helpful to get my thoughts out there.
I am finally at the ripe old age of 30 and before I turn 31, retiring from the every Friday afternoon 'Happy Hours' which are actually and usually from 3pm to 3am. Nothing good ever comes of them. I am not enjoying them nor having a good time. Thus the announcement of my retirement.
Thanks to my supporters over the years - may you still know my name and beverage when I walk in the door.
Kennedy's
Corner Cocktail
Johnny's (now Paddy O'Quigley's up north)
Tanner's
and 75th St. Brewery for being the good beer and good food break during the evenings.
Many thanks to all the schools I've working in for supplying me with the want/need to go to happy hour every Friday as well as the friends to go with.
The three day weekend threw me for a loop. I did not exercise as much as normal and I had too many beers over the weekend.
BUT....
I still lost 2 pounds. And so the grand total now is 17 lbs.
I'm going to try out a new money strategy for this month (remember I get paid only once a month). Here it is:
1. Only go out one night a week (I'm a normal 2-3 night outer).
2. Only go to Walmart/Target once a month, have a list and go by the list.
3. Start two separate funds, one for traveling and another for the house - pay them first.
4. Continue not to eat out for lunch or dinner (I've been doing this, working well in all ways).
I've started mapping it out and only come across one flaw - there's one week where I have 2 live band events and it's Valentine's weekend in which I like to take myself out - so that is really 3 events. That will be tricky....
Any suggestions or ideas or whatever - give me a post or email. This money stuff is always an on-going thing with me.
This time, I'm the tard. A picture says a thousand words. This is the second day in a row (last friday and today) that I've had to break up a fight. Today though, I did not win. 
This is after school - so I've gone all day with kids and stress and only a 20 minute break for lunch. The scratch itself is about 1.5 inches long. This is what happens when you break up a fight from the front, and not the back. Also, this is what happens when the student just keeps going and you are in the direct line of fire.
If you need a closer look:
