So, I decided to do a little yard work last week and ended up with poison something all over my body. The dr. called it contact dermatitis, because of course I have no idea what it is. It doesn't necessarily 'look' like poison ivy....it can't - it's everywhere. I'm on a steroid pack, and it's looking better, however I continue to get more and in new places. I will probably have to call the dr. I don't want to have this all summer. It's rather uncomfortable and makes me feel leperous. Also, it's on my face - although looking better - and I am scared to put any makeup on - so sans makeup everywhere I go. While I don't normally wear a lot of makeup - there are moments that I like to put my best looking foot forward...
Anyway - this is really just to remind myself later in life of when I had poison skin all summer and how bad it sucked.
I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but I'm really obsessed with the Twilight Saga. The obsession comes and goes, and when it's quiet - I'm barely thinking about it, however when it's loud - It's screaming, overtaking all my thoughts. It's been working it's way up to loud over the last month or two. Eclipse (the 3rd book) will be out in the theaters on the 30th of June. One weekend I was going to watch the first two movies and then read the 3rd book (again..). That never happened because I haven't allowed myself to buy New Moon (2nd book/movie) and I didn't find anyone that I could borrow it from (although I had offers, just bluray offers and those are no good to me). It finally took me and yesterday I just started the 3rd book and of course finished it. Nothing like sitting down and reading a 600 something page book in one setting. But that is how I like it... It's ridiculous how I smile and laugh and become one with this series. There is a showing here in KC for the opening night where they are going to show all three movies for the price of one. I've already considered this, and tried to find someone to join me. I think I'll have to experience this alone, which makes me sad - but I've made up my mind (I did weeks ago) and I am going to do it. I'm going to go see all three movies in the theater on the same night. I can't wait.
I made my own granola today and wanted to share the recipe. It would be a great recipe for kiddos, to help with and to eat. Remember that I am a cook that doesn't really measure (although I have measurements for you) and I also believe in making the recipe yours. So add what you want! I used honey in my recipe because I don't normally have syrup around. It worked out perfectly - I love the flava!
Basic Ingredients:
3 Cups Old fashioned oats
1 cup Almonds (add some other nuts if you want, cashews would be delish)
1/4 Cup brown sugar
1/4 Cup Maple syrup (or honey, or sorghum/molasses)
1/4 Cup Vegetable Oil (or conola, any light oil)
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 Cup raisins or dried fruit or chocolate chips, m&m's etc.
Heat your oven to 250
Combine the Oats/Nuts/Brown Sugar in one bowl, in another bowl combine the maple syrup, oil, salt - then put them all together and spread on a cookie sheet (or jelly roll pan, etc.). Cook for 1 hour and 15 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes
Remove it to a big bowl and add your extras - raisins, dried fruit etc.
I let it cool for a while, and then stirred it up again and let it cool more. Pretty much ate and stirred all night. It's now sitting in Tupperware. SOO delicious.
I would take a picture and make this blog really pretty - but I dropped my camera tonight and I think I broke it for good. I loved that camera, it's a very sad loss.
So, I decided I should look at my list of things I wanted to do this summer and see where I'm at. You can see that I have decided to save all the 'work' for later. I had to save some things because of finances and others just because I've not had time to do them yet, and I know I will in June.
That vacuum, even though it was more than I thought I could spend has really been worth the money! I don't know if any readers/friends noticed, I love it.
Tomorrow I start a new workout routine - gonna get up early and work out with Bethany, she lives around here so I can ride my bike to her house. I'm excited to work out with a friend and do it in the morning. I'm afraid of letting myself (and her) down by not going. Because of this fear, I am sure I will go. I love having a friend to do it with because it makes me accountable. I can deal with letting myself down, but it's harder to see it in the face of others (mainly because I don't always look at my face). Regardless of all that drivel, I'm very excited about this. Right now, I'm holding myself to Mondays and Wednesdays. If it's really fun and I like it, I'll include Fridays. Maybe it will make me feel super cool and I'll also do something on Tuesday and Thursdays, like walk the dog or go to the gym. We'll see. I'm still scared, this has been something I've wanted and talked about for a long time (to work out in the morning) and I still have yet to jump the hurdle and do it. I think it will happen, but only because of Bethany's support. She's awesome!
I have to mow the yard today. I'm being very procrastinating about it. But it's gonna rain this week, so it has to be done today. I swear, when and if I can, I will pay for a lawn mowing service or a new lawn mower.
I've listened to Kodi's music (on her blog) while writing this blog - I love it!!
1. Summer's here BBQ (already bbq'd this summer, will do more)
2. front yard area - put in a little bird bath, plant some plants (planted impatiens - sp?- yesterday)
3. cut down bushes in front (done)
4. re-do kitchen: clean out everything, new spice holders, new dry goods holders, re-arrange (I've cleaned out everything and done some rearranging, but haven't bought new spice holders or canisters for dry goods)
5. paint rooms: living room, bedroom
6. pull carpet in bedrooms (officially taking this off, the new vacuum is amazing)
7. cleanout fence on south side
8. put new chainlink and possibly a few new posts in on south side
9. paint trim in house
10. get new carpet for bedrooms, or finish with flooring - undecided, probably depend on funds (no need with the awesome vacuum)
11. buy and install storm doors
12. put new weather strip on door
13. get big rocks out of bottom pond
14. replace big rocks
15. in August go to Minneapolis for Maure and family and art show
16. In July go to Okoboji for BRASL and boji fun
17. spend lots of time with freeman bambino (still waiting for him to come, but I contact mom everyday)
18. work out, ride my bike, take a swim, go to the lake (I have already had some good bike adventures and have ideas for more - I even rode my bike to the gym)
19. throw my momma a birthday party (June 12, if you wanna come)
20. Go to see Michael Buble (up close and personal like, if my mom takes me, they are her tickets).
21. ride my bike in the morning to get coffee.
22. Join CSA and learn to cook new organic veggies and meats (yes, and this was a fantastic decision! I've gotten more meat than veggies!! It's been awesome)
23. Remember everyday I don't go out or pass up a social event is a day closer to financial freedom and ultimate financial responsibility.
24. Go see movies, particularly excited about Eclipse (saw Get Him to the Greek, funny Apatow movie)
25. Meet some new people that do stuff I want to do also.
26. Hang out with April, because I know we would be good friends and have fun times. (Wonders..does April have a bicycle?)
27. Visit with Kodi & Trai and meet Millie. (putting all traveling off til my next paycheck - June 25th, so sometime after that - start thinking about when)
I took the payless shoes back. They just weren't worth it. Especially when my coworker reminded me that we had planned on Friday lunch dates during summer school. Food is so much more important. Especially getting to try new places and lunch menus. Although a really nice pair of shoes would be worth giving that up, these shoes were not 'really nice', just cheap payless shoes.
So I had a coupon for a free spicy sandwich from Chick-fil-A today. It was not as spicy as I thought it would be. Good, but I probably won't order it again. My most favorite - and I've tried everything - is the grilled chicken deluxe sandwich. YUM! Their lemonade was particularly good today. There was lots of pulp in mine, which I love, thus why I said it was particularly good. I have plans to go work out and then go back for a free teacher meal (Carrie gave me TONS more coupons) with Brian. Good times. I don't normally eat so much fast food...I'm making an exception for Chick-fil-A because it's FREE yo!
So my summer school experience is going to be good. Small classes, easy curriculum. I'm looking forward to it. The hardest thing is going to be filling out the lesson plans which I will have the first 2 weeks done this weekend, if not more. After that, really, it's just teaching.
Lots of good things, easy days, and summer dress wearin' going on. I love it.
Today I dedicated to a bike ride, but I also hung out at home, painted my front door frame, got some needed items at target, and bought 2 pairs of shoes at payless for work (although I might take them back - I really shouldn't have spent that 25 bucks).
The bike ride was killer! It was easy and fun. I didn't work as hard as normal. It was lovely. We (Carrie and I) rode to Spin! Pizza and had a wonderful lunch - spinach salad and Margherita pizza. Then we tooled around and came back toward Waldo and stopped at One More Cup and had a Toddy Shake, which was heaven! Absolutely delish! I can't wait to have another one.
I love riding bikes, but will miss my friend Carrie as she goes on her own adventures for a month. I'm looking for a new riding partner....thought I'd put an add on Craigslist....NOT. Anyway - I am going to ask around and see if anyone is interested. It's always so much more fun with someone else.
And now I'm going to turn the air down and head to bed early so I can try to get to work on time tomorrow. I'm looking forward to something to do, yet I will miss being able to make my own schedule. But the extra money is nice and needed.
Happy Friday everybody!
Today's Mantra was: Thinking about my desires and allowing them to go out into the universe. Staying in the present moment and enjoying it, not letting obstacles get in the way of the moment. (in bonnie speak anyway)
I'm working on a few things this summer to enhance myself and my life. Meditating is one of those. I'm using Deepak Chopra's website as a guide and daily meditations. I really enjoy his books and his twitter so I figured I couldn't go wrong. If anyone else meditates and has some good resource (particularly free ones), let me know.
I slept in today and have indulged myself in a delicious breakfast of coffee, sourdough bread and an egg. I am also watching the Ghost Hunters show, which is addicting. So far, it's a lovely day. I'm going to plant some basil and then maybe walk the dog or ride my bike or take a nap or read or watch twilight and then new moon and recycle my glass bottles or vacuum (did you know I love my new vacuum???).
Life is good. I love summer. Today I am accepting every moment as it is because it is as it should be.
Hallelujah! I love the last day of school, just as much as the first day. I love waving to the students as they leave on the buses. I love the celebrations, the food, and getting the hell outta there to go have a beverage. Normally I would be 10-12 drinks under, but this is a different year. It could very well be my first sober end of the last day. I did go for a celebration drink after school, but then went on to do more adultish responsible things. I went to the eye doctor and instead of going back to the bar (where inevitably I would spend too much money, and drink way too much) I came home and vacuumed. That's right. I said that correctly, I vacuumed. Instead of saving myself the going out money, I bought a vacuum this weekend. The Bissell Cleanview Helix was onsale this weekend for $75, I did some research and decided that this vacuum could be the one for me. I finally broke down and got it and haven't stopped vacuuming since. I LOVE IT! I don't think I've ever had a properly working vacuum until this one. I feel that even if it broke down right now, I would have got $75 dollars worth.
There are two awesome things I love about it: 1. the filters and canister are washable. This makes me feel so much cleaner, and probably IS cleaner, 2. it does everything - my wood floors, my carpets and has a great arm tool that allows me to reach the ceiling cobwebs.
Seriously, all I've done since I've put it together is vacuum. I love it. What's coming out of my carpet and floor is disgusting. Totally sick. I had no idea. My bedroom floors look almost new. It's only one step to get the pet hair up on my wood floor (before I was doing 3 - sweep, dry swiffer, wet swiffer). Who knew my life would change so drastically that a vacuum would be more entertainment than spending the afternoon/evening at the bar?!?!! I love it. Some people would think it's crazy, but I am so excited about my life and future and maturity. I love taking a step back and remembering where I came from. Plus, it's really empowering to make your own decisions (in a past life I would just stay at the bar until the last person left). I'm making a lot of my own decisions lately and they are such good decisions for me, always in my best interest. I love it. LOVE IT!
The best part about this school year was teaching reading and communication arts. I had the best time. The students were sooo successful, it made me very proud to see them being proud of themselves. The worst part was all the drama. These statements alone make me feel good about what I'm doing - I'm in the right place with the right attitude.
Cheers to sobriety, and cheers to clean floors (etc.), and cheers to doing absolutely nothing but what I want to do tomorrow! Yay summer.
last day of school morning pic - don't my floors look so clean, love that vacuum.
btw - I think this is before I did my hair, or not - either way, yikes!
Good Friends! I enjoyed time in Maysville playing the flute in the community/school band for the Memorial Day celebration (most of us in the pic played). We had a good ole cook out afterwards.
Celebration at the Station. I love that you can see all the people and the fancy tent that the Kansas City Symphony plays under. This is my friend Stacy and me, with her son Alex to the left. Good times!
Even though I have 1 and a half days left of this school year, the graduation and recognition are over signifying the end. Many people have asked me if this has been a rough year. There isn't an easy answer to this question. A lot of 'stuff' happened this year in our district, people were told they wouldn't have jobs, people resigned, people were bullied into resigning. In my department there was drama and crazy, which have not left a good taste in my mouth. In my classroom, it's been wonderful and successful. I couldn't have asked for a better position. In special education, I have had an okay year - not showing my best improvement on paperwork, but not having any epic fails either. I'm hoping that after a month of teaching Science in Summer School and a month of doing nothing but what I want that I can begin to look forward to the next year. But for now, I'm enjoying every last moment with the students, making sure they will miss me over the summer.
SIKE! But let's talk about the couch. I spend a fair amount of time watching television. Monday night is a particular favorite. I really like all the comedy sitcoms right in a row on my Channel 3. It starts off with How I Met Your Mother. I love this sitcom. I love Neil Patrick Harris (love). Then there's the show with David Spade - it's kinda a time filler. Then 2.5 men is on, which I generally enjoy, but it's also kinda gotten boring. Next, Big Bang Theory. I love, love this show. I love nerds and I had a big crush on Johnny Galecki when he was on Rosanne so it's a win-win show for me. Then I normally watch Castle, but it's not on tonight.
So I decided to write about my gathering thoughts from this weekend that were put into perspective by tonight's season finale of How I Met Your Mother.
I had a lot of thoughts, you all (my readers) probably thought I was bipolar this weekend. But really, I was just utilizing my blog as a means to get some thoughts out. I think a lot of being single and loneliness, it's enhanced with the recent engagement of my best guy friend, lack of social life, lack of social phone calls, and lack of money (obviously my life is LACKING). So I sit around and think, or do yard work and think, or clean the house and think - some of you know what I'm talking about. So first this weekend, I chose to write about the loneliness and then I did some positive thinking and wrote a positive, intuitive blog (or I like to think I did). Anyway - that came prior to going over to engaged friends house and partaking in a bbq of friends. While always a good time, I had a great conversation with another friend. It's interesting how we are in totally different places in life, yet going through some of the same things - at least the feelings are in the same spectrum. But it got me thinking about how hard I'm working to make my life the best it's ever been, but yet I continually allow myself to be beaten down by the single and 33 factor. I don't really know what it will take to get over that hump. I won't step backward or settle, I've worked to hard to move forward and change my life for the better. Which brings me back to the sitcoms, How I Met Your Mother, in particular. Tonight's episode put everything into perspective for me. I am not that person I was 5 years ago, 2 years ago, or even 6 months ago. I'm my doppelganger, a more amazing me.
It's a new day, a fresh start. Of all the things I do well in the classroom - this is by far my best. No matter what happened the day before, today is a new day, all things are forgiven and a new chance has been granted.
Today is a new day and fresh start for me. How I choose to change my attitude will result in the consequences that come with it. I will try to make good choices that result in positive consequences.
I think I must have run off all of my friends. No one even calls anymore. I'm not really throwing a pity party just being realistic. It's gonna be a hell of a lonely summer. Unless I butt in on all my married friends with kids lives. Then I would at least talk to someone during the day. I wouldn't have this problem if.....and this is where I'll stop so the pity party won't begin. I'll just say, I hate being the single person, and I am starting to really dislike this transition period I am in, even though there will be good at the end. I am so alone and sometimes it really sucks.
I was so excited for my bike ride today that when I got home and rushed around I put on a tshirt, my socks, shoes and then went to find my helmet - notice what's missing??? MY PANTS!! I almost forgot my pants...I was that excited.
Because I do not want to think about working, and have the advantage not to think about it right now, even though I am at work, I'm going to make a list of all the stuff I want to accomplish this summer. I am thankful for the time to accomplish stuff, and hopefully I make the choice to do so and have the funds.
1. Summer's here BBQ
2. front yard area - put in a little bird bath, plant some plants
3. cut down bushes in front
4. re-do kitchen: clean out everything, new spice holders, new dry goods holders, re-arrange
5. paint rooms: living room, bedroom
6. pull carpet in bedrooms
7. cleanout fence on south side
8. put new chainlink and possibly a few new posts in on south side
9. paint border in house
10. get new carpet for bedrooms, or finish with flooring - undecided, probably depend on funds
11. buy and install storm doors
12. put new weather strip on door
13. get big rocks out of bottom pond
14. replace big rocks
15. in August go to Minneapolis for Maure and family and art show
16. In July go to Okoboji for BRASL and boji fun
17. spend lots of time with freeman bambino
18. work out, ride my bike, take a swim, go to the lake
19. throw my momma a birthday party (June 12, if you wanna come)
20. Go to see Michael Buble (up close and personal like, if my mom takes me, they are her tickets).
21. ride my bike in the morning to get coffee.
22. Join CSA and learn to cook new organic veggies and meats
23. Remember everyday I don't go out or pass up a social event is a day closer to financial freedom and ultimate financial responsibility.
24. Go see movies, particularly excited about Eclipse
25. Meet some new people that do stuff I want to do also.
Who's there??? Who knows. I don't answer my door. Now that it is nice out, there are more people knocking. Sometimes I even yell through the door to go away, I'm not answering. If it was someone I knew, they would call or yell or something so I would know it was them.
Today I had someone knock on the door. I didn't even look to see who it was. Now, I want to take my bike out and get it on my car and head up to a park to ride and I feel trapped. I don't want someone to come up while I'm doing all this. I'm paranoid about it. Does this feeling ever go away?
And for the record - if my HOA stopped allowing people to solicit at our doors I would probably pay the dues. It would be worth it.
My job isn't mechanical or monotonous. It's not lists of to do's. It's not 9-5, or even 7-3. Every day is emotional. Every day is different. Every day is a challenge. I have to 'shoot from my hip'. I make split second decisions ever split second. I wear my heart on my sleeve. My job is all soul. My job is all heart. My job is all emotions.
I just left an amazing Parade of Bands. All the bands play. The crappy sounding beginning 5th grade band. The not-as-crappy sounding 6th grade band. The awesome sounding 7th grade band. Just as awesome 8th grade band. And the 1-rated High School band. The difference between the beginning 5th and 6th grade band and the rest - the directors. My good friend, brother, fellow alumnus, and cycling coach, Carrie Shuck. She is an amazing person and a just as amazing band director. She expects excellence and growth, demands it. The quality of band she produces, creates, is unlike that of any other small urban school district. So why is she leaving? Why did the school board edge her out? Why was she pulled in and told her contract wouldn't be renewed - by the school board? (Nothing to do with principles or fellow co-workers or even parents). I don't think I will ever know why a certain board member had it out for her. What's worse is that he has risen to presidential standings and been applauded. It makes me sick. Maybe 'they' don't know what they are going to miss. Maybe they don't know how hard it is to find a quality band director. Wait, they don't know, because the band director they found - his band got a 4 rating a contest. So bad it's almost unheard of.
I walked out of Parade of Bands. They announced the school board and applauded their excellence before they recognized Carrie and her extraordinary work. They congratulated them on their new appointments before announcing that Carrie was leaving along with the 6th grade band director - whom they didn't explain that she was told in October that she would not have a job next year. I guess they are getting rid of that position.
I couldn't contain my anger as the superintendent walked in late and stood 2 people beside me. I was slightly crying and then just couldn't contain it. I couldn't get myself back together to say congratulations to all my students that are in band. Or to my friends that conduct it. I had to leave. I walked five blocks home, crying, cursing every step about unfairness, inequality, quantity over quality, money decisions deciding the fate of the future education of our children. This is why politics aren't for me.
Here is a snake that I found wound up in some netting in my backyard (netting was to cover the pond and keep leaves/birds out). I decided to free him and let him live. Moments after I took this picture - Maizey (cat) started playing with him...but I believe he is still alive and not dead.
BTW - if anyone has any great ideas on how I can get two rocks about 200 lbs each out of the pond, let me know. If you are willing to help, that's even better.
Not a fantastic pic, but I love the sweater and necklace I'm wearing. This is before Natalie's baby shower on Sunday. By far the best baby shower ever. Short, sweet, good food, no games!!
My life is so exciting. I'm so glad I can share it with you. (that's sarcasm people).
Lately I'm finding it incredibly hard to live within the moment and just enjoy the life I've created. I hate wasting time on being unhappy. I know it's a choice - I just haven't been able to make the choice. Today was particularly rough, while I should have been enjoying my friend and all the great things going on for her, I felt as if I was being punished and beat down. I really am so selfish and angry. I'm not quite sure where to put the feelings, but I need to find someplace useful - working out, new hobby, cleaning, yard work.... I really hate wasting my time on these angry, sad, depressed feelings.
