workin' for the weekend....

So that I can work on the weekend! But that is finally over - there are no more volleyball tournaments on Saturdays. I have 3 more games left and they are this week and then next Monday we will have our awards banquet and done. I will reflect more on it later - it was an interesting year and I have a lot to reflect on and a lot to say about it.

I went to a great wedding last night - the reception was at Starlight Amphitheatre - which hosts lots of broadway events and concerts. It was GORGEOUS!!! I loved it, and had a great time. One of the best wedding events ever. I love that venue.

Lots of stress at work, with friends at their work - basically urban education is a sinking ship. We need help - please, someone in the high up - HELP US! I'm contemplating a move to the outer suburbs just to get out of the sinking ship. But I have a good thing at Center, and it stops me, until once again am faced with the knowledge that my good thing could crash down on me at any moment of any day. I will also shout about this as stuff moves on and I hear more final things.

I have stress at home - many of my readers know why. I will not write about it on here because my paranoia runs high. But I will say that I am making lots of home improvements! I have ordered my flooring and just have to go pick it up. I will have a few new, beautiful looking doors. I can't wait till the flooring is done. I am doing it by myself (with friends) but if anyone knows anyone that has experience doing it and will work for beer/sandwiches and a good time - please give me a call.

Lots going on, I am very excited about the impending ending of volleyball so that I can take a bit of a breath.

ugh...coaching middle school volleyball

I normally love this and rave about it, but tonight, I'm angry. My girls played their 4th game tonight and they are still standing around on the court, not going for the ball and watching it drop. It's infuriating. They have the skills - they can do it in practice....why can't they perform?
Any coaching advice? Remember I coach urban girls and most of them, this is their first year playing. Do I need to settle down? Or how can I light a fire under their ass so they go for the ball? Should I use tough love? Should I yell? Should I get as irate as I feel right now? Should I bribe them? Should I run them until they puke? What...what do I need to do to make them want the ball and want to get some points on the board?

Rawr. Coach Steen is pissed.

Free Time...

I don't have much free time, but when I have, I've been doing stuff to my house. Everything is slow going, and dependent on how much money I have at the time. Lately, I've had ZERO, so everything I've done has had to be with stuff I already have.

So the past few weeks I've tackled and started some projects. The first was to investigate flooring. I went to Nebraska Furniture Mart and found exactly what I wanted on sale for $1.69 sq yard. I have been going through the process with them. I won't actually order anything until next weekend. I've been debating on trying to accomplish this project myself and with the help of friends and family. It's only 300 square yards, and would save me hundreds of dollars that I don't have anyway. So all those decisions will have to be final next week. I have already ripped up the carpet. My friend, Natalie came over and we just did it. It was a Friday afternoon and took all of 15 minutes. Here is what we found:













It's pretty funky. After a week of the carpet being gone (and I got it all thrown away, talk about luck). I am feeling good, lung wise. I haven't had any asthma at night even though we are in the height of allergy season. My house smells better. It was just a really good decision. It may take me a while to get the flooring in, but once that is all accomplished, it will be so pretty!!

I also was having some problems with my bathroom sink. The water pressure was really low, I couldn't even really wash my hands in there anymore. Thank god for the internet, I researched all that and figured out that first I needed to check the faucet. Somehow, I figured out how to get it off and realized that the little plastic piece inside was clogged. My dad came over and cleaned it up with a needle, and now it works perfectly!

I decided a few days ago to finally tackle the ever growing yellow jacket in-ground nest in my front yard. I did a lot of research (again, thank goodness for the internet) and found some more humane ways of trying to rid them. I am not a fan of putting lots of chemicals on my yard. I've got an outdoor cat who is all over the place. I don't want her to get sick or bring the chemicals into the house. So I read in a few places that soap will make their nest inhabitable. Many people had put hot/boiling water in a bucket with dishsoap and then poured it down the nest. They left the bucket over the nest for a few days. Well I did this, but couldn't get the bucket to stay over the nest (I was scared!!). But it did kill a lot of them.













There are still some buzzing around, so I might give it a week and then try it again. I never got stung, but I did have a neighbor walk by my house right after I did it and she got stung. She wanted to investigate the bucket in front of my house with the suds. I think she thought there were flies around it and went up to see if it smelled. She got stung twice! That will teach her to sniff around people's buckets in their front yard...ha.

Anyway, all this house stuff can be frustrating at times. It really makes me think about being single and wonder why I am single. I hate doing all this alone. I hate that I have to tackle some of this stuff alone. I do see how strong I am and how much I can handle, but it really makes me want to have a partner to help with these awful tasks. I know he's coming, I'm just really tired of waiting.

Cycling for Change 20 mile Bike ride

The Electra did it. I did my first bike ride for charity. My friend Suzanne works for Catholic Charities and put on a Cycling for Change. A friend of mine, Carrie, suggested we ride the 20 mile. Since, I normally go on rides around 12-15 miles, I thought, sure why not, sounds great. And then I saw the map of where we would be riding and became very nervous, and even a little overwhelmed/psycho about it. But I said I would do it, and so I would. I never do much street riding. Even around my neighborhood, I live on the Trolley trail and next to the Blue River Trail, so I don't have any need to get on the street much. And here I was riding 20 miles, all street during the day on Saturday in some of the worst neighborhoods in KC. It wasn't the neighborhoods or the traffic that I was worried about...it was the hills. You see, I'm not much of a hill person. I don't do them well, I'm slow and am usually hard of breath after I go up one. This ride was full of long drawn out hills. I need to preface the beginning with my frustration for the ride coming out on not being able to get my front tire on my bike. So the start of all this was a jumbled mess - not unlike any situation I've had with a bike (ie. smashed my last phone before a bike ride). Anyway, I got the tire on and changed my attitude and we got the show on the road, literally. The first few blocks were down hill and then we came to a hill, steep long incline of a hill. I got behind, couldn't breathe, was all around frustrated. I tried to shift and my chain fell off. Thankfully the Electra is a really nice bike and it was really easy to get the chain on. But then I had to get on the bike half way up the hill and start up it again. Huffing and puffing, almost crying, I finally made it up. My thoughts were final, I was not ready emotionally or physically for this. I could not do this. That straggler van can come pick me up! But my good friend and at that moment coach, Carrie, made me keep going. Even though in my mind, I was fine just making it to the first stop. I felt fine at the first stop (which was Grinder's). Ironically, I didn't know this was the first stop, I thought it was supposed to be a little later on at a community center. So went the community center came and went, the joke was on me. I found myself riding up another hill. Things went better this time. I had, what Suzanne called the sheparder, with me (and had from that first hill). She is a 'real' bicyclist. Anyway, she stayed around only as long as I needed her. A real guardian angel. After I made it halfway, she must have realized that I had the confidence to finish because she went on to do her own ride. I thanked God a lot that she was there for the first half that day. I'm also really thankful that Carrie was there cheering me on. More importantly, after that first hill, I was there cheering myself on. The scenery was totally worth it. The experience of urban street riding was worth it. Seeing my parents at the end waiting for me was surprising, but totally priceless. I'm adding a video on here that my mom took. She didn't know her camera was on video mode though. Anyway - it's me coming in from the ride. I look forward to many more rides. Charity or no charity - it's nice just to get out and ride.

decided the postive notes were cool

Not really tooting my own horn, just reminding myself that I am a pretty cool gal. I gotta think about the positive right now, because emotionally - I can't go much further down without seeing it's detriments.

1. Tomorrow I'm doing a 20 mile bike ride through the city. I'm totally psyched, and yet a bit intimidated. I'm determined to make it, even if I have to get out and push it up a hill.

2. I really have an amazing support system. I often forget about them when there's nothing going on and they are quiet - but they are always on my side, big event or not.

3. Because I have such an amazing support system, it makes me feel very grateful and blessed. I always try to return the love, I hope that gets across.

positive

1. I finally found my overhand serve in volleyball.

2. I have been tenured with my district and have no more summative evaluations to go through.

3. I am going to get the laminate flooring after all.

4. The other day I saw (in my mind) that I am becoming the person I've set out to be.

A back to school thoughts

-I always look forward to school coming and the schedule, but I love summer and it's endless possibilities.

-Volleyball. I love coaching it. It gives me a satisfaction that nothing else in life has given me. It takes up a lot of time and drives me to utilize my plan time to the very last second.

-New clothes. I always hope my new school clothes will be a smaller size. Not this year, even with the change in diet and more activity - it hasn't quite paid off for me yet. I think as I get older I have to have even more activity (working out)to lose any weight.

-Like being back in the classroom. But in hindsight, I really liked being a facilitator and having the opportunity to work with LOTS of kids. I also liked working really closely with the other adults. I've always thought that I would like to someday go back to managing - the ultimate goal being a principal or process coordinator. But I really don't think so. I think I'm just fine teaching, and teaching different stuff every year has made me into somewhat of a jack of all curriculum.

-I am more social this year than any year since I've been at Center (5th year). I love it. I love being able to be social and friendly. I've been kinda overloaded in the past and had to have a game face nearly all day with the kids I worked with. This year is starting off wonderfully. I hope that I can continue the friendliness.

-Decided to go organic - but can't afford it. So I just switched my milk to organic. I found one I like and they sell it in bulk at Sam's (horizon). I guess it'll have to happen a little at a time - much like the stores around here. I also buy some other things organic if it's a good deal.

-I am happy that I am finished with the last wedding that I will ever be a bridesmaid in. Happily married and in love people are just making me sick right now. I find that I'm not necessarily jealous in a green envy kind of way - but I really want that. It makes me sad that I don't have that and can't seem to fall into it. (Because I know you can't FIND it - I know that when you stop looking is when you seem to find it...:P *I'm leering when I say this because I'm tired of people saying it to me, like I haven't heard it before - like I really get out and look for it?!! Spare me.)

-It's 10:32 and I can't believe I'm not asleep - I stayed up late baking cookies. :) Now I must go!

For all you American Idiots

a new kind of hangover...

I have a lot of thoughts running through my mind. Here they are in no particular order...

-I watched that show, Big Love - the reality bachelor series with the fat people on it. I hate it. How stupid. Those girls need therapy! Most of them thought that people wouldn't love them because they were big. It was a sad, depressing and pathetic show. God, how are they going to feel when they get rejected by a guy on TV, not to mention their weight was put up there beside their name when they were introduced. They don't do that during the 'regular' bachelor - Here's Candy, she's 5'9" and weighs 98 lbs and is a size -10. I hate it. You wanna know what's wrong with America today - watch reality tv, while eating a super sizer from McD's...(I didn't do that last part!)

-I tried to mask my loneliness this summer with getting to know myself better and liking myself more. While, eventually I think this summer will turn out to be a turning point in my life, it was really lonely and at times VERY depressing.

-I see a lot of good things in myself, a lot more than I ever have. But there are times that are so frustrating. I know what I want to do and how to change it and when to do it, but something - some really frustrating obstacle/block - is not allowing my to get through and get to it. I almost feel like I'm waiting for a personal cheerleader, but I know that I just have to do it by myself. This makes me incredibly sad and angry and emotional because I don't want to be alone, I don't want to do this all alone. This feeling is at the surface of everything right now and I'm just not shaking it as easily as I have in the past.

-Some days I want to go somewhere else (far away) and start again, like a do over. But I feel so grounded here and unable to really go so I just stay.

-Organic, shouldn't it cost less? It is more cost effective with less pesticides and freshners going on it. Also, why doesn't everyone carry organic stuff - meat, veggies, fruit? I'm going to have to go to Whole foods or Whole Paycheck as the Morgan's call it. Because, folks, I'm going to go as organic as I can, just a personal decision.

-I'm actually ready for school to start. I've enjoyed my time during the month of July - the weather has been perfect. I saw a few people, did some stuff overall just tried to enjoy my time by myself or with friends. But I'm ready to move it on to something else. If it wasn't school, I would need a real vacation away from here or something else - camp? I don't know, just needing to move on.

-I wish Maggie (my dog) could tell me about her dreams. They are so full of yipping and growling, whining and moving.

All the single ladies

Ahhh...bachelorette parties. Naughty gifts, penis straws, strippers, and gaggles of screaming girls are all thoughts that come to mind when I think about this kind of event. That was nothing like the event I planned on Saturday. It was to be a nice intimate, but educational event. I was very happy with the decorations. I had chosen lots of color with crazy daises (thank you Mary), boas, and sunglasses. This was easy and fun looking. Everything went as planned. I was really only disappointed in how loud the room was - but I'm the one that picked it, I just did not remember it ever being that loud. One person couldn't talk loud enough for everyone to be heard. I had planned a beer tasting, since I had it at a brewery. It was entirely too loud for that, plus people filtered in at their own times - some people were an hour later than the event time (to each their own). So, I personally don't think the beer tasting was a success. Although, I still like the idea. A wine tasting would also be fun for a shower or bachelorette party.
Everything else was wonderful and sweet (like the bride). My friend, Natalie, made these sugar cookies that are to die for. Bethany's sister, Dawn, brought a really fun game to play. I got fantastic discounts for me when I paid the bill thanks to great friends at KCHops.

Mary and I were going to go around Waldo for an afterparty, but we didn't get to do much of that.
We ended up over at a friends house, celebrating a birthday. It was a great time, so much so, that I didn't leave til 5 am. Ridiculous. I came home and crashed (in my mind I was 10 years younger, partying like it was 1999). I was going to be getting up in a few hours and heading to CoMo to spend some much needed time with Alicia (and fam). Because I am actually 10 years older than I thought I was, I slept through 3 alarms and multiple phone calls and texts and didn't wake up until 10:15am, 15 minutes after I was supposed to be there. What a jerk I am. If only I'd partied like I was 32, not 22. Alicia is very forgiving - but I let myself down, I was very upset about this and still am. Another blog to come about how to deal with personal disappointment soon.

Those feelings aside, I think Saturday was successful. I'm mostly happy with the party I threw and still impressed by the amount of beer I can drink (sarcasm anyone?!) I learned, again, that nothing good happens after 1:00am and it's okay to excuse yourself from the party and go home and that regardless of the fun your having, if you're over 30, you probably should just do that.

My new Bike!!!

I went out and bought my dream bike today. I spent a pretty penny on it, but it will be totally worth it.




I bought it from Epic Bike and Sports
They were wonderful! I can't say enough nice stuff about this store. I want everyone to take their bike business to them. I've been to about 4-5 other places here in KC - prominent bike stores - and they blew all those places out of the water with their niceness and professional, yet fun, attitudes.

Anyway - They order the bike tomorrow and hopefully I'll have it end of next week or the week after. I really can't wait. This is almost as exciting as buying my house. I just knew it was right and the right thing to do at that moment.

Go to this!

This is an excellent musical fest put on by friends of mine at Spice of Life Productions

I will be there. Guaranteed a good time and the best bands in KC!

I heart Jillian Michaels!

I give this workout video two thumbs up! It's short and to the point. I'm panting and sweating the whole time which is only like 25-30 minutes. Plus, I really like Jillian's way of doing things - blunt and motivating. She kinda pisses me off, which makes me work harder. No pain = no gain, and this will definitely let you know you are doing something!

Goals

I mentioned in my last post about goals I have currently and decided to challenge myself to put them in writing. Just so you know, currently means - right now, today and tomorrow my goals might be all different or just the same. I'm a very moment oriented person.

Life Goals:
1. travel: everywhere, anywhere. I want to go outside of the US every summer and inside the US every spring break.
2. enjoy life: I have a hard time sometimes doing this because I'm constantly analyzing mine, I find so many things wrong or criticize myself so much that I miss out on the good time or am too depressed to go out and get the good time.
3. marriage and family: I go back and forth on this. I'm patient, yet not. I very much want a child, it would be nice to have a husband before the child. However, I am getting older and so what happens will happen.
4. be active: I want to live a very active life. I have started this, and hope to continue it and graduate to higher levels of it as the year goes on. It seems to help out on #2 and will also help me be a healthier individual.
5. no debt: I've been working on this for almost a full year. I am closer, but no medal yet. This is important to fund goal #1.


I'm stopping with 5 because they will start overlapping and repeating. These are the base of my goals. If I achieve these I will achieve all others that I want to do. This isn't my bucket list. This is just a list of stuff I'm working on currently. Number two seems to be the most challenging right now, I believe because of the great amount of time I've been spending by myself.

Speaking of Adventures

I've thought a lot lately about my future and what I'd like to do with it, I've blogged about it before. I think the realization that I've come to is that being a teacher, staying a teacher is probably my best decision. Out of natural progression, I want to move up or on and be a principal or teach at a college level, but those jobs do not give me summers off and easy schedules or coaching opportunities. So, looking at my big life goals, I've decided a teacher is good enough. I will be taking some praxis's to get other certificates so that I can move from sped to reg ed or elementary ed. But for now, I think I've decided that this is the best way to go to achieve the goals I have currently.

Adventures lie ahead.

I did not find the dang spider. I finally went to bed, I saw the morning news come one before my eyes shut. I'll have to some searching today. Now that it is light and I'm not so deliriously tired, I think that I'll have a better chance at it.
I do feel kind of stupid for my reactions, but I hate spiders and it was late.

Everyday is a surprise. I'm going over to Natalie's for coffee and then who knows. Adventures lie ahead.

sleeping, it's overrated.

So. I cannot sleep. I was going to drift off into peaceful slumber by now, however while I was sitting on the couch getting ready to turn off the TV and go to bed I saw the biggest spider come out of my room and then jaunt back in. Therefore, I cannot sleep. I'm such a freak about this stuff. If I could just find it, I would kill it and feel fine. But I cannot reasonably go in there and sleep knowing that a huge ass spider is in there too. It's bad enough that I have my trusty bug killer (the swiffer) within reach at all times. I will probably have to sleep on the couch tonight - if I indeed sleep. What a horrible phobia. It was just so big though, probably bigger than a half dollar. ugh. If it would just come out of hiding, I would kill it and all would be better.
Good thing it's the summer and I can sleep all day tomorrow after I furiously clean my room and scour every inch looking for the beast. Of course, it has to be daylight when I do that. The beasts are weaker in the daylight, or I'm stronger - either way I sound idiotic. This is when being single or living alone hurts the worst.

it's just like riding a bike

I have such enthusiasm for riding bikes. I want to do it and have been on the search for a bike for some time now. My friend gave me a mountain bike yesterday and I had it fixed up. So last night I decided to go on a bike ride and see how it feels before venturing out for coffee this morning. Well, my area is pretty hilly - but sheesh, I went maybe a quarter of a mile and couldn't do it anymore. I turned around and made it home but had to sit around for a minute and get my breath back together. So I decided the biking to the coffee shop would be a goal rather than a starting place. So I drove there this morning, but while there I rode Natalie's cruiser (she did ride to the coffee shop) and it was so much easier. Of course there weren't huge hills and the bike fits me better. I don't know where in MO I'll find a place that's flat, it won't be my neighborhood. But I'm sure I'll work up to getting to and fro. At this point I couldn't even make it to Corner Cocktail (local bar - about 3 blocks away, up a hill). Small steps. And while I'm making them I'm looking for a bike to purchase. I think this will be a hard find. If I'm going to spend $$$ I want a bike that is perfect for me. I think this process has been frustrating, and will continue to be, but in the end will pay off.

If you ever come visit me, I will be taking you to this little coffee shop in Waldo (that I hope to ride my bike to someday). It's called One More Cup, and I'm in love with their Toddy's (cold brewed coffee). Delish!

hindsight is always 20/20

I had a brush with past on Friday night. Not in the form of a person, or act, but in the form of a beautiful frothy delicious beverage that once I started imbibing, I could not stop. I was taken back to the days of yore (circa year 18-30), drunk and blissfully ignorant. It was just a reminder of why I chose to end that lifestyle and begin a new one (not that I needed a reminder, I love my new one). I'm happy to have left all that drinking and whatnot behind. I don't mind having some drinks, being buzzed but coherent. I do not miss the nights of binging and racing to the end of the glass just to order another. I don't miss smokey bars and disrespectful men. I don't even miss the crazy stories. I sit here today and would rather be the boring, hang out at my/a house kinda gal. If you were present during my drinking days you might have never thought this would come out of my mouth or that I would actually grow into becoming the person I am. I'd like to say that I could still drink you under the table, for what that is worth, but I'm going to have to resign to the fact that at one time in my life I could have and would have.
But today, I am a woman that would rather not. I'd rather enjoy my time buzzed and available to have a good conversation.

My mamasita

Happy Birthday to my Mama! We went out to mexican at Manny's for her birthday dinner and then went and played mini-golf. It was a really good night.
This is a picture after we did her Tequila birthday shot, which I personally think should become a tradition.