Yes folks, it's winter

And so, I find myself using this site as a rant rather than here's what's happening to me. Here's my latest rant.

It snowed today, most schools got out a little early. I, the lucky one, have to be at work by 7am, so that means I'm outta there on a regular day at 3. Today, we got out around 2:15. It had snowed for several hours by then and was bitterly cold. But it's winter in the Midwest. We've had snow/ice/sleet already this year, this time is no different. It seems though that Midwesterners have several deficits in their short term memory. Everyone forgets how to drive in the snow. I live maybe like 7-10 minutes away from my job. It took me a whole 30 minutes or more to get home today - and the roads had already been sanded and scooped. CRAZY!! I understand wanting to be safe, but really.... Previous to my experience, we had been looking at the weather on the internet and there had been several car pile-ups on the highways already. There was a 35 car pile up north. There was a 7 car pile up out west. Seriously - do we really not know how to drive or do we forget that this weather is the weather we're supposed to have, not the a45-50 degree weather we had the other day. Maybe when it gets above 40 our brains automatically dispose of the winter weather advisory. Maybe we go into gearing up for spring and start thinking about newness and buds on the trees and flowers and that fills our brain, rather than, hmm...oh...say....the fact that it's winter and we had 6 inches of snow just 8 days ago.

Anyhow - that's my "people don't know how to drive" rant.

and so on and so on and so on

Someone sent me this questionnaire on myspace. It has intriguing questions so I thought I'd blog it instead, for those that actually read this, you can know a little more about me.


1. Ever punch someone in the face? no, but on a daily basis I say "I"m going to kick you in the face and make you bleed" don't ask me why...

2. How old are you? 29

3. Are you single or taken? single

4. Eat with your hands or utensils? both

5. Do you dream at night? yes, usually in color

6. Ever seen a corpse? on tv, at a funeral, that's it

7. Have you ever wished someone dead? no - you'd have to really hate someone for that.

8. Do You Like Bush, the president? not really, seems kinda unintelligent, stubborn


HERE COMES THE EQUALLY INTERESTING PART...

9. Whats your philosophy on life and death? die to live, don't live to die

10. If you could do anything , and have no one know, what would it be? ohhh...ummmm...if I did it, I would tell people because that's how I do it - woman of very few secrets.

11. Do you trust the police? yes

12. Do you like country music? yes

13. What is your fondest memory? I have so many - probably be creating static electricity with my brother in the backseat of the car, making my dad mad...but it was great, we made lightening with our fingers...

14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be? what do you think...I would wear a size 12 until I died

15. Who do you want to date? Jack Black, of course

16. What do you wear to sleep? depends on the temperature, but normally I wear pajamas

17. Have you ever peed in a pool? yes...you have too

18. Would you hide evidence if you committed a crime? No, I'd turn myself in

19. If you only had one day to live, what would you do? Whatever I wanted

20. What is your favorite thing? my electric blanket

21. Do you think your attractive? yes, I"m damn sexy

22. What's your favorite color? probably yellow, but I like a lot of colors

23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be? My grandpa Barnes

24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you? I play the oboe

stressed

There are so many things that have been going on in my mind that I could blog about. BUT, for some reason, I just can't ever seem to bring myself to actually sit here and write about them. There's some ironically funny stories to tell, but yet again, why...I'm not into entertaining right now.
I'm struggling. Struggling with life. I'm sure there are several reasons as to my struggle, but I believe it probably all boils down to the fact that I'll be 30 soon, and the life I wanted to be living..I'm not. While I am academically and career-wise successful...there's not much else I've been successful at. I know, I know - that's a lot, and a lot more than some people have...I acknowledge that and most of the time it gives me some solace. But right now..I don't think there's much solace out there for me. I'm pretty stressed out about my current situation. Not really at all happy about it. Am I changing it? Sometimes.

I really do see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I am usually optimistic. I don't believe pessimism really gets you anywhere, but down. So...I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party, although I love to party..but I'm just trying to write down some real feelings about how I am today. Maybe tomorrow will be different, or later tonight, and I'll feel like bringing some entertainment to your day - because I got some good ones stored up.

iphone rant

So, Mac, has come out with an i-phone. It's amazing, because it has an 'i' in front of it. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to hate on MAC....but c'mon. You have to see that there are a million phones out there already that do the same stuff!! Just because it's MAC doesn't mean that it's soo much better. In fact, it looks very similar to a phone sprint came out with a while ago that had a PDA built in. Plus it's huge, like the size of your hand from middle finger tip to the bottom of your palm. Does anyone have a phone that big anymore??? Didn't think so.

I would be impressed if the iphone could do something that the rest of the phones didn't do, you know, like not drop calls, never lose service, clean the house, wash the dishes, replace trashcan liners.....you know - it would be amazing then. But alas, it doesn't. And it will drop calls, and it will have areas where there is no service and it will clog up the internet and so all the Wi-Fi places will run slow. (I don't really know about that, just wanted to throw it in...)

Anyway, my thoughts are...just think about it before you get all goo-goo eyed and buy a $500 phone for the name. You can get something similar damn near free elsewhere.

The post everyone's been waiting for....

As Oprah says, "Live your best life."

Here are my goals for 2007:

-continue working out (make it my new bar)
-change my eating habits (and drinking)
-save money, not off to a good start on this...but will happen in 2007
-continue to organize my life stuff
-keep my car clean (haven't cleaned it out from 2006...)
-go to church, get involved in something the church does

How will I be striving to live my best life:
-be healthy, mentally, physically, and socially
-challenge myself daily
-be happy with my single life, really live it up
-give myself some rewards for the good changes I make


Okay - there it is, my little key to continued success in my happy life.

New Years and other such idiodicies

Well, at the last moment I went out of town this weekend for new years. I spent it with good friends and really fun times. It was exactly what I wanted, even though I didn't know it.

On Jan. 1st I got home about 5ish and prepared to go and spend the night in Loose Park. We had to be ready to book a friends wedding date for the rose garden on Jan. 3rd. We heard that people would start lining up around 4:30AM...so as the maid of honor, of course I felt obligated to agree to do such a crazy thing. Well the groom went to case the park around 8pm. There were already people there!! So we hurriedly got ready and went up to spend the night in Loose Park. We had coffee, clothes, snacks, blankets, chairs, hats, gloves, socks, and more coffee. So we get up there and soon after more people come, and then more...and all of a sudden we're having a slumber party of 7-8 dates...dates for their wedding that is. No one knew each others names, just the dates of the wedding. My friend and I were referred to as May 12. We really didn't have a realistic idea of what we were doing or how cold it got. On two different occasions we took turns going out to the car and warming up. It was really weird to have frost on my jacket, sleeping bag, and anything else that was laying around. I saw a falling star in the early morning which was very exciting. I met lots of other crazy people and I got to do something really great for my friend. But...I don't think I will ever sleep outside during the middle of winter again.
So, for all those whom I haven't called back or wished a happy new year - many apologies.

Tomorrow I start back to school. UGH!!!! But I"m happy for the routine. I'll let you know how it goes, for now - this girls gotta go to bed!

A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE?!?!?!

So yes, over Christmas it became very clear, clear as a small brown mouse, that I have mice in my house. I'm not dirty so don't go being judgmental....but I live in a freekin old house that hasn't been taken too good care of. All of you know this that have been reading my blogs, so this shouldn't be any surprise. My parents bought me traps (I was going to, but haven't been to the store) and so I put one out today. I put out a mouse trap, knowing full well that it would trap a mouse. I've thought this through several times. So, about 12:30 (half an hour ago) I'm sitting her and pop - I hear a mouse trap. I didn't know what to do. I sat here, told Maggie (my dog) to go look, she's pitiful and didn't, so I went and stuck my head in the kitchen and on the floor is a trap turned over. At first I thought maybe the mouse got away, but then I noticed the tail sticking out. I'm going to go back and make sure it's still there....okay, I think it's still there. Now, when I envisioned myself taking care of this situation...I saw myself picking up the mouse/trap and all with a gloved hand and many plastic bags and just throwing it all away. But the moment it snapped, I knew....there is no way in freaking hell I can pick up the dead mouse (hopefully dead) and the trap. I shouldn't have to do it....there should be someone here to help me...I shouldn't have to deal with this stuff alone. So now, I'm mad again that I have to do this stuff alone. Dammit...I just don't think it should be this way, and I don't understand why it is.

I've got a lot to write about

So it's been a while and I've got about 6, maybe 7 blogs saved up to write. I'll attempt as many as I can tonight.

Texas - I visited Texas on the Weekend of the 8-11. It was a really good friend from Northwests birthday, so I took a little trip out to visit her and her wifey, I'll call them B & D from here on out. (I try to protect peoples identity since I don't normally write and ask them if it's okay before blogging) Anyhow...I actually flew into College Station, Texas. It was the smallest airplane I have ever flown on!! Very different experience...I'd like to stick to the big ones...I just don't think small ones are for me....
But I got there and we celebrated 30 years of B's life all weekend. It was absolutely a good time! I learned something while I was in Texas...I learned that it is good for your health to have a big belly laugh at least once a day. And so, let's all have one -pause for belly laugh- okay, that was good...we'll do it again tomorrow. It was a good time and I'm so glad I got to spend B's 30th with her.

Christmas - I had a fab Christmas. Got to see lots of people, had lots of people stay over including my cousin and her husband. It was good to see them. I got to spend some good time with my brother. I love it when we can hang out. He gave me this absolutely fantastic computer - which will probably be recurring on the blogs because I am in love with it.
Christmas was great....I was surrounded by family!

New Years - I have a whole list of stuff to write...but I'm putting that in another blog. Right now, I'm going to give you my list of options for New Years so that someone can make a decision because I haven't....

In no particular order
Robert and Samara's house in Cameron (will be a fun party, no doubt)
Alan and Jacque's house in Maysville (brian will be there....)
Natalie's house (guaranteed a good time!!)
Record Bar (love going out, but probably is way to costly for me)
Shannon & Andrew's (they'll just be getting back to Clarinda so I've crossed it off)
stay home by myself and cry
Waldo has a ball drop, I could always enjoy that

I am leaning on Natalie's house, but kinda swaying toward Robert and Samaras or Alan and Jacque's.......ugh...

A picture is worth a thousand words

OR a trip to the gym everyday this week and vegetables for dinner. I am still not understanding why I feel one way and see that in the mirror, and then look at a picture and see another person standing there. Someone I don't know. Someone that looks like they weigh 300 pounds... I don't feel like that. I don't even feel overweight most of the time, although I am.
Anyway, I printed the picture and hopefully, it'll take me to the gym more and make me eat healthier, so next time I take a picture - I'll really look like I feel.

Finally, there are presents under my tree...

It just doesn't much feel like Christmas is less than a week away. I'm floored by how fast the first part of the school year has gone. Whoosh, there goes the time! I didn't even blink.

The nice thing is that I have 4 1/2 days left of work, and then I'm going to take a long break. Well, it's like a week and a 1/2, but I'm going to try and make it feel long. I will be working some during the break, I'm building a proposal for a Behavior Disorder Program for our district. I have to give that on the 3rd of Jan. I'm looking to put that into place for next year and then maybe move over to the Alternative School, I'm not sure about it...but I know that I need more chaos to entertain me. I miss the chaos and the behaviors. I really would like to work with much needier kiddos. Plus, my supervisor is very snippy with me most of the time now, and if I can choose not to work with that, I'd really rather not.

Other than work, there's not much going on. I'm struggling with life and what I want to make of it. It's such a blessing to have this beautifully blank canvas in front of you....and any color you want...but I'm really struggling with what I want the complete picture to look like. I know, I know, I should just start drawing....and I'm getting there...

Merry Christmas to everyone! I'll try to write more when I'm not working this holiday.

The first snow day

It's the first snow day of the year! Yay! I haven't really marked it with any tradition yet. I wanted to bake cookies, but I haven't started that process yet...everything is going really slow today. We're actually supposed to get snow today (we had ice yesterday) but now they are saying we are not getting as much snow as they say we are going to...so oh well. I was hoping for another day off.

I never thought I would be the owner of a dog that needed a sweater. Well guess what? This wussy, Maggie, needs a sweater. I can't afford to keep my house nice and toasty, so she just sits there and shakes. I know she's just faking it, but good lord. SO I'm going to go buy her a sweater and see how that works...maybe she'll be warmer then. Anything for the dog.

So I spent last night putting plastic up on my windows. I actually all but two done. I'm not really sure that it helped a whole lot, there is still a draft. But I think it helped a little. I probably should put heavy material up over them as well to help keep the draft up, but a girl can only afford so much. I still have a few things to do to help keep my house a little warmer and we'll see if those work at all. I can't believe I live in such a place....but here I am, with the draft, the spidercrickets, mice and who knows what else.

For those of you that read and know MJ, today is her bday - so happy birthday to her!

Thanksgiving!!

Hooray for Thanksgiving and the 3 days I get offa work! I'm so excited to have the time to collect myself, veg, do whatever I want, and not worry about getting up in the morning.

So tonight I am getting prepared for the dinner. I have to go and buy some things still, so I'll do that. Then I might make a dessert or two.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! I hope yours is as family filled and enjoyable as mine will be. Much love!

It's just me...

This posting is dedicated to living alone. Cheers to you (don't know if any are out there) that live alone, all by yourself.....that means no other human being is in the house right now....or at least one that claims residency 3 out of 7 days of the week.

So lately, I've been a real baby about having to do things myself. I found a mouse in my house, myself. I had to take care of my dead hamster, myself. I have to wash the dishes, myself. I have to clean the house and do the laundry, myself. I have to deal with the spidercrickets, myself.
I'm just tired of it. I at least wish I had someone else to blame the unwashed dishes on...but no, only myself. My clothes are put up, it's my fault. Need to vacuum...just me.
Actually the latter doesn't bother me as much as having to deal with the mouse and bugs and dead hamster by myself do. I guess it makes me stronger...but what woman wants to actually be that strong. I can do everything on my own, even when I think I can't. What man is gonna want a woman like that?


Tried to give you some time to ponder, but not too much. I still think that sometime at some point ( I might be 80 and in the home) I will find someone to bury my hamsters and fight the spidercrickets with me. But Jesus, I hope he comes sooner than later (and preferably not when I"m 80, even though I said that)...amen.

Papa Murphy's

I used to eat papa murphy's with my room mates every sunday or so. For some reason I left that tradition back in the northland. But I think it would be a good one to bring back. I got this flyer in the mail and it looks goood!

I love Saturday mornings! I'm getting ready to clean the house, do some laundry, maybe mow the leaves (which I still haven't done). It's supposed to be beautiful here today until after thanksgiving! Like in the 70's! Rock! Although, surprise me with two days of snowdays (monday and tuesday) and I'll be elated.

I have a friend on youtube now. You can watch him do his magic. I think it's rather funny and entertaining -that's why I'm sharing it. If you want to know who it is (because you might not know) email me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVC-MTHzRjM#GU5U2spHI_4

Well, I"m onto do things. Getting rid of the hamsters/gerbil will be one of the things I do - Everyone say 'goodbye rodents!'

Oh, go see STRANGER THAN FICTION! It's a fantastic, life changing movie. LOVE IT

You might be offended if....

you read this blog.

Two things...

1. Why would anyone believe that abortion is the reason for the increase in immigrants that live in America??? Did they forget the 'American Dream' and how everyone wants to live it. The land of the free and brave, and easy work which means money. If any of you have ever been to Mexico, you understand why these people are over here, and it's not because abortion is legal. That deserves a, "damn Republicans..."

2. I'm maturing. One might not notice it with my recent decisions, but I really am. AND I'm more and more drawn to nights in than nights out, which to me, is a sign of moving on to the next stage of life. Don't get me wrong...I kinda dislike a lot of things in my life now: being single, choices I make, no motivation...etc...etc..BUT I'm getting there...slow, but I'm moving in the next direction...which is very important. And if you don't understand a word of this jiberish...well...I don't either..so I can't help ya.

Here's a toast to the damn republicans for giving me something to write about. clinky, clinky

A fanciful feast

I have a full fanciful feast of boredom. It's a buffet full of gorgeous entrees, all made out of boredom.

I've really got to learn how to entertain myself better. A hobby perhaps....

Good news: I might have another after-school program gig. Good, easy money. I'll probably hear more about it in the next few weeks. Sounds like another M-Th thing. I'll be making more money and more time will be taken up. And maybe, just maybe, it'll be a little crazy and I'll have a story every now and then.

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving break, mostly for the break...but I also will see my brother for a minute. I'm looking forward to the family getting together and me forcing them to play board games or card games.

RAchael Ray is going to be on Iron Chef Sunday at 8pm (i think). It'll be a good show. I love Rach, and since she makes a ton of 30 minutes meals, this competition should be a cinch.

Yup, bored.

ahhh...a monday off

So, I took today off. I just felt yesterday like my life was spinning out of control and I needed to catch it. So I did. I accomplished many things today that have made me feel better and will make the rest of the week/month simplier. I think that taking a day off once a month is going to be necessary for me this year. I just dislike what I'm doing so much, that I need 4 day weeks...all the time.

On Wednesday, I go talk to an administrator about how things are going in my classroom, he came and observed it the other day. So...my conversation will probably reveal how I"m feeling this year and what I plan on doing about it, and then he'll go and tell everyone else....so we'll see if anything changes. I'd really like them to change it by semester so that when I come back from winter vacation, I'll feel like I can do the rest of the year.

The hardest is keeping a good attitude. But my coworkers deserve that...they work incredibly hard as well and we all deserve to have good days everyday.

Anyway...I think I've decided to mature, although I'm still very worried about not meeting anyone. I'm just as worried about the holidays with everyone else having a significant other. I'm trying not to let it bother me, but it does....so I just deal.

HOpe everyone had a fabulous monday...mine was very productive.

Saturday Mornings

I love Saturday Mornings. I am so productive. I get a lot of things completed, and feel good about what I do. (wish everyday were saturday morning)

I'm in a quandry about whether to mature, or not mature. I want to, really. But at the same time, I don't want to become a spinster or single forever person. So, I'm in a quandry. I don't know that one can mature and still party, or one can mature and still go out and spend 50 bucks in a night. I don't know that one single person can mature and find another mature single person....
One might ask what my definition of mature would be....and I think it's really about the decisions you make. DO you throw caution to wind, or do you make calculated decisions? IF you throw caution to the wind, you might have a really fun adventure and have a great story to tell one day. IF you make calculated decisions, you know and understand the affect of your decision on everyone, including yourself. Mature or not mature...that is today's question.

Saturday Mornings

I love Saturday Mornings. I am so productive. I get a lot of things completed, and feel good about what I do. (wish everyday were saturday morning)

I'm in a quandry about whether to mature, or not mature. I want to, really. But at the same time, I don't want to become a spinster or single forever person. So, I'm in a quandry. I don't know that one can mature and still party, or one can mature and still go out and spend 50 bucks in a night. I don't know that one single person can mature and find another mature single person....
One might ask what my definition of mature would be....and I think it's really about the decisions you make. DO you throw caution to wind, or do you make calculated decisions? IF you throw caution to the wind, you might have a really fun adventure and have a great story to tell one day. IF you make calculated decisions, you know and understand the affect of your decision on everyone, including yourself. Mature or not mature...that is today's question.

being bored

Thank you to that one person that actually reads this....it pushes me to write in it and entertain you so you are not as bored as me.

I'm bored. Kinda bored with life. Ready for something new to come my way.

Anyway, not much new. I finally got closure with a tough situation that I had been dealing with for some 3 odd years. It's a wonderful feeling, yet a weird one. Might actually add to my bored-ness.

I finished my upstairs bedroom, so I am now equipped with a guestroom for anyone that would like to come and stay. I feel that I am an excellent hostess, and can provide you with a good time.
Would love to see anyone and everyone.

I'm going to try to write on here more often...share some of my worldly views. So check in!