insert Bethoven's 5th here

It's over. finally.

Friends---what do I have to do to find a decent man? Really....I don't think I have the problems. I don't do anything weird in relationships. And you know I've asked around to make sure. There has got to be a man out there that isn't cocky or shifty. I however can't find him. If you find him, please send him my way....I'm not joking. Many of you met your husband through friends--how do you expect me to meet a husband without you hooking me up? I've exhausted the bar--we are all for certain on this one. I will not date a man that I work with--we know that this just leads to crap. So start helping me out. Give me some ideas on what to do, where to go.... I'm tired of everyone meeting and finding someone and then getting married. It ought to be about my turn.

What a pity part I can throw. I'm just so dang angry that I was stupid enough to answer the phone last night. STUPID!!!!! I've got to get away from that boy.

blah.

TGIF

Thank God for days off!!

The Eeyore Conspiricy

There is a dark cloud hanging over me today. Sometimes it rains, sometimes it pours and sometimes it's just dark. Like Eeyore on Winnie the Pooh, except I'm not complaining about it. I'm just going to take it for what it is. Realism...remember, I'm trying to change my fatalistic ways.

How do you deal with follow through? What happens in your life when someone doesn't follow through? What happens when they don't follow through countless number of times? They aren't trustable. They probably aren't your good friend, if a friend at all. I need some thoughts on this, so send them my way. I know we've all been there. What do you do about it?

Always a bridesmaid

One of my very good friends, Mary, was married in a beautiful outdoor ceremony on Saturday. The weather was perfect. Everything went really well. As maid of honor, I took care of all the things that needed to be taken care of, as well as the mother of the bride. The wedding was really wonderful and so so beautiful.

I've been busy with that for about 2-3 weeks now. I don't know what I'll get to fill my evenings now. I have plenty of things I'd like to do. One of them being making a quilt out of old t-shirts. If anyone has any advice for me on this, please let me know. I've never sewed much more than a pillow (in class) and so I think this will be a real challenge. But if I can get it done, it will be the most rewarding challenge.

I'm still enjoying my job. Although the afterschool program I do (which I love) I might be stepping down from. They want me to stay until 6:30. That is a long dang day. Plus, now that I'm more motivated, maybe I wouldn't come home and nap everyday if I got off work at 3 everyday. Anyway...that's coming down the line.

I'm working out and trying to lose weight. But it doesn't seem to be working. I don't do diets very well...so if anyone has any advice or magical cures, let me know.

I hope everyone is doing well. I've been laying around all day and need to go back to do more of that. :D

And the beat rolls on...

I can be so slow at figuring stuff out. Take life for instance....I always want to make everything such a big deal--and it's not. But I've got some stuff figured out for a while.
Weddings always make me a little crazy. I think it's because they are never my wedding. I'm always working hard on someone elses. It's always wonderful and I love being there for my friends. But geez...I get a little too crazy and think like I need to get married. And that is never a good thought. While I know there are good men out there somewhere and maybe someday I will find one, I don't have one right now...and right now is what matters.
I'm trying real hard to be a realist rather than a fatalist.
My good friend Mary gets married this weekend. It'll be a lovely wedding and yes, I'm the maid of honor. We had a fantastic shin-dig for her on Saturday. It was such a good time.

Nothing else on the hotplate. Everything is going pretty well.
Happy Birthday, Chrissy!!

To Whom It May Concern

If you call me in the middle of the night, I am most likely sleeping and will not answer my phone.

Dirt Face

Okay, so....I fall when I run on dirt. It's not pretty. We lost another kickball game tonight, however, we did score points. I actually made it to first base, but when I was running to second, I fell. It was another face in the dirt. I have to laugh that stuff off, but I've actually contemplated going out there and practicing running. Who needs to see me fall at every game? I'm a big ol' girl...no one wants to see that. How awkward.
Anyway, it was still a bundle of fun. I enjoyed the team we played tonight, they were a good time.

This week has been the longest ever. I've been thinking it's Friday since Wednesday. (yuck)

Forget the man comment, I'm off the wagon or on the wagon, which ever it is.

If you'd like to go running some bases with me before next Thursday, let me know.

I heart everyone!

and the pity party has begun

I ask why? a lot. I just want to know why. I want to understand the reasoning behind things. I yearn to comprehend the behaviors of others. I am looking for insight into why individuals make the decisions they do. Why is the behavior there? Why has it appeared? Where does it come from? What is the root of the behavior?

It is my want of understanding human behavior that drives me to do my job, to be a good friend, to ask questions, to be a good daughter, and to analyze ever tiny aspect of my life and the interactions I have with others.

Don't hate because I'm into that. Embrace it and give me honest answers when I ask questions, even if my emotions will take over. At least the behaviorist in me will be satisfied. Someone ought to be, right?!

By the way, there is a window by my computer. On the other side of the glass, but on the inside part of the screen is a spider. It's one of those scary shifty ones. It's all I can do to sit here and type. The only ONLY thing keeping me from freaking out is that there is glass between me and this shifty arachnid.

whew. I've got to go get ready, I'm going to win some money at the casino tonight. Mama needs a new pair of shoes....

The irony

The irony of my situation is that I've been happily employed now for two months. But when I get home, I'm tired and all I want to do is take a nap. I recently decided to take on Operation Second Chance. It's a program at the alternative school that is for students on a long OSS and are in need of earning some credit without having to go to regular class. So I teach them for 2 hours a day after school. I started this today.

Get ready for the irony: I have more energy today than most. I am not in need of a nap.

I guess I just needed to work longer. weird.

FYI: I've met a very nice man. I'll leave it at that

ttfn. b

Some Monday's just suck and other wonderful stuff

Yeah, so today is one Monday that sucked. My kids were in trouble before they even got to me. I'm so focused on academics that their behaviors are becoming intolerable. So, again, I must switch it all up tomorrow. It would be all different if they weren't so dang smart.

Anyway, enough about them, more about me. Ha ha ha. So...yet another girlfriend has fallen wayside because of a man. (yes, I'm shaking my head as I type this) My very very good friend, Shannon T. has found her a man. Yes, a man. And a very nice man. I am not jinxing anything, but folks, I think this is the one. Here is why I think so:
1. She stops calling her friends (me) as often because she's hanging out with her man.
2. She only talks about him, them or work in our conversations.
3. She sometimes avoids talking about them because...umm...yes, I'm still single (and you just can't talk about those things with single people)
4. She stops calling her friends (me) as often........tsk tsk tsk tsk

It's so funny, now that I'm old and see the patterns my friends eventually fall into. I don't blame Shannon at all, in fact I'm very happy for her and I'm sure that I'll be in the wedding. :D Which will be fun and an extremely joyous occasion.

I'm tired of being the last one left. Slowly but shirley they are all leaving me for a man. I'm just waiting for it to be my turn, to leave them for a man...but will I? I don't know....right now, I think I would never leave my friends for anyone or anything....but it just seems to keep happening, even to the best of girlfriends, like my Shannon. Maybe I'll fall into the pattern and they will be the ones telling me that he's the one, and we're gonna get married. OR--maybe I'll buy my own house, have lots of pets, especially cats, and just grow old with myself and my pets and my friends and their husbands.

Who knows what the future holds. I just hope it gives me what I'm supposed to get and that I'm happy with it.

Congrats to all you girlfriends out there who at some time or another have dissed a girlfriend for your man. I hope he turned out to be worth it and that your girlfriends are still around to share in your relationship. You've gotta have someone to talk about "that stuff" with anyhow.

Cheers.

Kickball is a real sport

I played my first game of kickball tonight. We lost by 13 points...but we had the best time. My kickball team is called Schoolhouse Rocks and it is made up of people from the Center School District. My first time up to kick the ball, I had a good kick, but fell on my face while I was running. I know NOONE can believe that...ha ha. It was hilarious. I tried to get them to give me 1st base. But the other team was hard core. I'm really glad I decided to do this. Come and see any of the games they are on Thursday nights at either 7 or 8 o'clock at Penn Valley Park. Our team is by far the most fun.

Other news....ummm...there isn't much. I'm enjoying my brand new car. My job is still good. My life is okay. I've recently realized that since I moved jobs and graduated, I've really narrowed down my good friends. Sometimes that's enjoyable, other times it's hard to realize some of the people you thought were great friends, well, just aren't.

I hope everyone is having a fantastic week. I'm really looking forward to this weekend in KC, there is a lot to do.

Been a while

It's been a while since I made the time to write on my blog. Everything has been going pretty well. I still enjoy my job, however the honeymoon with my students is over. Which means that I have to be pretty mean all the time just to keep the control in my classroom. It'll settle down in a bit though and we'll start having fun. I have some really great kiddos.

I crashed my car last weekend into a median and ended up totalling it. It was quite embarrassing, during rush hour and all. My car wouldn't move because I had busted the axle, so I had it towed to a Ford place and then I caught a ride to the bar--what else would I do? And no, I was on my way to the bar, not at the bar already!! (everyone asks that...) Really, just don't look down at your phone to see who is calling...it can be the death of your car. BTW, I now have a brand new 2006 Ford Focus family sedan. Bells and whistles galore.

I hope everyone has had a fantastic labor day weekend. Mine has been pretty good. Spent a lot of time with the family and good friends. I enjoy those times.

The first days of school

I love my kiddos....I love my job. I was home by 3:30pm today!! Everyone, pick yourself up off the floor...I know, it's a shocker. I'm actually teaching. It's just the best of times right now. I'll let you know when the honeymoon is over. Actually one of my boys decided the honeymoon was over yesterday. But none of it is anywhere near the stress or level of disrecpect I encountered at the place that shall not be named.

The worst part of my job (right now) is that I have to leave my house by 6:15AM. That is just entirely too early for me. I'm sure I'll get used to it, but sheez. I need to go to bed by 8:30PM....speaking of, it's past my bedtime already. And actually I'm not there because I took a nap today. Yes, I've become a perfectionist at the napping. My roommate couldn't even wake me up to go get a drink----what the hell??? It's the 5AM business.

This is a poorly written blog, sorry. I'm more in a chatty mood. We all know, when I"m chatty I don't always make sense to anyone else. So if you are at all confused. See a blog later this week or early next week. I promise it will be better written.

Buddy, Dora, and the boys.

School starts on Wednesday--can you believe it?? I'm happy to be back into a normal schedule. It's nice to not have school anymore. I really might enjoy not being a student this year.

I signed up for a kickball team. We will play on Thursdays. If you ever wanna come watch, let me know. Also, if you are interested in creating your own team look up www.kickball.com I will be on the Schoolhouse Rocks team, which is made up of mostly Center Middle School teachers.

So, the hamsters (Buddy, Dora, and the boys) are going to school tomorrow. They are very excited to meet new students. Two of them will probably be going to Gordon Parks Elementary. I am sure they will have a good time with the little ones there. I will be keeping Buddy of course and Dora (if she's not a chosen one) will probably stay across the hall in Ms. Sage's room. I'm planning on getting one of those really fun hamster homes for Buddy. She certainly deserves one. I'll have to take a pic and put it on here for ya'll to see. They are pretty cute little rascals. I suggest them for any classroom.

I hope everyone is having a fantastic start to their week. chow!

Shake it off

I'm still a failure at shaking it off. I just can't get over some things. Anyone have any secrets to 'getting over it' or moving on?

I haven't been up to much lately except for embracing my new job. I'm really enjoying the public school. It brings lots of new challenges. I am excited to meet my kiddos on Wednesday.

Happy Sunday to everyone. I hope it's relaxing.

Do you love where you work?

I love where I work. I really haven't been there long, and I reserve the right to change my mind later, but right now, I love where I work. I'm excited about teaching. I feel supported and appreciated (and they haven't even seen me teach yet...). It's just a fantastic feeling. I want everyone to have it.
The one of many things my dad has taught me is that I should love what I do. Since our primary life is our job, we should enjoy it. It really sucks the life out of you if you are doing something that you abhor for 9-?? hours a day. How are we supposed to enjoy the rest of the day (like 4 hours) if we spend 9-?? in misery? I know how I did it at my last job when I was always miserable. I was a member of DTA--drunk teachers association. Funny stuff.
Well....I wish for everyone to love where they work and what they do.

Daddy-o update: he's doing well. Today I was told that mom took him to the farm and he watered his shrubs!! This is fantastic. This is just a sign of normalcy. I think it was very much needed for our family. Thanks to everyone that has sent me information or where to find information, keep it coming.

Have happy days!

Northern Vacation

With all the excitment-good and bad, I decided to take a vacation this weekend. I drove up to Minnesota to see my 'cousin', Maure. While the drive was long and boring, it was so worth it. We had such a fantastic time.
When Maure moved to Kansas City and we started hanging out (we really didn't know each other before this time) and we became really tight. Well..since those good times, Maure has fallen in love, married and moved away. It's a very sad deal, since she played such a major role in my life. This weekend was the first weekend, I feel, that we have really connected since she got married. It was so nice and necessary to have that connection back. (sidenote-I'm starting to see this pattern with all my newly married friends) Anyway, my vacation was perfect. I hung out with Maure all weekend. We just had good times. And while our lives are very different, we can still understand, empathize and love each other. I truly do agree with Maure, we were meant to be sisters.

I'm seeking information on strokes, so if you know of any good sites, books, or organizations in KC...please let me know.

Life

Do you want the good news or the bad news?

The good news is that the bash on Saturday was fantastic. Loads of fun, I wish everyone I knew was there. My dad turned 59 and had a great time hanging out with his friends.
I also made the grades to graduate. I've promised my self a year off of school before I start again. Whether I'll actually start again is a whole nother deal. I had my day of filling out paper work for my new school - Center Middle School. I just love everyone there. I knew about half of the new employees either from UMKC, DTA, or NWMSU. It's going to be a good time. I hope to be there for a while. Hopefully longer than 2 years, which is the longest I've ever held a job.
Eric starts law school soon. I believe he's ready to go. He'll make a fantastic lawyer.

The bad news. My dad had a stroke on Sunday. He was able to come home Wednesday night. It's just so funny how life changes in just a second. We've got a lot of work to do. He is okay, just weak on the right side and has some speech problems....but we are pretty lucky that he recovered so well. If anyone reading this has high blood pressure, get your life changed. Eat better, take your medicine, walk or excercise. Do something for yourself, or you too will end up with a stroke.

Anyway...I start my new job for real next week and the kids come the week after. It'll be a good change of pace. Please pray for my family and my father.

It's almost official

Well...here's the current countdown for those of you keeping up with my procrastination.

1 more day of Practicum (yes!), I already got my grade and I received an A (of course)

1 more Action Research Class - poster presentation, post final paper

And ta da---we have a master's.

It looks easy, but it's really not. It doesn't help that I've gotten up on the wrong side of the bed two days in a row now. I don't really understand why...but it's just how things are, I guess.

I'm having to take a BIST class this week (behavior intervention support team). It's fine, but feels like a bit of a waste of my time. I think this is because I'm having to keep the partying to the minimum so that I can get up early the next morning and do the work thing. That's probably what sucks the most. I'm ready for summer!!

TGIF

The countdown:

2 more days of Practicum

1 more Action Research class, 1 more part of a paper to post, 1 action research study to create, and 1 poster presentation

1 practicum exit interview

The end is near!! The most exciting thing is that I went and bought my regalia yesterday. So I have my cap, gown, tassle, robe, and hood. It's so exciting. I'm going to try to put an image on here...but lately I've been very computer illiterate, so it might not happen. I'm not actually walking in a ceremony, but I thought I needed the appropriate dress for the big party. And, I want pictures and stuff. Plus, it'll be nice to have to show my kids.

I am so amazed at how many people actually read the crap I put on here. THANKS! Since I've started this, I've heard from more and more people that I haven't talked to in a while. It's been nice to get back into the swing of communication.

I'm looking for some hobbies to start. I am going to take my hobby of losing weight and excercising back up. Hopefully, I can lose some of my master's/DTA stress weight. But any other suggestions for hobbies, let me know!! I'm going to have quite a bit of time on my hands.

So, TGIF!! I'm headed to Witchita today to hang out with the bands, Journey and 38 Special. Does anyone remember them??? Actually I'm going to see my roommate, Chrissy, who coincidentally is working a concert tonight with Journey and 38 Special so I really will get to hang out with them. Then tomorrow I think I'll be heading to see my friends Sam and Robert. They just bought a new house! And sometime in all that, I have to finish the Action Research crap.