#1

#1 can mean so many things.

There's Nelly's song - #1, which has at many times in my life been my mantra.
Often people ask what I'm going to do without working all summer and my answer is "I'm gonna take care of #1."

And then on the other hand - there's so many #1's in our lives. There's the #1 song when we were born (mine was "Rich Girl" by Daryl Hall & John Oates). There's the #1 coffee (McDonalds-no really...). There's many different companies that think and advertise they are #1.

A #1 at Taco Bell is different from the #1 at McDonalds and Burger King.

There's the Top Ten on David Letterman....#1 is supposed to be the funniest.

When you win, you want to be #1, you want to win the gold medal, you want to be first.

#1 is on my mind a lot today. I'm trying to make it my job, my business if you will.
It's a lot harder than I thought. I am very used to catering to others and putting myself later. Not so easy to just rotate those rolls and put myself first and take care of myself first. It's my goal for the summer, so I guess I have all summer to work on it. Cheers to the #1.

tagit

Tag you're it!!!
The rules are: Once you have been tagged, you write a blog with ten, weird, random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end you choose 10 people to be tagged, list their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" and tell them to read your latest blog. Enjoy!!!!

1: I like to sleep on the couch.

2: I collect pub mats - you know coastersl that you put your beer on. I like to write on them to commemorate my time where ever I picked it up. I usually add everyones names, the date, and the place - and if it was a special event.

3: I am in the process of buying a house - it makes me kinda wiggidywack every morning, but I calm down after a while.

4: I took Maggie, my dog, to the vet today so they could remove the tick because I didn't want to.

5: I took piano lessons for ten years...but can't play much if you sit me down in front of the piano.

6: I still play the oboe. I'm in a community band now and the other oboe player is 81 years old! It's something I think I'll play forever.

7: I would like to teach the world not be be a victim. The victim mentality is what keeps poverty so popular in the US. It also puts up hurdles and obstacles that sometimes people don't feel like they can get over.

8: I think about my Grandpa and Grandma Barnes, a lot.

9: I still have dreams and aspirations.

10: These are kinda boring and dumb, but hopefully you learned a little more. If you read my blog from time to time - you know a lot more.

I tag: don't matter - do you.


You read it, you reply by making your own blog..

no vacancy

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

I was cleaning out my yahoo mail and found this quote.

I thought it was a good one and so I wanted to share. It really supports
my belief in having no regrets. I've really been doubting myself lately, thinking
'if I had just, or what if I had, or I should have...' Those kind of thoughts
really tear me up. As a person I have to stand for what I've decided and believe
in it. I don't always make smart decisions, actually I don't most of the time. But
I do make peace with my decisions because God knows, there is no room in my life for
two things:

1. regret and 2. grudges.

I don't know how to be free of either, but maybe putting up a no vacancy sign when those times come around would help...

Memorial Day

I have a new Memorial Day tradition and it is to go to the Celebration at the Station. The KC Symphony plays a 90 min. concert at the Union Station and then they play to fireworks. AMAZING!
It was such a good time and we had a good place to sit. I want to just meet up with everyone next year at the same place and then for years to come.
For those of you who think there is nothing to do in KC - think again. This city offers much more than anyone knows. There is so much to explore and so many festivals/arts stuff to go to. And really a lot of it doesn't have to cost a ton of money. I definitely spend more money at the bar on any given night, than I do going to a festival, paying to get in and then paying for whatever inside and having a better time! There is nothing better than being out amongst lots of people and having entertainment. I get tired of being the entertainment at the bar.....it's a nice change of pace when there's quality entertainment and people watching.

So for memorial day, I'm going to commemorate my freedom. My freedom to go and have a good time with friends and do something different and celebrate the awesome city that I live in.

I'm Back!

So sorry that I've been gone sooo long. Let me give you an outline of what's happening before I really get into it (any good teacher would...)

March
-Natalie's passion party (hosted by Mary and I)
-My 30th birthday
-Natalie's shower

April
-trying on bridesmaids dresses, getting all that sorted out
-Mary's 30th birthday
-Natalie's bachelorette party

May
-dumped phone in toilet, lost everything
-Natalie's wedding
-Mother's day
-Shannon's 30th birthday
-8th grade graduation
-buttloads of paperwork
-last day of school (25)
-Memorial day weekend events (Royals game, BBQ festival, Union Station)

I just did that by memory...so I know I missed some things....but you get the point, I've been a very very busy girl.

So today was the last day of school for this year. I cannot be happier. I'm so glad this year is over - it was just soo weird. I'm very much looking forward to my summer. I'm going to look into buying a house, get a part time job, work out, eat healthy, and enjoy myself. I'm not going to do anything I don't want to do. I might not even do anything for anyone but myself. Because that is how I feel it needs to be - all about #1.

Anyway - now that I have my password and username for this deal, I'll write a lot more...maybe even daily. I do have lots of interesting things to write and talk about. Lots of stories and good times to tell.

I'll leave you with this for tonight..."more cowbell"

My birthday is coming soon...

Here's an invite:

I will be celebrating the big 3-0 at The Red Balloon 10325 W. 75th St. Overland Park, KS on March 24th.
We'll meet there around 9ish dressed in the best 70's clothes you can find!!
Sure to be a good time!

Here's the #1 songs during the year 1977 (when I was born):

 1  ABBA  Dancing Queen
1  Alan O'Day  Undercover Angel
1  Andy Gibb  I Just Want to Be Your Everything
1  Barbra Streisand  Love Theme from "A Star Is Born" (Evergreen)
1  Barry Manilow  Looks Like We Made It
1  Bee Gees  How Deep Is Your Love
1  Bill Conti & His Orchestra  Gonna Fly Now (Theme from "Rocky")
1  Daryl Hall & John Oates  Rich Girl
1  David Soul  Don't Give Up On Us
1  Debby Boone  You Light Up My Life
1  Eagles  Hotel California
1  Eagles  New Kid In Town
1  Fleetwood Mac  Dreams
1  Glen Campbell  Southern Nights
1  KC & The Sunshine Band  I'm Your Boogie Man
1  Leo Sayer  When I Need You
1  Marvin Gaye  Got to Give It Up (Part 1)
1  Meco  Star Wars Theme / Cantina Band
1  Shaun Cassidy  Da Doo Ron Ron
1  Stevie Wonder  Sir Duke
1  The Emotions  Best of My Love
1  Thelma Houston  Don't Leave Me This Way 

funny little ditty

I wanted to share an email I wrote today - thought it witty and clever

Here's the run down of my day (really)...
get to work early
set up classroom
go through first class
para leaves  - have to go check on Randy during classes for rest of 1/2
day
go get V8 from work room
someone runs into me getting V8 all over my cream sweater/left boob
have to go into the principals meeting to ask for Tide pen
sit in 6th grade principals office rubbing tide pen on my boob (where
the stain was)
go up to my classroom
go check on randy
go to bathroom to do the tide pen again
break the tide pen
sit in my class
watch Oprah's Africa school special
take kids to lunch
go to lunch in work room
walk with Mr. Jackson to office
Mr. Jackson lets me know that there is something brown on my boob
I tell him thanks for looking
I go to the work room for a short meeting
decide to go home and change
fall in front of guest and gym teacher (flat on my face, my ankle gave
out)
get up
brush off
leave and go home
change
put Maggie outside
go to Walgreen's
buy more Tide pen's
go back to work
stop and ask Aimee if I missed anything
go up to my room
sit down and write this stupid email.

Today is a sad day...

My favorite bar, Kennedy's, burned down today. I spent at least one day a week at this fine establishment. As many of you know, this bar is right up the street from from my house, along with 75th Street Brewery. For those that care, 75th Street Brewery, which I also frequent, only has water and smoke damage. From what I hear, it will be fine. Everything else-burnt to the ground with only the outside standing. Pray for the 5 firemen that were hurt in the fire, some are in critical condition. And please think happy thoughts about Kennedy's and pray that they rebuild....I will miss it severely.

Sunday nights

I love Sundays. I usually hang out at my house, clean, cook, be domestic. But tonight...I am totally dreading work tomorrow and have lots of anxiety about it. My job this year has been pretty sucky - I'm not doing what they hired me for. I don't feel very utilized, or successful. I don't feel fulfilled or satisfied. I'd really like to be doing something else next year...still teaching or in the field...but something where I feel successful and fulfilled. What to do? The next month and a half are going to totally suck. We are having to do so much extra work and the tensions and attitudes are soo negative. By the time the big 'test' comes around....everyone will be burnt out and finished.
Well...that's all, just needed to express my anxiety for what is happening and what is to come.

The bitter cold

If you've been reading my posts since August, you know that I live in an old house. There's a lot of problems. My most recent is the bitter cold that is climbing in from the outdoors. Heating up the house = $$. So, here's my most recent solution: Bonnie's Dance Party. This occurs many times and for hours at my house. It's open pretty much anytime I'm awake. When I'm asleep I do the Electric Blanket Snuggle.

Okay - I'm reaching for the jokes - you get the picture. It's friggin cold and I'm gonna be a good dancer.
Stay warm...

Yes folks, it's winter

And so, I find myself using this site as a rant rather than here's what's happening to me. Here's my latest rant.

It snowed today, most schools got out a little early. I, the lucky one, have to be at work by 7am, so that means I'm outta there on a regular day at 3. Today, we got out around 2:15. It had snowed for several hours by then and was bitterly cold. But it's winter in the Midwest. We've had snow/ice/sleet already this year, this time is no different. It seems though that Midwesterners have several deficits in their short term memory. Everyone forgets how to drive in the snow. I live maybe like 7-10 minutes away from my job. It took me a whole 30 minutes or more to get home today - and the roads had already been sanded and scooped. CRAZY!! I understand wanting to be safe, but really.... Previous to my experience, we had been looking at the weather on the internet and there had been several car pile-ups on the highways already. There was a 35 car pile up north. There was a 7 car pile up out west. Seriously - do we really not know how to drive or do we forget that this weather is the weather we're supposed to have, not the a45-50 degree weather we had the other day. Maybe when it gets above 40 our brains automatically dispose of the winter weather advisory. Maybe we go into gearing up for spring and start thinking about newness and buds on the trees and flowers and that fills our brain, rather than, hmm...oh...say....the fact that it's winter and we had 6 inches of snow just 8 days ago.

Anyhow - that's my "people don't know how to drive" rant.

and so on and so on and so on

Someone sent me this questionnaire on myspace. It has intriguing questions so I thought I'd blog it instead, for those that actually read this, you can know a little more about me.


1. Ever punch someone in the face? no, but on a daily basis I say "I"m going to kick you in the face and make you bleed" don't ask me why...

2. How old are you? 29

3. Are you single or taken? single

4. Eat with your hands or utensils? both

5. Do you dream at night? yes, usually in color

6. Ever seen a corpse? on tv, at a funeral, that's it

7. Have you ever wished someone dead? no - you'd have to really hate someone for that.

8. Do You Like Bush, the president? not really, seems kinda unintelligent, stubborn


HERE COMES THE EQUALLY INTERESTING PART...

9. Whats your philosophy on life and death? die to live, don't live to die

10. If you could do anything , and have no one know, what would it be? ohhh...ummmm...if I did it, I would tell people because that's how I do it - woman of very few secrets.

11. Do you trust the police? yes

12. Do you like country music? yes

13. What is your fondest memory? I have so many - probably be creating static electricity with my brother in the backseat of the car, making my dad mad...but it was great, we made lightening with our fingers...

14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be? what do you think...I would wear a size 12 until I died

15. Who do you want to date? Jack Black, of course

16. What do you wear to sleep? depends on the temperature, but normally I wear pajamas

17. Have you ever peed in a pool? yes...you have too

18. Would you hide evidence if you committed a crime? No, I'd turn myself in

19. If you only had one day to live, what would you do? Whatever I wanted

20. What is your favorite thing? my electric blanket

21. Do you think your attractive? yes, I"m damn sexy

22. What's your favorite color? probably yellow, but I like a lot of colors

23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be? My grandpa Barnes

24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you? I play the oboe

stressed

There are so many things that have been going on in my mind that I could blog about. BUT, for some reason, I just can't ever seem to bring myself to actually sit here and write about them. There's some ironically funny stories to tell, but yet again, why...I'm not into entertaining right now.
I'm struggling. Struggling with life. I'm sure there are several reasons as to my struggle, but I believe it probably all boils down to the fact that I'll be 30 soon, and the life I wanted to be living..I'm not. While I am academically and career-wise successful...there's not much else I've been successful at. I know, I know - that's a lot, and a lot more than some people have...I acknowledge that and most of the time it gives me some solace. But right now..I don't think there's much solace out there for me. I'm pretty stressed out about my current situation. Not really at all happy about it. Am I changing it? Sometimes.

I really do see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I am usually optimistic. I don't believe pessimism really gets you anywhere, but down. So...I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party, although I love to party..but I'm just trying to write down some real feelings about how I am today. Maybe tomorrow will be different, or later tonight, and I'll feel like bringing some entertainment to your day - because I got some good ones stored up.

iphone rant

So, Mac, has come out with an i-phone. It's amazing, because it has an 'i' in front of it. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to hate on MAC....but c'mon. You have to see that there are a million phones out there already that do the same stuff!! Just because it's MAC doesn't mean that it's soo much better. In fact, it looks very similar to a phone sprint came out with a while ago that had a PDA built in. Plus it's huge, like the size of your hand from middle finger tip to the bottom of your palm. Does anyone have a phone that big anymore??? Didn't think so.

I would be impressed if the iphone could do something that the rest of the phones didn't do, you know, like not drop calls, never lose service, clean the house, wash the dishes, replace trashcan liners.....you know - it would be amazing then. But alas, it doesn't. And it will drop calls, and it will have areas where there is no service and it will clog up the internet and so all the Wi-Fi places will run slow. (I don't really know about that, just wanted to throw it in...)

Anyway, my thoughts are...just think about it before you get all goo-goo eyed and buy a $500 phone for the name. You can get something similar damn near free elsewhere.

The post everyone's been waiting for....

As Oprah says, "Live your best life."

Here are my goals for 2007:

-continue working out (make it my new bar)
-change my eating habits (and drinking)
-save money, not off to a good start on this...but will happen in 2007
-continue to organize my life stuff
-keep my car clean (haven't cleaned it out from 2006...)
-go to church, get involved in something the church does

How will I be striving to live my best life:
-be healthy, mentally, physically, and socially
-challenge myself daily
-be happy with my single life, really live it up
-give myself some rewards for the good changes I make


Okay - there it is, my little key to continued success in my happy life.

New Years and other such idiodicies

Well, at the last moment I went out of town this weekend for new years. I spent it with good friends and really fun times. It was exactly what I wanted, even though I didn't know it.

On Jan. 1st I got home about 5ish and prepared to go and spend the night in Loose Park. We had to be ready to book a friends wedding date for the rose garden on Jan. 3rd. We heard that people would start lining up around 4:30AM...so as the maid of honor, of course I felt obligated to agree to do such a crazy thing. Well the groom went to case the park around 8pm. There were already people there!! So we hurriedly got ready and went up to spend the night in Loose Park. We had coffee, clothes, snacks, blankets, chairs, hats, gloves, socks, and more coffee. So we get up there and soon after more people come, and then more...and all of a sudden we're having a slumber party of 7-8 dates...dates for their wedding that is. No one knew each others names, just the dates of the wedding. My friend and I were referred to as May 12. We really didn't have a realistic idea of what we were doing or how cold it got. On two different occasions we took turns going out to the car and warming up. It was really weird to have frost on my jacket, sleeping bag, and anything else that was laying around. I saw a falling star in the early morning which was very exciting. I met lots of other crazy people and I got to do something really great for my friend. But...I don't think I will ever sleep outside during the middle of winter again.
So, for all those whom I haven't called back or wished a happy new year - many apologies.

Tomorrow I start back to school. UGH!!!! But I"m happy for the routine. I'll let you know how it goes, for now - this girls gotta go to bed!

A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE?!?!?!

So yes, over Christmas it became very clear, clear as a small brown mouse, that I have mice in my house. I'm not dirty so don't go being judgmental....but I live in a freekin old house that hasn't been taken too good care of. All of you know this that have been reading my blogs, so this shouldn't be any surprise. My parents bought me traps (I was going to, but haven't been to the store) and so I put one out today. I put out a mouse trap, knowing full well that it would trap a mouse. I've thought this through several times. So, about 12:30 (half an hour ago) I'm sitting her and pop - I hear a mouse trap. I didn't know what to do. I sat here, told Maggie (my dog) to go look, she's pitiful and didn't, so I went and stuck my head in the kitchen and on the floor is a trap turned over. At first I thought maybe the mouse got away, but then I noticed the tail sticking out. I'm going to go back and make sure it's still there....okay, I think it's still there. Now, when I envisioned myself taking care of this situation...I saw myself picking up the mouse/trap and all with a gloved hand and many plastic bags and just throwing it all away. But the moment it snapped, I knew....there is no way in freaking hell I can pick up the dead mouse (hopefully dead) and the trap. I shouldn't have to do it....there should be someone here to help me...I shouldn't have to deal with this stuff alone. So now, I'm mad again that I have to do this stuff alone. Dammit...I just don't think it should be this way, and I don't understand why it is.

I've got a lot to write about

So it's been a while and I've got about 6, maybe 7 blogs saved up to write. I'll attempt as many as I can tonight.

Texas - I visited Texas on the Weekend of the 8-11. It was a really good friend from Northwests birthday, so I took a little trip out to visit her and her wifey, I'll call them B & D from here on out. (I try to protect peoples identity since I don't normally write and ask them if it's okay before blogging) Anyhow...I actually flew into College Station, Texas. It was the smallest airplane I have ever flown on!! Very different experience...I'd like to stick to the big ones...I just don't think small ones are for me....
But I got there and we celebrated 30 years of B's life all weekend. It was absolutely a good time! I learned something while I was in Texas...I learned that it is good for your health to have a big belly laugh at least once a day. And so, let's all have one -pause for belly laugh- okay, that was good...we'll do it again tomorrow. It was a good time and I'm so glad I got to spend B's 30th with her.

Christmas - I had a fab Christmas. Got to see lots of people, had lots of people stay over including my cousin and her husband. It was good to see them. I got to spend some good time with my brother. I love it when we can hang out. He gave me this absolutely fantastic computer - which will probably be recurring on the blogs because I am in love with it.
Christmas was great....I was surrounded by family!

New Years - I have a whole list of stuff to write...but I'm putting that in another blog. Right now, I'm going to give you my list of options for New Years so that someone can make a decision because I haven't....

In no particular order
Robert and Samara's house in Cameron (will be a fun party, no doubt)
Alan and Jacque's house in Maysville (brian will be there....)
Natalie's house (guaranteed a good time!!)
Record Bar (love going out, but probably is way to costly for me)
Shannon & Andrew's (they'll just be getting back to Clarinda so I've crossed it off)
stay home by myself and cry
Waldo has a ball drop, I could always enjoy that

I am leaning on Natalie's house, but kinda swaying toward Robert and Samaras or Alan and Jacque's.......ugh...

A picture is worth a thousand words

OR a trip to the gym everyday this week and vegetables for dinner. I am still not understanding why I feel one way and see that in the mirror, and then look at a picture and see another person standing there. Someone I don't know. Someone that looks like they weigh 300 pounds... I don't feel like that. I don't even feel overweight most of the time, although I am.
Anyway, I printed the picture and hopefully, it'll take me to the gym more and make me eat healthier, so next time I take a picture - I'll really look like I feel.

Finally, there are presents under my tree...

It just doesn't much feel like Christmas is less than a week away. I'm floored by how fast the first part of the school year has gone. Whoosh, there goes the time! I didn't even blink.

The nice thing is that I have 4 1/2 days left of work, and then I'm going to take a long break. Well, it's like a week and a 1/2, but I'm going to try and make it feel long. I will be working some during the break, I'm building a proposal for a Behavior Disorder Program for our district. I have to give that on the 3rd of Jan. I'm looking to put that into place for next year and then maybe move over to the Alternative School, I'm not sure about it...but I know that I need more chaos to entertain me. I miss the chaos and the behaviors. I really would like to work with much needier kiddos. Plus, my supervisor is very snippy with me most of the time now, and if I can choose not to work with that, I'd really rather not.

Other than work, there's not much going on. I'm struggling with life and what I want to make of it. It's such a blessing to have this beautifully blank canvas in front of you....and any color you want...but I'm really struggling with what I want the complete picture to look like. I know, I know, I should just start drawing....and I'm getting there...

Merry Christmas to everyone! I'll try to write more when I'm not working this holiday.