The Mall

I was at the mall last week - the first time in over a year. I had to pick up my glasses, but I thought since I had my trip coming up I would peruse the shops and see what was hip. I had walked through almost every store and most of the department stores. There was a lumpy feeling in my throat - a nauseous feeling. The clothes out are hideous, not only in color and pattern- but also in style. And to boot, I was outraged with the prices of things. During my stroll in the last department store - I called Mary (felt like I had to). I think I was going to have a panic attack. I realized at that moment that I was old. Out of style. I shop at about 5 stores. That's it. And I don't think it's the old part that is the problem - it's the fact that I always told myself I would stay hip - you know, dress/music etc. And I've done neither. I do try to listen to some new music - but it's indie,folk, local, or what I like. It was a realization that I am okay with having. It was weird. And I am going to honestly try to go to the mall more often and just walk around so it won't be so shocking next time.