fresh

It's a new day, a fresh start.  Of all the things I do well in the classroom - this is by far my best.  No matter what happened the day before, today is a new day, all things are forgiven and a new chance has been granted. 

Today is a new day and fresh start for me.  How I choose to change my attitude will result in the consequences that come with it.  I will try to make good choices that result in positive consequences.

gonna be a lonely summer....

I think I must have run off all of my friends.  No one even calls anymore.  I'm not really throwing a pity party just being realistic.  It's gonna be a hell of a lonely summer.  Unless I butt in on all my married friends with kids lives.  Then I would at least talk to someone during the day.  I wouldn't have this problem if.....and this is where I'll stop so the pity party won't begin.  I'll just say, I hate being the single person, and I am starting to really dislike this transition period I am in, even though there will be good at the end.  I am so alone and sometimes it really sucks.

funny

I was so excited for my bike ride today that when I got home and rushed around I put on a tshirt, my socks, shoes and then went to find my helmet - notice what's missing???  MY PANTS!!  I almost forgot my pants...I was that excited. 

Summertime......

Because I do not want to think about working, and have the advantage not to think about it right now, even though I am at work, I'm going to make a list of all the stuff I want to accomplish this summer.  I am thankful for the time to accomplish stuff, and hopefully I make the choice to do so and have the funds. 

1.  Summer's here BBQ
2.  front yard area - put in a little bird bath, plant some plants
3.  cut down bushes in front
4.  re-do kitchen:  clean out everything, new spice holders, new dry goods holders, re-arrange
5.  paint rooms: living room, bedroom
6.  pull carpet in bedrooms
7.  cleanout fence on south side
8.  put new chainlink and possibly a few new posts in on south side
9.  paint border in house
10.  get new carpet for bedrooms, or finish with flooring - undecided, probably depend on funds
11.  buy and install storm doors
12.  put new weather strip on door
13.  get big rocks out of bottom pond
14.  replace big rocks
15.  in August go to Minneapolis for Maure and family and art show
16.  In July go to Okoboji for BRASL and boji fun
17.  spend lots of time with freeman bambino
18.  work out, ride my bike, take a swim, go to the lake
19.  throw my momma a birthday party (June 12, if you wanna come)
20.  Go to see Michael Buble (up close and personal like, if my mom takes me, they are her tickets).
21.  ride my bike in the morning to get coffee.
22.  Join CSA and learn to cook new organic veggies and meats
23.  Remember everyday I don't go out or pass up a social event is a day  closer to financial freedom and ultimate financial responsibility.
24.  Go see movies, particularly excited about Eclipse
25.  Meet some new people that do stuff I want to do also.

knock knock

Who's there???  Who knows.  I don't answer my door.  Now that it is nice out, there are more people knocking.  Sometimes I even yell through the door to go away, I'm not answering.  If it was someone I knew, they would call or yell or something so I would know it was them. 
Today I had someone knock on the door.  I didn't even look to see who it was.  Now, I want to take my bike out and get it on my car and head up to a park to ride and I feel trapped.  I don't want someone to come up while I'm doing all this.  I'm paranoid about it.  Does this feeling ever go away?

And for the record - if my HOA stopped allowing people to solicit at our doors I would probably pay the dues. It would be worth it.

why politics aren't for me.

My job isn't mechanical or monotonous.  It's not lists of to do's.  It's not 9-5, or even 7-3.  Every day is emotional.  Every day is different.  Every day is a challenge.  I have to 'shoot from my hip'.  I make split second decisions ever split second.  I wear my heart on my sleeve.  My job is all soul.  My job is all heart.  My job is all emotions. 

I just left an amazing Parade of Bands.  All the bands play.  The crappy sounding beginning 5th grade band.  The not-as-crappy sounding 6th grade band.  The awesome sounding 7th grade band.  Just as awesome 8th grade band.  And the 1-rated High School band.  The difference between the beginning 5th and 6th grade band and the rest - the directors.  My good friend, brother, fellow alumnus, and cycling coach, Carrie Shuck.  She is an amazing person and a just as amazing band director.  She expects excellence and growth, demands it.  The quality of band she produces, creates, is unlike that of any other small urban school district.  So why is she leaving?  Why did the school board edge her out?  Why was she pulled in and told her contract wouldn't be renewed - by the school board?  (Nothing to do with principles or fellow co-workers or even parents).  I don't think I will ever know why a certain board member had it out for her.  What's worse is that he has risen to presidential standings and been applauded.  It  makes me sick.  Maybe 'they' don't know what they are going to miss.  Maybe they don't know how hard it is to find a quality band director.  Wait, they don't know, because the band director they found - his band got a 4 rating a contest.  So bad it's almost unheard of. 
I walked out of Parade of Bands.  They announced the school board and applauded their excellence before they recognized Carrie and her extraordinary work.  They congratulated them on their new appointments before announcing that Carrie was leaving along with the 6th grade band director - whom they didn't explain that she was told in October that she would not have a job next year.  I guess they are getting rid of that position. 
I couldn't contain my anger as the superintendent walked in late and stood 2 people beside me.  I was slightly crying and then just couldn't contain it.  I couldn't get myself back together to say congratulations to all my students that are in band.  Or to my friends that conduct it.  I had to leave.  I walked five blocks home, crying, cursing every step about unfairness, inequality, quantity over quality, money decisions deciding the fate of the future education of our children.  This is why politics aren't for me.

 

something new

Here is a snake that I found wound up in some netting in my backyard (netting was to cover the pond and keep leaves/birds out).  I decided to free him and let him live.  Moments after I took this picture - Maizey (cat) started playing with him...but I believe he is still alive and not dead. 
BTW - if anyone has any great ideas on how I can get two rocks about 200 lbs each out of the pond, let me know.  If you are willing to help, that's even better.

Not a fantastic pic, but I love the sweater and necklace I'm wearing. This is before Natalie's baby shower on Sunday.  By far the best baby shower ever.  Short, sweet, good food, no games!!

My life is so exciting.  I'm so glad I can share it with you.  (that's sarcasm people).

why.

Lately I'm finding it incredibly hard to live within the moment and just enjoy the life I've created.  I hate wasting time on being unhappy.  I know it's a choice - I just haven't been able to make the choice.  Today was particularly rough, while I should have been enjoying my friend and all the great things going on for her, I felt as if I was being punished and beat down.  I really am so selfish and angry.  I'm not quite sure where to put the feelings, but I need to find someplace useful - working out, new hobby, cleaning, yard work....   I really hate wasting my time on these angry, sad, depressed feelings. 

I've misplaced my rain gear.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Do you ever feel like screaming?  I cannot pin point my frustration because I believe it is occurs because of several different situations.  What I do know, is that when it rains, it pours.  

36 more days.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

remembering gratefulness....

May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where 
you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that 
are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have 
received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be 
content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into 
your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and 
love. It is there for each and every one of us.

JO xxxooo

JAMIE OLIVER

click my link, sign the petition, change the way you eat. 


I am impressed and amazed with Jamie's passion.  I love what he's doing.  I wish an American could have stood up against it all and done this.  What are we waiting for, death?

I made a goal for myself prior to the beginning of 2010 (I live into my goals, so sometimes they take time), that I would have a garden and be eating whole foods, and change my milk (no more plastic).  I changed my milk a while ago to Shatto, glass bottles, it's a farm near by Kansas City - so hometown grown, and they are all organic.  The whole point was to decrease the amount of chemicals I put in my body.  I realize that I'm late in the game, but it is never too late to change - or feel good about yourself.  I haven't cut out all processed food quite yet, but I'm well on my way.  Every trip to the grocery gets better and better and easier!
This all started for me prior to Jamie's food revolution.  This started when I red Jillian Michael's Metabolism book.  She spews the facts and does a crap-ton of research. I respect that.   So now between Jamie's passion and Jillian's research, I'm even more motivated to get this done for myself.

Thank you Jillian Michaels. Thank you Jamie Oliver.  Thank YOU for signing the petition and believing that we can still change our world and give our children a better one.  Believe me - our children are not getting the best of our world.  As a teacher in an urban area, I can tell you from my perspective we're giving them shit on a plastic plate (literally AND figuratively).  The only passion I have left for my job is knowing that I am doing my VERY SMALL part to change our youths future.  It takes a village. 

Thankful # ??

Yes, that is where Rachel Ray touched my arm. 


I'm thankful for the chance meeting with Rachel, because it is a great story and a highlight from a fun trip. 

I'm thankful for having to drive home 12 hours and then get in someone elses car the next weekend and drive for 3.5 hours.  I knew that the trip to Lincoln, NE would be short and sweet.  I could appreciate that. I was also able to truly appreciate the driver and voice my appreciation several times.  I have also taken some time in the last week to voice my appreciate and thankfulness for truckers and others who drive several hundreds of miles in one day.  From now on - I will be driving to the airport for trips like that. 3 hours - no problem, 6-7 hours - no problem, any further - problem!  I'm thankful to know this!

AO (and I say it like AaaaayOoooohh) I have pink/red in my hair right now, some blonde because of the sun.  I think that I continue to put some funky color in my hair because 1. I can.  2.  It has a younger look about it - I'm all about trying to look younger right now as wrinkles and gray hairs are taking over when I'm not trying.  You would look fantastic with some purple or pink or the red she used this time (I loved it).  Come up and we'll get our hairs did.  :)

Rach

Rachel Ray clapping her hands for AndrewWK - a rocking band.

I couldn't resist telling the story:

It was still mid morning and I was on my 2nd bathroom break (free bloodymarys!!).  When I went back to the bathroom there were two guys at the door.  I was like, is this the line, can I get in?  And they said, wait a minute, Rachel's in there.  Soo..I waited and out she came.  She was sooo short and her head was huge, but she put her hand on my left arm and said, "How are ya doin'?"   I told her that I was great and having a great time.  They whisked her up and I went to the bathroom.  A few minutes later I freaked out - realizing that I'd just talked/met Rachel and she'd actually acknowledged me without me being a hounding fan.  It was fantastic.   Definitely the major highlight of my trip to Austin.

Rachel and John - John's band "The Cringe" played but we didn't see them.

Great-Full #18

I am thankful for spring break, new hair, and the continued journey that I am on.

Great-Full #17

Today I am most thankful for my family.  Thank you for dinners and time spent chatting.  Thank you for allowing me to just be myself.  Thank you for taking me however I come.  Thank you for the support. Thank you for your time.  Thank you for letting me help you.  Thank you for always being there.  Thank you for helping me.  Thank you for everything, without my family I would be nothing.  There's a lot more thank you's when it comes to my family, but it makes me emotional and I don't need that tonight :)

Great-Full #16

Thank you for the patience to deal with students that cuss, play fight, act stupid and bark like dogs.  Thank you for the sweet, wonderful, wanting to learn students who grace my room and hang on every word I utter, while other students are blurting out, making fart noises, and occasionally barking like dogs.
Thank you for the student who made the comment that he thought I would be turning 29 this year. 
Thank you to my best friend for sending me a very empathetic email, it made me feel better.
Thank you to his girlfriend, who the more I get to know her, the more I really, really like her.

Thank you for allergy medicine. 

Thank you most of all for the spring like weather today and the dozens of beautiful black and orange fish swimming in the now thawed ponds.  

Great-Full #15

If you didn't realize - I'm not keeping up with this everyday, but I will write 40 blogs about all the stuff in my life I am grateful for.  Promise.

Today I am thankful for the gift of music.  I am thankful for an awesome community band to play with and a director that challenges me beyond belief, but knows that I can do it.  Although, I don't think he had the confidence I did at my last concert.  3/7/10, was PCCB (Platte County Community Band) winter concert.  I am thankful for the challenging music that was chosen.  I did curse it weekly and had to add practicing to my schedule.  But I am thankful for a fantastic musical experience.  Not only am I proud of the job I did on the solos and whatnot, I am proud to be a part of this band.  It was truly amazing.  No words really, just emotions for the experience.....

Thank you for the gift of music.  Thank you for the opportunity to move to a bigger city and be introduced to the oboe.  Thank you for my parents who have supported me at EVERY concert, marching band performance, and even CJT solos that my mom came to.  Thank you for every opportunity I have had to play with amazing musicians.  Thank you for all the bands, symphonies, and orchestras I've been in.  Thank you for the music that reaches my soul and the outlet that feeds it.  Thank you for providing an instrument to play on when mine was taken.  Thank you for the will and emotional stability to deal with that situation every week.  Thank you in the future for providing me with funds to by a new just as good oboe.  Thank you for allowing me to share my experience with concert goers and my parents, who are ALWAYS there. 

Thank you for the compliments on Sunday and the delicious dinner at Odowd's.  The black and tans and half and halfs were spot on!  Thank you!

Great-Full #14

SXSW!!!!

Thank you for finalizing road trip plans for spring break.  Thank you for a hotel in Austin.  Thank you for SXSW!  Thank you for the amazing musicians we will hear, see and meet while we are there.  Thank you for Mary for getting the week off and sparking this idea.  Thank you for enough money (hopefully) to pull this venture off.  Thank you for warm weather.  Thank you for future plans.  Thank me for staying in my budget and sticking to my guns and not giving in.  Thank me for having a budget.  Thank me for having money in my savings account and hoping it is still there next month (this is a big deal).  Thank you for all adventures big and small that remind me there is life to live and that I need and am out living it.  
Most of all, thank you for the week of work during March which includes St. Paddy's day and my birthday, always.   

Great-Full #13

A huge thank you to the sun and warmer weather.  Everyone is out and about, enjoying it and driving like crazies.  I love it.  Thank you!

Thank you for my BC Clear mini bottles that the BC lady dropped off the other day.  Thank you for my upcoming BC party where I will be able to get more product.  Thank you for lazy friday and saturday nights.  Thank you for the time to clean my house.  Thank you for the upcoming spring break.  Thank you for pampered chef and their stoneware.  Thank you for Jillian Michaels.  Thank you for a better feeling knee (although not 100%).  Thank you for my best friend Brian who understands me better than anyone and loves me unconditionally.  Thank you for allowing me to give him the same.  Thank you for time to hang. 

             Best Friends!