Allergies, what?

So I've been back to the doctor for weird skin stuff going on. He said he thought it was allergic reaction to something and then sent me to an allergist. I had my allergy test today (both the prick test and needle testing). In a nutshell (not allergic to those) I am allergic to animals (especially mites, cats, and horses), mold, weeds, Birch trees, Johnson and Kentucky blue grass, sage, wheat pollen, and eggs.

My arms were red, swollen and itchy from all the testing. But it was worth it. I will be getting three different shots once a week. I'm going to give this all a few months and if I'm still getting the red spots on my legs I'm going to go back to the rheumologist. The allergy doctor even suggested that I go to one before she new that I'd been to one before! But at least all the allergies are ruled out. I like knowing something rather than nothing. I don't like the feeling of wondering what the hell is wrong with me. So I'm relieved in that sense.




Merry Christmas!!!

Tonight is my family Christmas and then we'll probably hang out tomorrow. Then on Friday I am heading up to South Dakota to visit the Steen side of the family - see my cousins and Aunts and Uncles. I'm going to stop through Council Bluffs, IA on the way home and hang out with the Lendts. I'm looking forward to the little trip.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and that santa is very nice to each on of you!

tryin' on something new

Thanks to April (I cheated off your blog layout) I'm trying on something new. It isn't quite as comfortable as what I had before - but I thought I'd try it out while I was looking for a new layout.

Tag, I'm it!!!!

Thank you for the tag, April! I'm happy to fill this out.


The rules:
1. Post the rules on your blog.
2. Fill out the questions below.
3. Tag 5-7 people at the end of your post.
4. Pass on the tag. Have FUN!!

1.Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Both. I can have hot chocolate at anytime. I usually only have egg nog once a year - a little goes a long way!

2.Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Santa usually puts them in a bag, depending on what it is. And yes, Santa still comes to my house. I will always believe :)

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
white on the tree - I'm not adverse to colored though.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No, but I did when I was in the practice of kissing someone regularly. It should probably be the other way around - I should have it up now so I get kisses, wanted or not.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
day after Thanksgiving.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
I have some Norwegian favorites that I only get on the holidays - lefse, krumkake etc. I also look forward to all the baked goods.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child?
I don't have a very good long term memory - but I can remember one Christmas when I was really little my Grandma and Grandpa Barnes were there and we were driving to church or something and my Grandparents and I were looking out the window trying to see Santa and his reindeer. I love any memory where I can remember being with family. I have good memories of going to South Dakota every Christmas too and playing with my cousins, and driving on the lake.

8. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
That is when we always open our gifts. Since we usually went to South Dakota on Christmas day, we always had our family Christmas on Christmas Eve. We still do even if we don't go to South Dakota.

9. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
Lots of ornaments from whatever. It's just a compilation of ornaments I've gotten since I got my first Christmas tree in 2000. I have some from students, many from friends and then just others that I've bought as fillers.

10. Can you ice skate?
I don't know - I haven't been for a long time. But the times I have gone I've been able to. I think I'm going to try and get some friends together to do that this year - it would be a fun activity.

11. Do you remember your favorite gift?
I've received so many wonderful and amazing gifts it's hard to say which is my favorite. The top two are my tv and my heart necklace.

12. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
what isn't my favorite? I love, love, love, Natalie and her mom's bake-a-thon goodie bag!

13. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Christmas with my family on Christmas eve.

14. What tops your tree?
a poor looking angel, but she's always been on my tree.

15. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
hmmm..this year has been a hard one for the giving, so receiving. But I love giving too.

16. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
We three kings...All traditional Christmas songs.

17. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
okay - I don't like how they get stuck in my teeth - love them in hot drinks though

18. What do you want for Christmas?
I have no friggin' clue. (and then after thinking I came up with this list:) An external hard drive, more memory for my computer, $400 to pay for my ticket to Washington DC, a new outfit, shoes/boots, a Coach purse (like Celinda's)

19. Do you attend an annual Christmas Party?
yes, several. Most of them not so party - but more of an excuse to make lots of good food and eat as well as share our musical talents.

20. Do you dress up on Christmas or wear PJs?
Wear PJ's or sweatshirt and jeans

21. Do you own a santa hat?
Two actually - never really wear them though

22. Who do you normally spend Christmas with?
Myself, My family if we get together on the 25th.

I tag: Alicia and Sheila

NEWS!!

Thanks to my dear friend, Brian, I will be attending the Presidential Inauguration! A once in a lifetime event! I cannot believe I'm going and I cannot wait. There will be so many high profile people going. We won't have the tickets until we get to D.C. but we could possibly even have seats (although, I don't know how two midwesterners would get seats...). I'm totally stoked and now have to figure out what I am going to wear (under the layers of coat, scarf and hat. Maybe some new jeans are in order (the expensive ones...)?




Had to get my girl in there!

a load off

I have finally been able to pay for my bridesmaid dress for the March wedding and pay for my property taxes! Whew! It's a load off.

Holiday Traditions

Here's 11 of my favorite holiday traditions.

1. Enjoying a Christmas Show
Brian and I started this tradition, hmmm...5? years ago, anyway we usually go see Magic of Christmas that the Kansas City Symphony puts on. The tickets are pricey and money is tight,so this year, we went to see the Boston Brass at the Leid Center at KU. It was absolutely fantastic and funny! I enjoyed every moment. It's one of my favorite traditions and I fully intend to keep it up every year. While I was looking for a pic of the Boston Brass, I came across this. Enjoy.



2. Putting up the Christmas decs the day after Thanksgiving
3. Going to a Christmas party.
This year, I was invited to go with Shannon and Andrew to an Ugly Christmas Sweater party. Since I went to one last year, I just recycled that and put more crap on it. Here's a pic of us that went. I don't like they way I look, so I'm also including a second pic of the ladies. (vain, I know)












4. Driving around looking at Christmas lights.
5. Christmas eve dinner with my family at IHOP or Denny's.
6. Candle light service at church.
Haven't done this for many years - but it still is one of my favorite moments of the year.
7. Traveling to South Dakota to see the Steen side of the family.
I haven't done this for a few years - but will be going this year.
8. Baking
I enjoy cooking and baking. I usually do a lot more baking during the holidays than cooking. This year so far, I made krumkake (kroom-ka-ka) for a work get together. My cousin, Maure (thank you Maure!), gave me a fancy krumkake maker a few years ago and I just used it for the first time. I've never made these by myself, only with my aunts at family reunions. It was really fun, and really impressive. They turned out to be very delicious. Here's a pic of my goodness:



9. Giving gifts
This year the gift giving is very limited. I haven't been able to get people what I want, if anything at all. I've even had a hard time giving of myself. I'm not without the Christmas spirit, just without the Christmas finances and the emotional stability. While this year may be a challenge, I think this still is one of my favorite traditions anytime of the year, not just at Christmas. The best Christmas for this was the first Christmas down at the loft (2000 or 2001) with Brian. We got each other an insane amount of gifts - it was awesome! That was back when we had nothing and so there was a lot of gifts to get and be useful. It's hard now that we have all the little stuff we need.

10. Getting gifts
Santa still comes to my house. My family has the best Christmases. My parents are so great about getting gifts that are outrageous for Eric and I and often leave us speechless. Last year - huge flat screen tv for me. I can remember when we got laptops one Christmas. It's always surprising and insane. But I love it - I can't lie. It'll be a sad day when either of us gets married and has kids - that when I see Santa coming to them and not to us...

11. Sending/Receiving Christmas Cards
I enjoy this ritual and try to do it on Thanksgiving break every year. I've started a little late this year, but I'll get them out. I also love receiving them and display them for everyone who enters my house to look at and admire.

Snow days - Hooray!

I became a teacher for a plethora of reasons. But today, the only reason that stands out is the snow day we got today! So exciting. I don't know what to do with my day - stay in or go out? I guess when I check my funds they will decide for me.

The Thanksgiving Report

**gonna be a long wordy one. read at your own risk.

Thanksgiving was a total success. I truly feel the tur-duck-hen is the only way to go. You take it out of a bag and put it in the oven. Nothing is better than not having to take the wire out of a frozen turkey! Plus the tur-duck-hen is very very tastey. The only thing I would do different is put my own stuffing in it. I wasn't too crazy about the stuffing. I am already scouting out people who prepare tur-duck-hen's here in KC so I can customize for next year. And even though my parents brought over a turkey to roast along with the tur-duck-hen because they were fearful, they ended up enjoying it a lot and took home their roasted turkey. This is by far the first thanksgiving in a long time that I didn't feel frustrated or upset about cooking and cleaning up (because, I do a majority of it all since it's at my house). Anyway - I call it a total success. I was very happy with all of it.

That night I got out and saw the plaza lights turn on with fireworks. I hadn't been for a few years and it was a special treat. It really made Christmas start for me.

So everything is going really well and then I was hit hard with severe depression for the rest of the weekend. I felt really lucky not to be depressed this fall (that is when it usually occurs). But like a mack truck, on it came. I am pretty sure the trigger was the holidays and the lonliness. I did decorate my house and my tree looks great - much prettier than the charlie brown tree it was last year, even though it's the same tree (I modified it). So, anyway, I spent all weekend trying to combat that crap. I did get online to check out the 24 hour fitness deals (I've been wanting my membership back, but couldn't afford it) and they had a great deal on friday. So I ended up getting a membership. I've already been a few times and feel really good about that decision. It was one of those things in life that just feels right. So that is a happy thing. And I am feeling much better today, maybe it was just the lonely holiday.

The 24 hour pass couldn't have come at a better time because work is disheartening and disappointing. I have hope for the future, but that is for later and another blog entirely. The working out really does help me so much. I wish I could be consistent about it all year round, some year soon.

I'm really looking forward to a trip to Clarinda for some wedding planning/helping for Shannon this weekend. All the bridesmaids will be there. I think it will be a really nice time.

I'm working on some things for my blog. Hopefully I can get them together and on here for more entertainment than my verbose blogging.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Drum roll.......




Ta da! A Tur-duc-hen. It is beautiful.

Edward...

In one word, I would describe this movie as - okay. As an obsessed fan I found it exciting, reassuring, and damn sexy. But if I hadn't read the book, I might think that the movie is a little slow in parts. I didn't think they developed the characters as much as they should have. I kinda think it was due to time. I am excited to see the rest of the movies. I will be reading the entire saga again at Christmas break - I am going to try and read it in one setting -all four books. Did I mention - obsessed.

Anyway - for the reader, it's a must to go see the movie and probably own them in the future. For the person who hasn't ventured into reading the books, save your money. Although, it is beyond me why anyone wouldn't read these books. They are iconic.

For Stephanie Meyer fans - do read The Host, sci fi and really enjoyable, couldn't put it down (which means I read it in one setting).

I am so looking for my Edward. Readers - all 4 of you - send some thoughts out into the universe for me to find my other, I am ready! (but that's another blog)

myth busted!

Myth: Special Educators make more than regular teachers.

Truth - Every public district (in MO) is on a scale, that is published and your wages are based off of your years of experience and amount of education.
Truth - Special Ed. teachers do have more responsibilities than regular educators (IEP, case managers etc.)

Just had to set everyone straight.

micromanagers

Micromanager - a person usually in a supervisory position that needs to control every movement of the people/person they supervise.

My supervisor is a micromanager. I believe this is the second year that my supervisor or process coordinator has worked in this position. As a membership development director at Girl Scouts, I also held a position that supervised people -volunteer (as many as 200-300). While I see the difference in the number of people we have experience in supervising and that the jobs on the whole are different, managing people is not. There are several ways to manage people, several hundreds of books written on the subject. Any one of these books would help my supervisor (do I hear anonymous Christmas gift??!!). As a micromanager she feels the need to exercise her power in negative ways. She writes evaluations with only negative information on them. She points out people's faults in the middle of a team meeting (with all your peers around). She has to oversee every piece of written information given to parents, every decision made for every child in our building. These are the major things, there are several small things that I could discuss here as well. Please don't think that I am not open to seeing that she might feel or have been told that this is in fact her actual job. But any person put into a management position, or even an educational one (working directly with kids) should understand that for every negative, bring three positives. And that you should never call someone (kid or adult) out in front of their peers, that is bully behavior (and several more professional words that I can't remember right now). A person put into management also might know that the people they are managing are professionals, some with a higher degree of education than themselves. They should be treated as such, and when they don't meet expectations, coach them on to being better - give them the knowledge or places where they can gain knowledge to be better at the job. Give them support. And above all, a manager should know that if you expect something from someone, make it known, make your expectations clear from the get go so there are no questions.
These are my 'secrets' to being a quality teacher. It can be so frustrating for me to work with/for someone that can't uphold them or doesn't know how herself. She continually makes comments about how 'literal' I am. This bothers me. I am not a 'literal' person, but I do expect to have the knowledge to do things right the first time. My supervisor does not give that to me. I think it's because she doesn't know until she gets it. And there is some trickle down from her direct supervisor - not all this is on her.
She is just so frustrating to me.
I'm curious to know how many other of my fellow special education teachers out there have to have every piece of document completed before the meeting actually happens? The IEP, the notice of action, manifestation determination, ammendment to the IEP -everything.

Speaking of the notice of action - since when did we have to fill those out for every little thing? And the wording is so awkward - what urban parent is going to be able to understand it? I feel like everytime I have to use the bathroom I need to fill out a notice of action and have her check it over before I go. Ridiculous.

Enough of my rant. I've chosen the higher road this year to just do what people tell me to do, and go above and beyond for the kids like normal. I feel that there will be a door available for me to open, and when that time comes, open sesame!

I live for weekends.

This was a great weekend. I have some good pics to share. We celebrated my best friend, Brian's birthday. We went to a Japanese steak house, the kind where they cook in front of you and try to throw shrimp into your mouth.


Here's the crew that went, and normally goes. From left to right, if my memory serves right - Brian, Me, Jesse, Celinda and Clinton.

I bought Brian his first Sake experience. It was fun. Sake is good after the first little sips. I also learned from Jesse that, like wine, there are different types of Sake and that it can be dry, or sweet (probably not 'our' sweet). I think Sake just adds to the experience.


Here's our chef making a flaming volcano out of onions. He had a little story to go with it. The fun part of a dinner at a Japanese steakhouse is the entertainment!

We ended the night at Brian's house eating delicious cake he made and Stacey (Gavin's wife) frosted. Brian was very specific about how he wanted his cake frosted. He wanted a black white cake (think Seinfeld black white cookie, or if you've been to NYC - the black white cookie). So Stacey made that happen. It was a great cake and a great end of a great night.

Nights where I just hang out with friends, be it out at dinner or at someone's house, are my favorite. They just leave me with a good feeling.

Halloween, Obama, and Work

Well. A lot has happened. I'll post on it in chronological order.

1. I forgot my camera when I went to the halloween party. But compliments of facebook, I have pictures.




This is most of the party. I have other pictures, but need to dr. them up a bit before I put them on here.

2. History was made on Tuesday night as Barack Obama was voted in President Elect. I'm not surprised, but it's still an amazing event to me. I'm happy to have shared this event with 11-14 year olds, I've tried to impress upon them the complicated importance of the situation. I really feel we are all really lucky to be a part of this. I also am (and remember this is MY blog, I can feel how I want) happy to see a movement rather than just a person elected. It's necessary at this time and in this place. I just feel that in order to put our country back together, it's gonna take a village (or a nation), not one man or group of men or congress or whatever.

3. Speaking of villages....I'm really learning this year in my job that it really does take an entire village to raise a child. I'm being challenged everyday to let go of any and all control I have on situations. I'm also being challenged with lots of failures or learning situations. I can't do it all this year - I have entirely too many responsibilities to keep everything running the way it should. I am in the early stages of failing at my position (which is new, and I'm the only one in the school doing it, and there is no blue print - just a fire that I was thrown into).
And someday down the road, I'll be thankful for this experience. But right now it's sobering, depressing, and leaves me feeling vulnerable.

3 is a good number. Happy week, everyone.

The Results!

This was supposed to be a widget to countdown the results and then give the results out. I got it off MSNBC website. It looked really cool - sorry that it isn't working. Go Obama.

"text/javascript" src="http://widgets.clearspring.com/o/48ffa387494151d4/49108173fcb8deae/49053293fe1d6987/dc6bbea4/widget.js"

Size 10 'shoes

I actually wear a size 9, but I have 10 things here that I just spouted off the last 5 minutes.

1. Halloween is on a Friday this year. That's exciting. I will be attending a house party 3 blocks away. I like to play it safe!

2. Buying hair weave glue really wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be. A friend has some red weave we can put in my hair for halloween tomorrow. I am very excited about this experience.

3. Political ads are ridiculous and annoying. I am tired of them. I can't wait for Nov. 4th to be over so I won't have to endure them any longer. And we'll know who the next president is.

4. I hope all people I know that are 18 and over and live in MO, especially, know the importance of their vote. I hope everyone gets out there, waits in line and votes. It will be worth it in the end.

5. I am tutoring after school now. It's what makes my day. It's what makes me want to get up and go.

6. I hope Mona got the box I sent, it's full of halloween stuff.

7. I am glad tomorrow is a B day/C day.

8. I'd like to know who looks at my blog from 'Grandview, MO'

9. I often wonder weird things, such as, Do you think someone could live in KCI without getting caught?

10. (finally) Is it terrible that I'm excited for the pictures I'll be taking on Halloween, as I am for Halloween itself?

Halloween Hair

Thought some of you would enjoy pics of my halloween hair. :)

randy pandy

As I make my way out to popular places in KC, concerts, or the local hot spot I notice a few things:

1. The smoking ban has affected local bars, but not the big businesses or the big chain bars. This is sad, I would hate to lose Corner Cocktail or other Waldo favs. It's also happy because you CAN come home from a binder and not have to smell like cigarettes and beer.

2. More and more wanna be d-bags are wearing Affliction T-shirts. If you're a geek, you're become a geeky d-bag when you put on the affliction t-shirt. Those $80 shirts will not get you laid any more than the $7 screen prints at target will. More than likely your chances are nil anyway. Just say no to the Affliction wear.


3. It's getting increasingly harder to tell who's straight and who's not. Men are just as well groomed as women, and sometimes wearing women's jeans for the tight-jean show. Men are standing different as well. I believe that someday we could evolve into a unisex being. There won't be anymore playing with gender roles because they won't exist.

There's my two on some issues. That felt good.

Toadies

What a week. I had parent/teacher conferences this week so worked 13 hours straight on wednesday and thursday. Thursday night my brother and I went to see the Toadies at the Beaumont Club. The Toadies are an old early 90's band. They made it big with the album Possom Kingdom which came out in 94. I loved this album and listened to it religiously until my brother stole it, or I gave it to him (don't really remember how it went down). So when we heard they were coming to KC ~ we figured we should go.
It was a GREAT SHOW! It was short, they only played for about an hour and fifteen, but still really good. For as old as they are they can still rock. The sound was awesome, some of the best I've heard at the Beaumont. The crowd was eclectic. Of course more men then women, and more older kids than younger kids.
Toadies have myspace and facebook - check them out.

ohhhh the niceness.

So this is day 2 of my oh my goodness niceness. It has been pleasurable. I can't tell you the last day that has been pleasurable. I can tell you that yesterday and today I have woken up and not had to lay back down in between morning tasks. I also have gotten to work on time. I have been pleasant (for the most part at work) and had the best enrichment (the only real class I teach by myself this year) class I've had all year. Maybe I was just feeling so crappy, sluggish, and unable to really breathe that it totally altered my state of being. But now that I feel so good and can really breathe, (it's really a different feeling!) I am so struck to really get some of those life changes in effect. I really don't want to go out so much anymore. I don't really want to drink as much anymore. I do want to stay at home on friday or saturday night (I know, surprise) and just do whatever. I might want to hang out at a friends house one of those nights and maybe watch a movie or something lowkey, but I can't go out all weekend. I do want to limit my caffiene intake. I do want to drink a lot more water. I do want to keep feeling as good as I feel now. And I do want to be nice all the time and not feel a struggle to do it. And I was struggling, with everything.

BTW - I don't think any of this last fall has had anything to do with my usual fall 'funk' as I have referred to it in the past. I really haven't felt those funky emotions this fall. It is a pretty happy fall. I actually think that maybe there will be no more fall funk. I have a theory, but it'll probably take a few years to prove. Forgiveness is so healing. It might have healed me from my funk.

What does suck, but I'm not letting it get me down is the fact that when I woke up this morning, the sun wasn't up yet and now I'm still standing here (at another job, but still standing) at work and the sun is almost gone again. Reminds me of the DTA days.

Tomorrow is the vball recognition and then it's officially over. I'm excited to be productive with my extra time. I plan on doing some tutoring after school a few days a week (unless I get a homebound position) and I also plan on cleaning on the house everyday as well as working out at home everyday (I have lots of dvds).

Anyway - thanks for the comments and thanks for letting me have this outlet to write out stuff and know that the people that read it care! peace!